Tiswas Day

Hmm..battered veneer on my Coronado...Maybe?

Well, bit of a clamped squid of an end to the week. Nothing showed-up of any use, and apart from playing with the frets and rather dry fretboard of The Tatty Adonis One there hasn't been too much to distract me. I just know that everything I've been waiting for will arrive first thing on Monday morning when I have a fortnight to look-but-don't-touch.

But what can you do?

CCCRRRYYY III TTTEEELLL TTTHHHEEEEEEEEE

Phew, that's better.

So where am I?

1. The Fabulous One - Body coming from Mojo-land, rest of the bits here already, just need to add a bit of bottle and make some sawdust. (There may be a touch more to it than that.) Half tempted to put a veneer on it after seeing this piccy, mind.

2. The Ronin One - Got it all, just need to drill new bridge post holes, which I will do if the drill and plug cutter things ever arrive from La la land.

3. The Tatty Adonis One - Wiring from Mojo and a pile of other bits on their merry way too. Like I said, this is the-official-holibob-build, so with a bit of luck there might be something to see by Good Friday. (Why is it called Good Friday when the nailed him up? Never understood that...)

4. Chopping wood - waiting for router bits, some clamps and a child-free-environment, but I think it will be a while before I actually produce a body that could be usable, has to be said. Though man, once I get the hang of this, there is going to be some seriously weird shit going down. (ahem, well probably.)

Yep. think that is about it.

After that, who knows. I have still got some walnut burr veneer that I intended to put on a Tele, so that will probably happen sooner or later, and I fancy doing a proper Esquire, so that could tie together nicely. If The Fabulous One doesn't get Burred first. I've always cheated and hidden a stealthy neck pickup, but it would be nice to do-it-proper for once. Maybe walnut and paisley, Hmmm, who can say. I seem to have reawakened my paisley muse, for the odd and special occasion, but it's all about finding the fabric, man, dontchaknow....

But that is then, and yesterday finished with a no-show on the courier front before taking #1 Son to his first Rugby match. I think the last time I went was, ooh, thirty years ago or more, and I was a bit surprised to find that they don't pass humbugs around and sing roll out the barrel anymore.

A tootle and a blip.

La la laaa

Getting Tatty On It

My Daughter Helped Me With The Fotos Today

Well, young Marc at Mojo is doing me proud. I've got a couple of wiring thingies coming as well as the Coronado body for The Fabulous One, so that is back in the realms of possibility again, assuming I can find the courage to chop the pickup and control holes in it.

I think I said before that I'd got a nice Maple/Maple Strat neck for it, and a chunky looking trapeze tailpiece too. For the bridge I'm going for one of those ABR or Nashville ones stuck to a bit of rosewood, dead classy like. On the pickup I think it will be a dogear Bare Knuckle P90, though I came across some lovely old Burns ones for sale (or NOS ones anyway) and I'm tempted by those. Just have to see how it feels, I guess.

Elsewhere, The Tatty Adonis One is dry and looking rather swish, I'm really rather pleased with the mix of bronze and copper and aceeeedificated degradation.

Takes all sorts,
I realise that.

I'm still waiting for the proper scratchplate and well, just about everything else, but as I've got another tortie plate around I thought I could give you a bit of a scamp of an artistically challenged impresh.

It's what friends are for, after all.

Other than that, I'm doing my usual bit for the balance of payments, and packing up The BDSM One which is off to a new home in the sun in Greece. Assuming all the usual bobbins about couriers and the rest. All of which means I'm back to being Jookiless again :o(

Better get me finger out then

La la laaa

Grandad Dog Rescues Jooky
If Only

Captain Grandad Pig Pilots Like A Whale

Pigs Over-bored

Finale

Teardrops of a Clown

A Chunk of Wood

Well, another day, and another selection of courier types to hang around in wait of.

So I was going to plot the finer details of The Tatty Adonis One, and lay them out before you like pearls (no offence), when a great chunk of wood arrived and I got sidetracked by blinding ambish.

But what to do..

First thought, maybe a Ricky 620 shaped thingy?

But the wood was too small for that. I really should measure these things.

Then I thought - a Vox Teardrop.

And that looked good.

So do I do a Tele pickup/bridge etc. ?

Maybe

Or even a P90 and a humbucker?

Too Small for Ricky - Shame

Hard to say.

Still, I think I'll wait for the neck before I get too carried away, I'd hate to mess up the bridge placement and all that.

(Man I'm on old pro' - slap the warpaint on and off I go).

But the UPS chappy just arrived and took The Foxy Roxy One Dave-wards. Blimey.





That interrupted the flow.


Where was I? Oh yeah...

So that is good.

As for The Tatty Adonis One, the front and back are drying for the day, but look rather swish, although worryingly, there is something-of-the-swirl about them..

Just Right for a Teardrop - Huzzah

As for the rest of the bobbins -

1. Maple/Rosewood Stratish neck

2. Wilkinson Steel Blocked Trem thingy for mucho zinginess and sustain

3. Single humbucker at the bridge. Not quite sure what yet, but there we are. I want something bright and sunny, I think. I may well use the Gretsch one, as the neck one was rather lovely in The BDSM One. Hmmm...

4. Tuners - I've really liked the Wilkinson pre-aged Rotomatic types, so I'm going with them as they are my new favourites.

This week anyway.

5. Scratchplate - I am really tempted to go for a nice torty one, just for a change. It is either that or something to match the body. Mr Mojo is doing me a wiring loom, which is all cool and means the guitar will work, always a bonus.

As for when - well, it is Easter holibobs for a fortnight after tomorrow, so The Tatty Adonis One might have to be my holiday 'treat'. chopping wood will have to wait until I can be alone. By which time hopefully all of the tooly stuff will have arrived...and I might even get the Ronin One bridged up and ready to go.

Got to pack The BDSM One up now though, as it is off to Greece in the morning (well, another day of courierdom to look forward to, I guess.)

La la laaa

Screwy Drivers a Gogo

Well, I got meself all befuddled yesterday, and forgot that I hadn't actually got a case for The Foxy Roxy One, or rather I hadn't actually tried to put it into the case I thought was for it, and when I did, it didn't.

Fit that is.

So anyway, a shiny new case arrived today, Foxy got smothered in various packing bobbins and then entombed in Gaffa tape. My usual 50m. It's turning into a trade mark. And there we be.

So now tomorrow will be spent waiting for the miserable git from UPS to pick it up and then dump it on a roadside somewhere between here and the distant north.

Other than that, I did manage to finish the back of The Tatty Adonis One, and that looks good (to me anyway) so I've started the front.

Still pretty clueless as to what pickups I'll have in there, but I'm sure I'll think of something. I am dithering a bit, and am really tempted to do a single pup one again, mainly because I haven't in ages and well, I like them. And I have half a mind (shock!) to keep it for a while.

I could maybe get a Wide Range pup, I've never tried one before so it could be fun. Though i think they are a funny size? I can't remember.

Oh, and somebody partially bought The BDSM One this morning too, so that is on hold a while again to see what happens.

All in all then, a bit of a juggling kinda day. I did buy a screwdriver, I know you were worried about that. Bloomin' good it is too, lots of attachments and extendable twisty bits to break. Which I will, I expect. It doesn't go around corners, like the old one, but then it never did it when I wanted to, and mostly did when i didn't, so I can live without such latent functionality.

Still no coffee though, might have to pop to Argos, as I can't see me lasting another day without a bit of a plonge.

La la laaa

A Life In A Day

Well, I have to say - in the oft repeated words of my daughter - I've not been having a good day.

First of all, my cafetiere broke. OK, I know that sounds knobby, but life is too short for shonky coffee. We all have our own little peccywotsits, lets face it, and half a gallon of super strength, dark and thick isn't just the missus' preference.

Anyway, I picked it up and the bottom fell out and that stuff makes a mess. Worserer even, I had to drink instant. Blend 37 - shocking stuff that is.

Next, I thought I'd give The Foxy Roxy One a final going over before she travels north and gets cold. I'd also suggested to young David of Gorman fame that I could put a P90 in at the neck for more tonal goodliness. I had a nice Bare Knuckle Mississippi Queen and I thought it would go well with a bit of Velvet Brickedness.

So strings off, neck oiled, frets polished, it is all going well. But can I find my screwdriver?
Nope.

OK, maybe having more than one would make sense, but you know. I try to be minimal with the tools, one screwdriver, one hammer, one chisel (left) and guitars one-at-a-time. It is turning into a liturgy or maybe a litany, I forget which.

So instead I'm using methods of dubious nefarity, when I realise that I don't know where the P90 is.

Finally found it, spent half an hour looking for my multimeter, then batteries as it has been left on, then one of the probe things that was last used to get a splinter out of my hand, but finally. Sorted..

Test the P90 and it is totally dead. Wired it up anyway, in case it is the multimeter, but nope. Still dead.

I may have cried at this point.

So I put the Velvet Bricks back in, still no screwdriver and I'm back at square one.

Go and find my strings - feeling smug that I had some, having thought ahead, planned. co-ordinated and generally got-my-head-together and bought ten packs just last week. It is good to be organised, apparently.

Typically, the "10" string for the high e was missing in the first pack I opened.

Then the second,

Then the third and, and - and well, all of them.

Worse they were meant to come with a spare, so 20 strings missing from 10 new packs of strings. Man i love Ebay. Back to StringsDirect for me.

Not happy at all.

So I figure, this is meant to be going oop norf tomorrow so I'd better go and buy some.

That is when I locked myself out, keys cheekily smiling at me thru the letterbox.

A worrying three minutes later I'd managed to break back in, setting the alarm off as though anybody would do anything even if they did happen to notice, which they didn't and won't.

Got my keys and back out to the car, which totally refused to open.

Managed to get into my car in six minutes (I'm a one raspberry ripple crimewave today) and finally headed off.

Got stuck on the M5 for half an hour, went to the shop and it was closed.

Drove for twenty minutes to another shop and they only had acoustic strings or 8s.

Can you even play guitars with 8s?

Drove to a third music shop and bought some strings. Huzzah.

Hope he likes flatwounds.

Got home in time to go out and get the brats from school.

So there we are, the strings are about to go on and the sum achievement for the day is that I have oiled the fretboard. Which I'd already done once before and probably was just fine and dandesome as it was

I think I was wise not to play with any power tools today, after all.

So tomorrow, rises in front of me with a day of courier-baiting to look forward to, as no doubt does the day after.

In other news, I dropped my Gordon Smith - I never had quite gotten around to putting the Grolsh washers on it, and now it doesn't work. Should be thankful the headstock didn't fly off, I guess.

Oh, and I changed my mind about The Tatty Adonis One, and instead of going for the Jazzmaster/Gretsch combo, I'm going to do something else. (Making a mockery of my routing, but what the hell.)

The reason for this bank vault mush? Well, it struck me that there was no really good reason to do it. And a mirror image of The BDSM One didn't really do it for world peace, art or sustained interest. I can do better than that, methinks.

As for the butchered body - sorry, carefully crafted body, well I've bronze and copper basted the back and then gone for a two stage acid medley. I want more of a scratched wash corrosion with this, so I'll see what it looks like in the morning. As for the pickups, ah, I'll think of something, I'm sure.

La la laaa

Tis a Family Affair

Bye Bye Foxy Roxy..

Well, rather amazingly I managed to rout out the body for The Tatty Adonis One without going all the way thru and out of the back. I had a couple of slight issues, but finding that turning the power up makes it work faster, was a big bonus. As was putting the cutty bit (technical talk) at the right height so that it took everything away rather than hollowing the guitar out and leaving the top untouched. Couldn't do that again if I tried, mind.

Less goodly so to learn was that going faster makes small errors into big mistakes, but such is life. The router bit I have doesn't seem to want to go into the corners so I'll need to either wait for reinforcements or sort out the edges with a file or something before the pickup will fit, but all in all not so bad.

Obviously, I will also need a scratchplate, and I've got a nice HH one coming which will be the routers next job. That should be here tomorrow I think.

I must admit I am thinking that it may be a tad safer to have a router with an on/off switch that works, but then it is all part of the charm of the thing.

Assuming the scratchplate arrives, next step is to tidy up the holes in the body and then rout the Jazzmaster pup hole in the scratchplate. Once they fit together it is probably time to break out the bronze paint again.

As for my templates, I'm going to have a play with the pickup and neck ones on some scrap wood today, as being able to do them might come in handy one day.

I am also be-saddened to see The Foxy Roxy One is off to the Scottish Home For Retired Jookies, and joining The Lulu, Porn Shop, Iceblink, Beaton and Bye Bye Buy Ones in the fair hands of the rather nifty and popular combo that is Gorman. Though in the Australian branch I guess in a few weeks time. Hopefully, it will hold it's own in such aloof company.

All of which means that my whining about not having guitars to play is getting worse, so I should get my finger out and make some more I think.

L a la    laaaa

Templature Rising...

Well, I had a bit of bad news on The Fabulous One as the chap who was making the body is unfortunately ill and won't be making them anymore.. Obviously, my disappointment isn't really relevant, so there we are. Hope he gets and feels better soon.

I mentioned this to Marc at Mojo - he is going to do me another funky wiring loom for The Tatty Adonis One - and it seems he had bought one such body off the chap already, and as luck would have it wasn't likely to use it. And me being a scavenger...

So The Fabulous One looks like it might happen after all, which is a bit of a result as not a lot else around here seems to be. Ah, the ups and downs, the ins and outs, the general roundaboutedness of Jooky life, tis never boring. Apart from, well, when it is.

This week though is all about The Tatty Adonis One and today I am planning on getting the routing sorted out. I had a bit more of a praccy over the weekend and am getting vaguely competent now, so fingers crossed. I have invested in a dust mask and some gloves though as I've come to the conclusion that breathing in wood dust isn't ideal. It gets stuck in your teeth never mind anything else. Good job I don't breath thru my nose, though maybe nasal hair would come into it's own, who can say really.

And as luck would have it, my lovely collection of guitarish templates just arrived from Matt at Kemp Guitars in Cornwall. As you can see it was a bit of a 'Starter Pack' - templates for neck pockets, Tele, Humbucker and P90 pickups and bestest of all for a Vox Teardrop, a Rickenbacker 620 and a Fender Telecaster. I forgot to ask him for a Jazzmaster one, so I must remember to do that.

OK, I've got a bit of learning to do, but if nowt else I can stand in front of a mirror and strum my MDF Vox. A boy needs some entertainment, after all, and it isn't that far off a Danelectro, when you think about it.

They are (amazingly) for another day though, as I'm going to carry on with my routing of The Tatty Adonis One as I'm never been one to jump around and get distracted, me.

La la laaa

Sold: The BDSM One

Bringing together a lot of Jooky themes, The BDSM One features a stunning paisley finish, with a walnut burr and rust veneer on the scratchplate – but that doesn’t even begin to scratch the well worn surface.

Pickups are a one-off handwound prototype Jazzmaster pickup at the bridge, made in the UK by Mojo Pickups. This gives a fantastic and thick single coil sound with a deeper darkness that you can’t find with any other type of pickup. At the neck is a Gretsch humbucker, taken from a 5120 and gives a fantastic lead sound. Mixed they are just something else.

The tremolo and bridge block are from a ‘70s MIJ Strat and features a solid brass block which rings and sustains magnificently.

Elsewhere aged Wilkinson tuners are rock solid and the neck is a nice hand-filling piece of wood that boasts a low, yet buzz free action. This feels like a proper guitar, sounds unique and looks amazing. Gretsch branded pickup cover and knobs add a touch of class.

*


To be clear, The BDSM One is an utterly unique guitar, and there will never, ever, be another made. It is signed and numbered, entirely hand built and finished cooler than a slo-mo run across the pebbled beach at Portishead. There will genuinely never be another guitar like this and past experience suggests that it won’t be around for long.

*** SOLD ***

Technical Stuff:

Type: Leona's Groovy Guitar - Vera Veneer - Cilla's Rusty Iron

Electrics: Mojo Pickups Jazzmaster, Gretsch Humbucker

Guitar Type: Fender Stratocaster

Construction: Wood body, maple/rosewood neck, Fabric, walnut veneer and rusted iron finish

Strings: Nickel 10s

Output: ¼” Guitar Lead

Controls: Volume, Tone, 3-way-switch

Special Stuff: Certificate of Authenticity, Builder Signed and Numbered, All Wrapped with our Trademark Jooky Wrapping.

Serial Number: JGE#49

RSP: £799

All About Aged Mahogany These Daze

Well,  the weekend is brightly yet breezily endowed and the noise levels are back thru the roof thanks to a local bratski infestation.

Getting entirely side-tracked while I wait for other bobbins to show it's face, I decided I would put my little bronzed Strat together this week. Need to keep my hand in after all.

The body was a nice ash one (I keep notes and sometimes find them) and I think I'd saved it for a special occasion, which I'm presuming was Easter. I also have a lovely maple boarded Strat neck which was going to go on The Fabulous One, but can be diverted for a goodly cause.

I don't have a Stratty bridge/trem, but they are hardly rocket science and tuners, well, I'm always buying them. Got a standing order with Axesrus on that score.

As for the finish, I want to do a bronzed one that has been more naturally corroded - something more statuesque, with a bit of a jaundiced-lemony-twist.

As for the pickups, as I said, I'm going to continue with my nascent routaling, and it will have a nice Jazzmaster pickup at the neck and a humbucker at the bridge. This will either be the other Gretsch one from the 5120, or perhaps something a wee bit warmer, I'm not sure yet. I'm thinking I might try a blend pot too, while I'm at it, especially if I go a bit hot-hot-hot on the 'bucker.

So that's the plan for The Tatty Adonis One. Tis going to be a little bit groovy and not a little twangtastic.

La la laaa

Working My Wood

Well, given that everything seems to have ground to a bit of a halt around here at the moment, I thought I'd do a bit of wood shopping prior to chopping.

I've already got some old chunks to practicate on, but assuming I manage to get anywhere near competent, I've gone for a one piece body blank made of Poplar or American Tulip Wood, whatever that is. I'm hoping that will be quite light as I'm planning to use it for the Teardrop body, which I want to have a bit of depth, dontchaknow.. As in it will be a bit thick, I think you can probably see it will be self-referential in concept.

That is a new piece of wood, which I figured for a first attempt might be a good idea. I'm thinking of this as a prototype, which in my IS days was what you called things you knew wouldn't work, but were hoping were  more likely than the concept was. Iterations, was another excuse well used and the 80:20 rule covered a multitude of cock-ups quite nicely too.

I've also got some old wood in the shape of mahogany shelves coming from a reclamation place. These are from an old factory, and looked lovely, battered and clearly be-aged. They should be delivered next week I think. These are a bit shallower, but I think will be OK in a Gordon Smith kinda way. Or maybe I'll put something on top, like a maple cap or a couple of mm of paint or something, who knows.

Either way, the idea with these is to maybe do a couple of bodies, hopefully something Ricky shaped and maybe an offset type of thing too, we'll have to see. Even by my standards that is vapour-ware-in-excelsis and as likely to happen as something that is never going to happen, like ever. No way Jose. etc.

Which should all be good fun, with a bit of luck.

(I do have a slight concern that I'll have a forklift truck with a couple of pallets knocking on my front door as it wouldn't be the first time I've over ordered accidentally-like.)

Next on my list is to find some router bits, and this is proving a bit of a pain. There seem to be millions of types and I confuse easy - I get kinda snow blind if there are too many options. I know I need some with ball bearings to do the spacing/follow the template, but apart from getting them from StewMac I can't seem to find anywhere that does what I want.

Or more probably I'm asking the wrong questions. I know what I don't know, which is half the battle, whereas I only think I don't know what I don't know, which has a high probability but is more of a concerny thing.

And as it happens I asked over at MR and got some triffic advice, geezer, clicked on a few magic buttons and beholden and lo, they should be here next week too.

By way of a praccy, I remembered that I had an old Strat body lay around, and using a Jazzmaster scratchplate, I had a go at routing a pickup hole at the neck. It was a nice surprise to see that the bit I was using had a ballbearingly equippled collar, and I think I got the hang of it.

In fact other than a couple of slips which damaged the 'plate rather than the body, and the moment where I forgot that the off switch doesn't actually turn the router off and ended-up juggling the spinny bladed thing, badly, I was quite pleased with it.

I ran out of time and so haven't finished it, but come Monday I think I will. I'd forgotten I had the body stashed way, might prove useful at some point. Especially next week if I am as bored as I was this week. I have a kind of yearning for a reversed BDSM One in that it could have the other Gretsch pup and a Jazzmaster pickup at the neck. So I could do that with some bronze. Hmm...I shouldn't think such things, I digress for England, me.

But the routing, and in fact the only thing that shocked me was how long it takes. It seems to go on forever. I mean, OK it is hopefully going to prove neater than my chisel, but Jeez. I see now why all those YouBaToob videos talk about drilling out a lot of the wood upfront with a funny drill bit that looks like a flag. You wouldn't be doing much else otherwise.

(I may have to dip my toe in the waters of the patient. I'm sure I have that right.)

So there we are, next week should see some more messing around with wood, with a potentially be-bronzed Strat body in search of meaning in it's life.

La la laaa

Swarming Morning

A Whole Lotta Jooky

Well, the courier did finally show yesterday, so somewhere on a motorway or in a freezing warehouse, somebody in a uniform is losing The Dust My Broom One as I type.

And I have to say, it is only since it left - or rather got packed away - that I realised quite how much I'd been playing it. It is definitely one of those walk-past-and-find-you-have-lost-an-hour guitars. It just twanged delish and plugged in was stunning.

I've also had a few enquiries about The BDSM One, which I hadn't quite decided what to do with, but in the end it is on-hold for somebody at the moment. So it may or not be gone. At least I can play that in the meanest-time.

As for new things, I'm waiting on tools for The Ronin One, which will be another week or so.

The body for The Fabulous One is still conspicuously absent, though I have some nice parts stock-piled for when it does show it's face..

My templates should be here towards the start of next week, and I have some wood to practise on, so that is one to look forward to. Bristol has a new hospital opening which could be timely

As I said, I'm aiming to make a Vox Teardrop 'inspired' body, and will put a Strat neck on it. After that, I'm not sure how it will happen, though I'm tempted to go for my usual P90 approach to noisnik-ness.

Finish-wise, I am planning to have a dark woody back and sides with a bluey-bronzed top which I think should be pretty swish and buckled of swash..

I know, I haven't even tried to make a rough attempt at a rougher body out of scrap yet, so could be accused of getting slightly beyond realities gentle boundaries, but it's all about visualisation hun, Arnold Palmer taught me that. And dreaming-the-dream is better than not having a clue what I'm going to do when I get to start, which is my default state.

Thinking of actually playing guitars, I was 'talking' to a nice chap called Edward and we kinda agreed that we always have too many guitars, and then buy another. Which got me thinking and set me off and doing a little stock take yesterday, and despite there seeming to be guitars all over the place, there are in fact only 3 that I "own":

1. My Newly Rustificated Jazzmaster

2. My Battered Gordon Smith

3. My Old Aria acoustic, which I never play as it is a bit rubbish and has a plastic back which gets sweaty. Yeurch.. Which I couldn't find to foto.

And I realised that that isn't in fact very many at all. Two that I actually play, in real terms. I don't think I've ever owned so few guitars. Bizarre.

Then there are the Jookies (which I convincingly convince both myself and the world that they aren't mine of course)

4. The Foxy Roxy One

5. The BDSM One

6. The Golden Shower One (Which has now been at the fret-fixing-chap's lock-up for six months, two weeks and three days, so probably doesn't count anymore as I can barely remember it.)

And of course the unfinished one, which may yet be filed under 'scrap wood' if things don't go to plan. Which they mightn't, it has to be mentioned..

7. The Ronin One

So no Les Pauls, no Telecasters, no Strats (as in SSS ones - I think I can safely claim The BDSM One's JMH pups as something new and unlikely), no Rickies, no Jaguars, no pointy things and not a lot else that is funny-of-shape or smooth of curvaceousness.

Yet over the last year I think there have been about 40 others that have snuck in and paraded out.

It is starting to feel like the Generation Game conveyor as far as guitars go, and I'm on first name terms with all the major courier delivery drivers in this neck-o-the-woods - they are all called Dave, it isn't tricky to remember - so I'm thinking that perhaps I could add one more to the 'my guitars' list, which are 'keepers', hopefully.

To this end, I have been looking at Les Pauls, and spotted a couple I could perhaps snaffle if not justify talent-wise, but I'm thinking I should really aim for what I really really want, my own slice of girl power and not settle for anything less.

I am worthy of it, after all.

I just need to work out what that 'it' thing is, as I don't really know.

I mean, I fancy a Les Paul, but can't imagine ever spending a grand or three on getting a 'proper' one, so then I'm looking at MIJ ones or maybe a Studio if the Gibson word says anything to me about my life (which it doesn't, thankfully, apart from that I am poor in every which and way).

A Burny is the obvious choice, but then I'd always be comparing it to The Old Burny One and Tokais, Edwards, Signatures, Orvilles, Grecos and the rest all have the same problem.

The usual response is of course to try lots until you find 'the one' and go ferrit, but I won't. Or I could of course just look for a basket case with a broken neck and fix it up, but I'd end up calling it a Jooky and waving it off all over again. So what to do.

Don't get me wrong, my Gordo is brilliant - I might swap in a new P90 as the SD Phat Cat is a bit blandly boring and nice compared to a Catswhisker Fat Moggy or an Irongear Alchemist 90, but it does the job, and I love the Gibson '57.

So what am I whinging about? I don't know really. I should just get The Golden Shower One back and keep it, problem solved.

But when has logic ever come into anything?

Heh ho

La la laaa

Jazzmasters With Rusty 'Plates, Whatever Next?

Hours of Fun With Rusty Scratchplates

Well, playing my lovely Jazzmaster yesterday, I couldn't help feel that I had hardly done right by the old thing, by, err, in general terms - generally knackering up the scratchplate when I put it on.

Don't get me wrong, I rather love it so, and I'm never one for pristine, as you may have noticed.

And the guitar itself, it sounds and plays brilliantly, so there is nothing drastic to mither about, but the 'plate was an American sized one rather than Japanese, and I ham-fistedly altered it a wee bit to "fit".

You wouldn't really know unless I pointed it out and/or you have two-working-eyes, but it niggles

It is Jooky, but Jooky for the wrong reason, if that makes sense.

Chaos without a point is anarchy, after all.

And anarchy without a scratch 'n' sniff manual is likely to be a little obtuse and only really succeed in designing a T Shirt.

Though as every revolution needs a T Shirt and let's face it a poster boy, and I'm including Maggie Thatcher in that, which is a worry, maybe that is where I am going wrong.

It is hard to say, but then I'm quite close to Wales.

Not that I'm that worried, but practicallistically, the little dially-bits at the top for the Rhythm circuit don't quite run as smooth and easy as I'd like, which is annoying as I am offish the last man in England who still uses them other than as a kill switch.

I may not be entirely correct in mentioning that.

And I did put a bit of a gougy scratch down the front of the 'plate, which is OK, but you know.

And I sort of nibbled one of the pickup holes a wee bit.

Which I don't really mind, but, well, you know that too.

Anyway, getting a nice red torty shell one to fit is a bit hit and miss, so I'm playing the long game on that.

And more to the point it is all a bit of an excuse to meddle, as the newly Mojo'd pickups make me want to play it all the time and if anything it looks too good in a lot of ways. Almost (gulp) pristine, which for twenty years old (guitars ageing like dogs, of course, 7 at a time) is almost insulting.

But I will get around to getting a new scratchplate when one pops up on ebay, I expect.

In the meantime, I have instead got a plain white one, which I was half tempted to put on in a kinda I-can't-afford-a-Johnny-Marr-Jaguar kind of way.

But then I thought, I have got a dribble of iron paint left and a gallon of home brew acid, so why not rust it, and use that until I can find a proper red one.

(I also saw a pair of old school Jazzmaster knobs on Ebay but they got to 26 quid with a week to go, so suddenly I became even more attached to my nicely time stained ones, all over again.)

So there we be, that is the plan. I could have put the original brown torty one back on, which would have been like admitting defeat rather, but then I used it as a template for my routing of the JM pup hole on The BDSM One, and rather wrecked it in the process. So that became academically silly, really.

And I prefer the red one to it, even with gouges and the odd nibbled bit and if I'm being honest, this is all because I want to see what it looks like with a rusty scratchplate and the rest is windows-dressed, as I'm sure you are fully aware.

Never simple around here.

It is just thrown together, you know.

So anyway, I roughed up the white scratchplate a bit and eeked out what iron paint I had left. I then went for a couple of acid attacks, and then once the bubbly-toxic-fumed-biz was done, grabbed the kids from the underground shelter, and basically lacquered the beejeezus out of it.

And now I've put it on my wee guitar and feel at peace with myself.

That's it there in them there fotos. With the rusty scrachplate, that looks a lot like the tortoise shell one I took off.

What do you think?

Should I try it in copper or bronze instead?

As for the rest of real life around here, the plan today was to go wood shopping, but now I'm waiting for a courier to whisk The Dust My Broom One away.

So that'll be another day of fun, then.

And yes, another 50 metres of gaffa tape.

I guess I'll just have to test my Jazzymaster isn't tonally distressed by the rust.

Very important consideration, that.

You can't be too care-filled, it has to be said.

La la laaa

Time Ronin One...

Well, I got all excited for a minute or three when the posty delivered the rather lovely and chunky 'Harmonica' bridge for The Ronin One, then less so when my suspicions that it wouldn't fit were confirmed.

So, as it was the last throw of the die, I basically need to drill new holes for the thing, after first plugging the existing ones. Which sounds easy when you say it quick.

I've had some knowledgeable advice, and it seems I need some tools I haven't got, so I've ordered them (I needed them anyway, so tis a good excuse) and so I'm back to waiting on that score too.

The other good news was that the other Gibson Marauder pickup arrived too. I love the fact they are both stamped with dates in 1978. I did wonder when I was ordering them whether they would be kosher, but to be honest who would be arsed to fake them? Bloomin' enormous looking things they are, and I'm betting they sound rather craze-filled when I get to try them proper like. I'm itching to give it a blast as it feels beautifully solid and heavy. Mainly because it is, I guess.

As for The Fabulous One, there is no more word on that either, though the trapeze bridge and neck are here, which is all good. I just need somebody etc.

As for my templature, well they should be here later this week, and I'm planning on going to the wood recycling place tomorrow or Thursday, so that will be good too.

All at a bit of a stand still then really.

And odd though it is, while I'm waiting I've been having a bit of a play on my Jazzmaster. I know I got all frothy about the Mojo pickups, and having played a few other guitars in between, it is nice that when I plug it in, it still sounds brilliant. I can just lose an hour or two and have this silly daft grin on my face for the rest of the day.  *sigh*

La la laaa

Mourning Monday

Well, back to my usual waiting-for-parts mantra, which if you say it enough lets you empty your mind and journey to the light within.

Nothing to do with anything picture

Or is that licking the wrong type of postage stamps, I can't really remember..?

I realise I'm vastly getting ahead of meself, but I spent the weekend pondering different guitar shapes. I know a teardrop and a Ricky-type of thing have headed my wish list for a long time, but I do fancy something offset as well. I can't see any point in making Strats or Teles or Les Pauls when there are shed loads of them out there already, so I might as well go with what I like, as per.

I also like the idea of something quite logish too, but we'll see. I guess it comes down to wood and where I get it. I would rather get old stuff if at all possible and make sure I get my regular dose of vitamin chaos that way.

There is a reclamation place in Bristol I had a look at before that I think I'll revisit this week. I like the idea of some old school desks or the like. The Ink Well One, has a nice ring to it.

As for this week, I haven't got any parts until they arrive (!) so I'm going to be playing with my router thing and scrap wood, I expect. Well, maybe from tomorrow as today Sick Brats Stop Play. Teach me to cook the Sunday dinner *sigh*

La la laaa

Lumbering Along

Well, I'm all a little bit excited as I've ordered myself a collection of templates for doing guitar cutting out bobbins. Including all manner of pickup routs, neck pockets (well two, a Strat and a Tele, but that is plenty) and some other fun stuff for all the family. A bit of a guitary pinata.

Initially, I'm going to be grown up and practise doing a couple of pickup routs on some scrap wood, as it is probably the first thing I'll have to do, let's face it (The Fabulous One will need a hole for my P90 for starters), and then I'll see how I get on.

Clearly that means that I will start cutting unlikely shaped bodies and then spend ages routing pickup holes, turning them into swimming pool routs, going for a fancy outline and ending up removing so much wood that it looks like one of those Steinberg headless thingies, about the size of a pack of B&H with a neck gaffa taped to it and a few rubber bands for strings..

Saying that, I am a bit happier using the router now - with the slight proviso that the fact that the on-off switch doesn't work, worries me a little, as I need a third hand to unplug it, or instead leave it on the bench/table whirring around maniacally while I do the honours. Which isn't a good thing given my past record on health, safety, paying attention and well, mental stability.

I also need to get one of them there router bits that has ball bearings on them so that they follow the template without whooshing off in different directions and trashing the joint.

I don't know what they are called but I think if I ask for such a thing in Homebase I'm sure they will sort me out. Maybe with a sun lounger or a pot of Dulux, I must admit, but even so.

But minor stuff, I'm sure. What can possibly go prickly-pear-shaped?

I had one tip, and that was that the first thing I should use the templates for is to make some working templates. Backup strategies, I understand them. The ones I've acquired are MDF so maybe I'll try and get some perspex or something more durable. Or maybe I won't. You never can tell when the sap is rising..

Anyway, the templates should be here by the end of next week I think, which is all cool.

Being an optimistic kinda chap, I have to set myself a target. I'll no doubt take a while to get there, but if I have a distant oasis to trudge toward, it keeps me going.

So the aim that I'm aiming for, is to make a body in the shape of a Vox Teardrop. Attach a Strat neck to it, a fixed bridge and a pickup or two. I'm thinking a pair of soapbar P90s, but we'll see. I am tempted to go the TV Jones route and do a kinda Teardrop La Cabronita hybrid. But that in generally termed verse is the target. Let's see how close I can get.

La la laaa

Getting Wood. It Can Take A While These Days

Some Old Wood, I Haven't Bought

Well, what can I say - the recording never quite happened due to a knackered PC, but such is life.

I think of it as a merciful release for one and all..

Instead, I've kinda got my act together a wee bit. First I sorted out some chunks of wood to chop up, and then secondly I'm hoping that I've sorted out some templates to give me a clue where the chopping should chop.

I'm not overly worried about the guitar outlines, I think I'd rather come up with my own in time, but I have been a tad wary about things like neck pockets and getting the sizes right for pickups and bridges and things like that. There seems a certain logic to it. Anyway, fingers crossed it pans out, and I'm sure I'll mention it either ways up.. I'm a talkative kinda chap, let's face it.

As for other stuff, The Fabulous One is a tad delayed, but I'm hoping The Ronin One will be somewhere closer parts-wise in the next week or so. I have half an inkling that it might fill my heavyweight Les Paul needs for a while at least. Which are distressing me somewhat since the exit-stage-right of The Old Burny One.

I've been tempted to snap up a Vintage or a Chinese Tokai or something else cheersome and cheap, but I think like the Gordo I want to get something that has had a life already that I won't be tempted to Jookify and therefore that I can keep. Easier said than done though. Especially when you are brassic.

Speaking of which, I've mooning over a couple of Les Paul Studios at the moment. Both are time-stained and battered, but the owners, quite unreasonably imho want money for them. I really think I'd be better equipped for a world of barter - I could just slip them a couple of Wild Boars and all would have been sorted. Palm in a pint of newts or something by way of goodwill.

A ho and a hum,
as Wagner used to say
was a good night out.

Ah well, I'll play the Jooky three while I can and see if I can forget yellowing neck breaks and the rest.

La la laaa

That Was The Week That Sorta Happened

Well, that were quite a productive week, that was.

I'm really rather chuffed with The Dust My Broom One, and glad that I didn't go the EMG route in the end. I don't think I'm cut out for such blatant modernity and despite sounding like a Mojo fanboi recently, the pickups are truly awesome, so no apologies for the religious zeal.. Or to the neighbours and their colicky baby. It keeps me away all night, so I'm just returning the favour in the daily-lit hours

*sniff*

The BDSM One too is a rather stunning guitar to play - I don't think I've ever played a Strat that lets you glide around the neck quite so easily. I could get used to this low action bobbins, I never thought it would catch on.

I must be getting old.

I am totally loving the pickups on this one also, The Gretsch 'bucker is excellent. Nice and twangy clean as you'd expect, but a great hot tone too I've got a matching bridge pickup which I'll have to find a home for sometime soon.

The Mojo Jazzmaster pickup, in this guitar at least, has a lot of the P90 to it, which is very cool indeed, as well as *that* darkness I've always loved.. It came as a bit of a surprise, but there is such a rich range of tones I have to say I can't really believe my luck.

I spoke to Marc about it and we're coming down to different environmental factors - the wood of the guitar, the wiring/capacitor, the fact it is raining, American primaries are on and England don't have a manager and people are still talking about Roy Hodgson - to explain the difference in sound between this and what is pretty much the same pickup in my Jazzmaster.

Don't get me wrong it sounds brilliant, just different, which is no bad thing, of course.

Whatever the cause, it has a great separation of the notes even when you get fuzzy with it that I'm loving.

Almost seems a shame to give it away, but there we are.

I did promise that whoever buys the truly lush The Foxy Roxy One will also find this in their stocking. (I think I might need to put my prices up or at least work on my far-too-visual imagery) so that is the way it has to be.

As for what is next. Well, I've given up on America and have ordered a boxy 70s bridge from Fake58 for The Ronin One. I'm a tad concerned that it won't fit, but given my lack of options I'll just have to get clever about it if my luck runs out. There must be a 'For Dummies' book that covers plugging holes and then putting new ones in in the right place.

The good news from the US of A is that the Gibson pickup is likely to come, which is rather nice. It just seems to make sense to go for the proper pups if i can.

That is for next week though, and at least I know Fake58 will deliver, which is more than I can say for some peeps.

Looking further forward onwards, I've grabbed some wood to practise my slashing and routing on and I'm hopeful of an old mahogany mantle piece to use 4Real, as we used to say in the olden daze.

I just figured I might as well get on with it as the worst that can happen is death and amputation or maybe a nice splinter to show the grand children. My plan is to go for a Teardrop outline with a couple of tasty pickups, Strat bridge and neck. But then it may be more amorphous blob with sharp bits that is more likely an outcome. I'm going to have a praccy freehand, but I'm guessing that there may be templates in my future.

If I can manage that I'll try and get adventurous later. I think that is the right direction to take though if I'm going to keep things interesting for myself, if nobody else.

Today though, not a lot to be done, so I think I'm going to try and record something embarrassing again.... No animals will be hurt in the process, however much it sounds like it.

La la laaaa

Introducing: The BDSM One

Well, I'm rather shocked and awed to be able to introduce to you, The BDSM One, a raw and twangy Strat I'm really rather proud of.

From the top - this is my 'Entry' to the 2012 Music Radar £100 Challenge, where you are aiming to produce or pimp a guitar for a £100 or less. With a little help from my friends, I've just about managed it.

But the guitar:

It is based on an old and battered Squier Strat, of indeterminate vintage, pedigree and character.

The body is solid wood though, always a bonus, and the maple/rosewood neck is decent quality now that the frets and 'board have had a bit of TLC.

Pickup-wise, there is a lovely sounding Gretsch humbucker at the neck. This was taken from a Gretsch 5120 and really does the business, from twanginess to hot and heavy.

At the bridge is a Mojo Pickups handwound/scattered Jazzmaster pickup that is immense. It is quite P90-ish in this guitar and has a great wild sound to it, beautifully raw. With a touch of reverb, this guitar is sex, end-of. Marc at Mojo gave me the pickup - one of his prototypes - and it sounds as good as everything else he scattered his magiic dust onto.

Wiring is a pair of pots and a switch I got given by Simon at Fusion - out of a Les Paul, I believe.

The trem is half a pound of brass that has been chromed and was taken from a 70s Japanese Strat copy. It really sings, I'm seriously impressed with it. The jack plate is from the same place too.

The tuners are some pre-aged Wilkinson ones, which work great and look good, and a finishing touch in the shape of some Gretsch knobs was a bit of an extravagance, but there we are.

As for the finish, the body has a lovely rough and glittery paisley, with the scratchplate being veneered with walnut burr and a bit of rust here and there for ageing perps.

And there we are, it looks great and sounds better and is a bit of a joy to play.

Cheers for the freebies to Marc at Mojo Pickups, and Simon at Fusion Guitars.

As for the £100 Challenge aspect, my updated numbers are:

Donor Squier Strat: £44.50
Gigbag sold: -£20
Squier parts sold: -£20

Body & Neck Net Cost: £4.50

Gretsch pickup: £12.50
Old '70s Bridge, Jack Plate, Claw, Springs: £10
Scratchplate: £12

Paisley fabric: £5
Walnut Burr Veneer: £1 (Ten sheets for £5, using 2 sheets " 50p each)
Finishing stuff: £12.95

Jazzmaster pickup: Free
Pots, Wire, Jack, Capacitor, Switch: Free

Knobs: £8
Tuners: £20

Grand Total: £85.95


La la laaa

Sold: The Dust My Broom One

With The Dust My Broom One, we wanted to put together a classic, yet hot sounding Telecaster of the old school. An ash body married with a maple/maple neck, gets you half way there, particularly with thru body stringing and a brass saddled full sized ‘plate.

From there then you need pickups that will deliver, and the set of Mojo Pickups’ ‘Broadcasters’ are bang on the money. Voiced to match that sound of the ‘50s yet surprisingly hot, the pickups were handwound like the old days, one-at-a-time. They deliver twang without blinking, and if Keef is more your thing, you can nail his tone too. Stunningly good.

As for looks, the back and sides of the guitar were initially treated to a right-royal rusting, before a copper and bronze top was added and ultimately despoiled. A matching scratchplate sets it all off, as do the Gretsch knobs and Fender/Kluson tuners. This is truly a stunning looking guitar that sounds even better.

One other treat is a wiring loom put together by Mojo again, complete with CTS pots, cloth covered wire and a handmade oil-in-paper capacitor.

*

To be clear, The Dust My Broom One is an utterly unique guitar, and there will never, ever, be another made. It is signed and numbered, entirely hand built and finished cooler than a slo-mo run across the pebbled beach at Portishead. There will genuinely never be another guitar like this and past experience suggests that it won’t be around for long.


To Treat Yourself To The Dust My Broom One for a rather daft £399 including a hardcase and delivery to your door (in the UK at least), Just Click on the Big Yellow Button before somebody else does. And they will..


** SOLD ***

Technical Stuff:

Type: Pam’s Baywatch Bronze, Cilla’s Copper Top, Lulu’s Rusty Iron finish

Electrics: Handwound Mojo Pickups ‘Broadcaster’ pickups, Mojo wired loom and capacitor

Guitar Type: Fender Telecaster

Construction: Ash body, Maple neck, Maple fretboard, corroded metallic paint.

Strings: Nickel 10s

Output: ¼” Guitar Lead

Controls: Volume, Tone, 3-way-switch

Special Stuff: Certificate of Authenticity, Builder Signed and Numbered, All Wrapped with our Trademark Jooky Wrapping.

Serial Number: JGE#46

RSP: £799

Introducing: The Dust My Broom One

Well, I'm pleased to be able to introduce you to The Dust My Broom One, a quite exceptionally cool Telecaster that plays and sounds dee and vine, in that order.

From the top it is an ash bodied Tele, maple/maple neck and features a ratherly stunning corroded copper and bronze top, and rusted iron back.

Tuners are your traditional Fender/Kluson jobbies, while an old Japanese Fender ashtray bridge gives all the twang you could want from the, err, thang.

The piece de la Resistance is a set of quite face-ripping '50s style Mojo Pickups handwound Broadcaster pickups. These, along with one of Mojo's handwired looms, and a rather unique Jooky branded capacitor, sound absolutely amazing.

In fact my normal font of hyperbole is dry and crumbly.

Over the last year or two, I'd come to the conclusion that the Bare Knuckle Brown Sugars and The Boss sets were my favourites as far as Tele noise-makers go. Then, with The Gypsy One, the Jess Loureiro ones I felt were as good as the Brown Sugars, which was definitely high praise as far as I am concerned.

But, I am slightly shocked to have to re-calibrate my prejudices and beliefs (ahem) as there is something extra about these Mojo Broadcasters that I think give them an edge on any of the others.

Yes, roll your eyes, and I know we all claim our latest squeeze is the best ever, but there is truly something special about the pickups Marc at Mojo is winding at the mo', that leaves me slightly smacked-of-gob.

I guess it is hard to describe such things, but there is this little spark of something that even my missus recognised.

The Jazzmaster ones were exceptional, and these are too. I almost daren't try his other wares, but no doubt will in the coming weeks and months.

Suffice to say this is a special sounding as well as looking guitar, and I'm all chuffed and pleased and verily rather proud. Didn't even burn my fingers this time either ;)

In summary, cool as funk, and if you are looking for Tele pickups (among others) I'd give Mojo a try.
oh, and if you want a cool sounding Tele, you're going to have to fight me for this one....

La la laaa.

Waiting For The Imaginary Man

Well, another day here in la-la land and I'm still waiting for the postie..waiting, waiting waiting...

While I have been doing that, and being as I have offered to give it away, I figured I might as well finish as much of The BDSM One as I can, and when the missing tuners arrive we'll be in clover.

So that be what I did and done done.

The pickups are connected to the switch, the switch is connected to the volume, the volume takes a wee diversion into the tone cul-de-sac and then pops back before making a dash for the jack socket thing.

It is like topographically-challenged-clockwork, quite lovely.

Of course I can't really tell you much about the tone as without strings all I really hear in a 'clang' when I tap them with a screwdriver - I used to have a tuning fork which was more tone-filled, but haven't got a clue where that has gone.

But in so far as you can tell by comparing clangs and the odd 'clunk' for goodly measurement, they sound well matched, so I am hopefilled about them.

Other than that, it is all back together again. And I even touched up some of the chips in the walnut veneer with iron paint so that the vile plastic beneath doesn't glow in the dark. I really should have painted in before putting the veneer on, but there we are. I wanted a splintered veneer so I can't really complain too much, as splintered and mishoven it be.

I remembered to put the Gretsch knobs on though, which is sad but makes me happy and smiley. I do in fact smile, despite the lack of post to get excited about.

Assuming the tuners do arrive I might even have it playing today. (Be afraid).

Though as the bratskis are home before the postie can drag his sorry carcass all the way up here from the nearest pub or three, tomorrow is perhaps a better bet.

I've just realised that I forgot to ground the trem.

*sigh*

Which is probably the clincher. There is always something.. Oh, and I've got to ream out the tuner holes, and I don't know where the reamer is. It is all coming back to me.

Also waiting for the postie's tender caress, is of course The Dust My Broom One, and depending on the timing of his appearance, assuming he makes one and doesn't have another dozen for the road, ending up face down in a bush sleeping it off with my parcels as a pillow, I might even get both of them sorted on the same day - which would be a first and is therefore unlikely to happen.

As firsts rarely do, of course.

Especially twice.

That, however doesn't need reaming, assuming I ordered the right control plate, so I might do that first, if I am quite honest. Which I try to be, flies with warts and all etc.

As for my other long-term-sick baby, The Ronin One is still waiting for a bridge from the US. Which probably means that there is an American postal operative off his face on gin andfunny looking rocks, hiding my parcels in his loft. I've read Bukowski. I am also waiting for a pickup too, but am coming around to using the one I took from my Gordon Smith instead as I liked it and have a low tolerance for boredom, which is odd as I am a Baggies fan..

Anyway, in other news, I'm not quite sure how, but a couple of peeps seemed confused by my little offer yesterday, so to be clarity incarnate....

If you Buy The Foxy Roxy One by Clicking on the big yellow button on this page,
I will also send you the rather crazy The BDSM One absolutely free.
Where FREE means for nowt, zilch nada and not a penny more.

So, Buy One, and You Get One Free.

Tis being as simplistic as that.

But aren't we all?


La la laaa