Cheryl Tweedy Is A Bit Needy

But she never sued me. Honest she didn't.

In fact, I have an admission to make.
It’s about the Cheryl and Amy tone amps.

Nothing nefarious or dastardly, no lawyers’ letters or anything, but there is a reason why I haven't
really gotten around to making any recently, and basically it is because they were becoming a bit (and whisper this), they have *gulp* all the makings of a product.

I mean, they all look different and there are loads of different types of tins and cigar boxes around, but fundamentally, they were all the same under the hood, as it were.

Don't get me wrong, the insides of a guitar are pretty lo-tech as well, and I'm not breaking any records making the Leona's and Kylie's, but there is a bit more scope and less chance I'll get bored.

And if I'm really honest, they are more fun to make.
More of a challenge.
I feel achievement when I plug one in
and it works.

Sad I know, you'd have thought I'd have got such bobbins out of my system years ago
what with me climbing Everest and all.

Don't get me wrong, there will be more amps at some point, but it was all getting a bit easy and so, well, that doesn't appeal.
I like to struggle
and believe me flower
I do.
I really do.

Sold: The Pink Hephalump One

Picture the scene..

You wake-up one morning still walking,
yawning sounds of Amsterdam around you,
salty fragrance of a night's excess clinging to your hair,
your clothes.

You reach into  your pocket,
pat your jacket for the shake of a matchbox,
for the McGuinn jangle of your bordello-boarding house keys,
met only with a semi-solid thump of an unexpected
lump in your jeans
pocket.

Reaching in you look around,
stragglers still trying to wipe the condensation from windows,
trying to peep at long gone

girlza 

girlza 

girlza.

Sound like they are from Dublin;
party people.

You look down at the half-forgotten lump you are
grasping in tar-stained fingers and
see the glitter-sparkle of an elephant's arse.

Smell the faint traces of vanilla tobacco,
realise that it is a Jooky little amp you are holding -
neat, little thing, it raises a half smile.

Perhaps you could busk your way home,
that could be fun.

You look around for a long gone Rickie,
then remember Paula.







Unfortunately, you can’t buy The Pink Hephalump One, as somebody nice beat you to it.

Technical Stuff:
Amp Type: Amy-Tone
Output: ½-1 Watt
Box Type: Pink Elephant Cigarette Packet
Construction: Varnished Fag Packet
Dimensions 100mm x 48mm x 15mm
Power: 9V Battery
Input: ¼” Guitar Lead
Outputs: 8-Ohm Speaker
Controls: None
Special Stuff: Certificate of Authenticity, Builder Signed and Numbered
Serial Number: JGE#7
RSP: £500

This Gun For Hire

As the regular reader will know - just ask her - the Jooky way is a meandering little path, that tends to follow the muse rather than the cash register. As such, I seem to spend most of my time answering emails that ask -

'Will you make me...'
with my own that say
'Sorry, but no...'.
Not because I'm unhelpful, just that I do this for fun, have little time and lets face it, am hardly innit for the money, am I?

It came as quite a surprise the other week then, when I said 'Yes' and indeed offered.
Not sure what came over me,
but there we go.

Which brings me to something slightly new, which is making an amp out of a cigarette packet.
New to me, I mean, Smokey have been doing the same thing for a couple of decades, but new nonetheless.

And that is what I've started and I liked the packet, hence the post, although rather let down by the photography, I'm afraid.

What you can see there is one packet that has just been painted with some gubbins that will make the card go a bit more plasticcy, and the other that hadn't then but has now.

Hopefully, it will be done shortly - the amp, and I'll let you see what delights glitter so.

Oh, the amp will be called 'The Pink Hephalump One' though what the other box will be used for, I'm not sure right now.

La la..

Too much coffee today, I fear

And now..

Well, the Paisley One is there at last, and between tweaking it a wee bit and playing it a fair bit more, it has been quite nice to get to the end of that particular, err, 'journey'.

I am soooo very Generation Zzzzz.

But, that isn't the end of things and it is equally cute to get back on track with what I should have been doing in the first place, and building some amps and effects.

To set the ball-a-rolling then, I'm going to put together a couple of Sophie's and an Amy or two. Maybe even a Cheryl if I'm feeling adventurous. I'm also plotting something new for the Cigar Box Guitar on the horizon, which will be nice.

Oh, and there is also a little Pink Elephant or two that I've got to get my head around...next in fact, but more on that anon.

But it is late,
or early

it is all
about
perspex

nitey-nite

Sold: The Shakey Spear One

All that glisters isn't gold, now ain't that the truth, but The Shakey Spear One might just be the exception to Old Bill's favourite rule. Built from a slightly battered looking Romeo & Juliet box, The Shakey Spear One is an old Warwick Bear of an amp, and not too shy about getting a bit grizzly here and there.

Featuring a delightfully twisted Amy-tone amp housed in an England’s Glory matchbox (which itself proudly proclaims that it is made in Sweden for some reason), this baby goes crazy right from the off, like some kind of Stratford-upon-Avon based go-go dancer fresh from that nightclub over Argos just off the High Street that somebody must have mentioned to me somewhere down the line as I can’t otherwise possibly have any knowledge of it.

The amp though, it is carefully crafted, entirely hand-wired and is most definitely not made by Francis Bacon.

But don’t mistake the literary heritage for a lack of imagination, no, The Shakey Spear One has a touch of the sixties about it and perhaps never recovered from a psychedelic day trip to the Isle of Wight Festival that turned into a Hydroponics  episode of a couple of decades. This trippyness is hinted at by the paisley of the speaker covering and a touch of free love, depicted by the illustration, if only it wasn’t for the balcony. And poison, of course.

The Shakey Spear One is only the fifth ever Jooky Cigar Box Amp we have made available and comes with a 9V battery and the trademark Jooky wrapping service, for a quite incredible £29 delivered anywhere in the UK.

Just to be clear, this is our fifth ever Cigar Box Amp and it is marked with the Serial Number: Jge#5. More importantly it is brilliant fun and we are quite sure that whether you or the guitarist in your life plays a Cigar Box Guitar or even a guitar that is more mainstream like a Gibson Nighthawk or something else that happens to be quite pointy, it is the amp that will be reached for most often.

SORRY THIS HAS BEEN SOLD

Technical Stuff:
Amp Type: Amy-Tone
Output: ½-1 Watt
Box Type: Romeo & Juliet Cigar Box
Construction: Paper over Wood
Dimensions 260mm x 140mm x 45mm
Power: 9V Battery
Input: ¼” Guitar Lead
Outputs: 8-Ohm Speaker
Controls: None
Special Stuff: Certificate of Authenticity, Builder Signed and Numbered
Serial Number: JGE#5
RSP: £29

Oh Well

I know I promised to let you know about the other couple of amps I’ve been playing with over the weekend, but it snowed and there are sick kiddies to be tended and well, life ain’t always my own.

So sue me.

Anyway, as I said before, the Gonzo Gonzalez has gone to a new home (or will do tomorrow anyway), which left a couple of boxes to play with.

The first of these is a Romeo and Juliet box which I’ll tell you about tomorrow, but is basically another lovely fuzzy Amy-tone with a wee bit of a twist that amused me no end.

OK, I admit it, Amy-tones, I’ve fell in love with, as they are so cool to play thru.

I tuned my little cigar box guitar today using open G (I might have that wrong, G-D-G?), which sounded great and like a Harrier taking-off from the Ark Royal in a Typhoon when I put it thru the Gonzo.

And I could have stayed playing all day, which is going some, as I am truly hopeless when it comes to playing slide.

Bleeding awful,
I don’t mind admitting.

Saying that, I am rapidly falling in lust with slide guitar all over again since I built a CBG and Amy gives it a real hell-on-earth kind of noise that you just can’t get with a ‘real’ guitar. Amazing tone, and if you are a guitarist and have never played a CBG, you really owe it to yourself to try one. Most of them are pretty cheap – just check out eBay or Cigar Box Nation and you’ll find one easy enough, or better still build yourself one. It could be the best thing you ever do.

But I was talking about what I’ve been up to, and yes the R&J is cool, but it is the green Cano one that has really got me thinking. You see, much as I love the sound of authentic – Jook joint – delta blues, and much as I believe that CBGs are the closest you can get to that Robert Johnson sound. Much as all of that is true, I have to admit that Peter Green playing Black Magic Woman whilst a member of Fleetwood Mac, was my first and defining ‘Blues moment’.

There, out in the open.

And so, despite the fact that it is utterly meaningless, I wanted to do a none-signature, tribute model for our next Jooky little amp, and so the Green one will no doubt become The Greenie One and due entirely to the fella’s imagination and out-of-phase brilliance, I want to do something a bit different.

With this in mind then, I’ve been playing with the green box and have decided to do my own version of the classic BB King (OK, Gibson) Variotone, so that it will have a nice rotary switch that lets you instantly change the tone of the guitar (well, of the guitar’s sound as it trundles thru the amp) between a variety of presets.

What is taking so long? Well, rather than go with the basic Gibson settings I figured it would be nice to pick half-a-dozen of my favourite bluesy songs, and try and find tones that match each of them.

Which is tricky.

And takes a while, I’ve found.

But there we are, it is all
Good
Fun.

p.s. I'm also building a quite mad fuzz box at the moment, which is for the guitarist in a Bristol band. More about that if he doesn't think it is a pile of shonkiness, later on.

Sold: The Gonzo Gonzalez One

There ain't much fear & loathing when it comes to The Gonzo Gonzalez One, but we can safely say that Hunter S.T. would have been proud to call this little amp his own. For lets be straight about it without any need for prevarication or artifice; this is one crazy mother of an amp, and is as likely to run naked through the crematorium on the day of your Granny's funeral as it is to give you a smooth, MOR blues.

What makes this baby the ultimate in screw-ups, is that despite the lovingly designed and hand soldered Amy Tone amp, fitting snugly and gently into an England’s Glory matchbox, with it's clean-cut lines and tendency to get a little sniffy when the pressure is on. Despite all of the hand craftedness and feel good polish, and everything else that is good and sane. Despite all this tenderness, we decided to chuck a hairdryer in the bath and wallop a crazy speedball of a fuzz circuit into the same box for good measure. And man does it make a mess.

You could feel like you are waking in a desert, so be warned.
Don't mix it with too much tequila.

The Gonzo Gonzalez One is only the fourth ever Jooky Cigar Box Amp we have made available and comes with a 9V battery and the trademark Jooky wrapping service, for a quite incredible,  £29 delivered anywhere in the UK.

Just to be clear, this is our fourth ever Cigar Box Amp and it is marked with the Serial Number: Jge#4. More importantly it is brilliant fun and we are quite sure that whether you or the guitarist in your life plays a Danelectro or a White Falcon, it is the amp that will see hair greased to a quiff, lip curled and Gonzo thrown in the back of a Thunderbird, most often.

Just don't chew too many worms.
They bite, you know?

Unfortunately, you can’t buy The Gonzo Gonzalez One, as somebody beat you to it.

Technical Stuff:
Amp Type: Amy-Tone
Output: ½-1 Watt
Box Type: Flor De Rafael Gonzalez Cigar Box
Construction: Paper over Wood
Dimensions 260mm x 140mm x 45mm
Power: 9V Battery
Input: ¼” Guitar Lead
Outputs: 8-Ohm Speaker
Controls: None
Special Stuff: Certificate of Authenticity, Builder Signed and Numbered
Serial Number: JGE#4
RSP: £29

Sold: The Snake Hipped One

There was a time when every popstar was a lizard skinned, bile spitting, static crackling, fakir swaying corrupter of adolescents.

There was a time when the dirt under the chewed fingernails glistened in spotlights as fiery fingertips pounded fretboards and Hepcat hillbillies stalked rough sawn stages, trousers of leather moulding around them, snake hipped, magnificent.

There was a time,
and then there wasn’t.

But maybe,
just maybe
it is time
for such a time
to return.

And if this is such a time-of-times, perhaps it is a good thing that The Jooky Guitar Emporium is proud to present only it’s third ever guitar amplifier, and that it happens to be known as The Snake Hipped One.

Like all of our products it is handmade and a complete one-off, and will make a fine gift for the guitarist in your life, even if that guitarist is you.

Especially if the guitarist is you.

The Snake Hipped One is built from a 1960s cigarette tin that has been covered with what we believe to be genuine Snake Skin. It boasts one of our dirty, spitting, most venomous Amy-Tone amps, housed lovingly in an England’s Glory matchbox, and plays it dirty from the off, unless you really start to make it angry, and you’d have to be a little mad to make a snake angry, in our opinion.

And we really have to say that this has got to be one of the most unusual guitar amps you’ll ever see, and as ever it is utterly unique even by our standards. To our knowledge there are only six of these tins anywhere in the world, and we have them all.

The Snake Hipped One is a perfect guitar case size and is a stripped down rocker of a practice amp, just plug in your guitar lead and play. It’s as simple as that.

The Snake Hipped One is only the third ever Jooky Cigar Box Amp we have made available and comes with a 9V battery and the trademark Jooky wrapping service, for a quite incredible,  £29 delivered anywhere in the UK for not a penny more.

Just to be clear, this is a unique, handmade guitar amplifier and only our third ever Guitar Amp and it is marked with the Serial Number: JGE#3, signed and dated by the maker and sure to be a collectors item. More importantly it is brilliant fun and we are quite sure that whether you or the guitarist in your life plays a Cigar Box Guitar or even something more mainstream like a Fender, Gibson or PRS, it is the amp that will be reached for most often.

To Become The Proud Owner of The Snake Hipped One visit our eBay Store - CLICK HERE.


Technical Stuff:
Amp Type: Amy-Tone
Output: ½-1 Watt
Box Type: Cigarette Tin Cylindrical
Construction: Leather and Snake Skin over Tin
Dimensions 85mm x 67mm x 67mm
Power: 9V Battery
Input: ¼” Guitar Lead
Outputs: 8-Ohm Speaker
Controls: None
Special Stuff: Certificate of Authenticity, Builder Signed and Numbered
Serial Number: JGE#3
RSP: SOLD

eBay - How Much Is A Despot Worth?

Well, I know we have put a price on the head of The Despotic One if you want to buy it direct from us (which would be rather nice of you as we need the money to buy some more capacitors and resistors and things), but to be totally honest, we didn't really have a clue what to charge.

I mean, on one hand it is totally unique, hand-made and a complete one-off. It has a serial number of '2', which when you think about it in Fender or Gibson terms is kinda crazy (ahem) and could mean that the amp is worth, err, millions in years to come.

But on the other, it is home made from a second hand cigar box with the electronics housed in a Swan Vestas match box.

So, its worth is probably  a matter of perspective.

To help us decide whether this is crazy cheap or madly over-priced, we figured we'd let you decide (or at least the people who notice it on eBay if anybody does.)

You can see how it is doing HERE

And if nobody notices it and it remains unsold, it'll stay here and I will continue to do my best Sonic Youth impressions...

I really don't care either way.

And, finally....

Well, yet another change of plan saw the cigarette tin replaced by an absolutely beautiful Bolivar Cigar Box, but as you can see below or in the 'Shop' we've finally broken our duck and made a little amp available to punterdom. Yep, you can finally buy one of our amps and it is The Despotic One that is out and about.

In the end we went for a complete no-frills jobbie, no knobs pretty lights or anything else, but I tell you what it is excellent to play, that Amy-tone circuit, great fun and I didn't even wake anybody up at three this morning when I was giving it some welly... Brilliant.

As for the Cheryl-tone amps, well, a minor glitch has been resolved and hopefully we'll have one of those up and about tres soonest, but to be honest I'm off to play with Amy, she knows how to make even the sourest despot lively.

Right, now does anybody know the chords to Wild Thing?

Sold: The Despotic One

The Jooky Guitar Emporium is proud to present only it’s second ever guitar amplifier, The Despotic One.

Like all of our products it is handmade and a complete one-off, and will make a fine gift for the guitarist in your life, especially if that guitarist is you.

Looking like it was the beloved of a South American Junta, The Despotic One is built in a vintage Bolivar Cuban Cigar box and is a super cool amp at low levels but a complete homicidal maniac once the chips are down.

The Despotic One boasts an Amy-Tone amp housed lovingly in a matchbox, and plays it dirty from the off, unless you really start to make it angry, when things can get particularly messy. It looks so respectable that you would never know that it is quite capable of burying your children in an unmarked grave in the middle of a forest alongside the rest of their schoolmates.

While you may not think that there will be any controlling this amp, the rather handy volume control on your guitar at least keeps it chained to planet reality. Just remember that it isn’t a fuzzbox. It won't take kindly to being stomped on, if you see what I mean. It isn't the natural order of things.

The Despotic One is a stripped down, no frills, dirty rocker of a practice amp, simply plug in your guitar lead and play. It’s as simple as that.

The Despotic One is only the second ever Jooky Cigar Box Amp we have made available and comes with a 9V battery and the trademark Jooky wrapping service, for a quite incredible,  £29.99 delivered anywhere in the UK, although the rest of the world will have to stump up for more postage and won't get the battery as we are allergic to controlled explosions and orange jumpsuits…


Just to be clear, this is a unique, handmade guitar amplifier and only our second ever Cigar Box Amp and it is marked with the Serial Number: JGE#2, signed and dated by the maker and sure to be a collectors item.

More importantly it is brilliant fun and we are quite sure that whether you or the guitarist in your life plays a Cigar Box Guitar or even something more mainstream like a Fender, Gibson or PRS, it is the amp that will be reached for most often.

Unfortunately, you can’t buy The Despotic One, as somebody beat you to it.

Technical Stuff:
Amp Type: Amy-Tone
Output: ½-1 Watt
Box Type: Bolivar Cigar Box
Construction: Paper over Wood
Dimensions 260mm x 140mm x 45mm
Power: 9V Battery
Input: ¼” Guitar Lead
Outputs: 8-Ohm Speaker
Controls: None
Special Stuff: Certificate of Authenticity, Builder Signed and Numbered
Serial Number: JGE#2
RSP: £29.99

Bugged, for the lack of a Hole Saw

Well, my little Amy-tone amp was ready to go, and all I needed to do was put it in it's tin (I had decided to use a cigarette tin for this one - absolutely gorgeous and time-stained it is) and typically something screwed-up.

Oh, the amp worked, and the tin is perfect.
The hot glue was warming nicely -
all I needed was to cut a hole.

But that was fine, and I thought  it wouldn't be a problem
after all I had bought a set of hole saws.

Lovely little toothy things that you put on your drill
cut holes
perfect.

You see I want the speaker to drop into a hole in the top of the tin.
Nowt flash, but neat, if you see what I mean.

But nope - the hole saws I had bought were only for wood and plaster (despite being advertised as 'bi-metal' and fit for purpose, as it were.)

Teach me to trust poxy eBay sellers of dodgy merchandise.

So I've got to get the right one now..

Another week gone

Blahhh.

Getting Side-tracked again

OK, I admit it.

As promised
I was getting our numero uno together,
and fixing the lights on our Cheryl-tone boxetta,
and I kinda started to daydream a bit
and then,
I started to mess around wth some bits and bobs
and then
thought
'Hang on a minute, couldn't I just...'
and then
did a bit of soldering
and then
I thought a bit more and figured
'If I just change that around I could make the Amy-tone even more filthy and fetid...'
and then

I did.

And so,
despite not having
quite finished
our very first little amp,

I've managed to
not quite 
finish our second
ever
amp.

More details tomorrow,
but man she is gorgeous in her
dirty
rotten
stinking
disgusting
scum
sucking
little way.

Gord love e'r.

Amy-Tone: Dirty Amps

Well, we spent all that time making the perfect little amp and our beautiful shiny-faced Cheryl-Tone finally came along, all pure (at least on the surface) and sure to make you proud.

And we should have been proud,
but at the back of our minds was a
lurking little boiling
hubble of a darkness
that we could never seem to
displace.

Oh, we tried to stay in the light, avoid the shadows and everything else, but we couldn’t resist the dank, dirty little charms of our Cheryl’s darker and more insidious big sister.

And so we finally just had to give in to the urge, accept that we can’t imagine a world of clean bright tones for every occasion, we have to accept that sometimes we all want a bit of filth right from the off.

With a heavy heart, although a racing of the pulse, I commend to you our ‘other’ type of amp I bring you Amy-Tone, and may God have mercy on all of our souls.

But what does she sound like?

Well, Amy-Tone is a dirty and fuzzy bitch right from the off. She is seedy, Lo-Fi in-excelsis but guaranteed to give you a good time just as soon as you plug in. A quick twizzle of your knob though, and she turns into a furious mess of fuzzy fury, biting spitting and encompassing you in her emaciated filth.

She is a dirty little secret that'll eat you for breakfast, but man it will be the ride of your life.