WIP: The Drip Dry One

Well, this not-doing-anything-in-the-holidays is going well. I've got The Blue Moon One finished, The Moulin Rouge One lacquered and in need of wiring and tuners and so obviously in this time of familyness I started on something else.

Says something about my 'productivity' and 'application' the rest of the time, perhaps, but there we are. Things you do to avoid parental responsibility.

I mentioned a while back  that I'd picked up a beautiful mahogany Strat body, simply clear coated and that I didn't really know what to do with it - as it looks too nice to cover. I had thought abot partially gold leafing it, but it didn't seem right somehow. Then I thought I should just build myself a Strat, plain and simple, but then I can't say Strats are really my thing to be honest, it's like owning a frying pan. Everybody has one, but they're not really something to get excited by. Useful for a veggie bacon sarnie, but the rest of the time hardly a thing of pride and beauty.

Anyway, In the end I decided to pretty much keep the look of the body, but do a scratchplate that is dripping in iron paint and somewhat running onto the body. This I would then rustify, to give an approximation of a melting '70s tortoise shell on wood look.

The drip drying being what I remember most about the 70s; Nylon shirts, and static electricity in your barnet. And I did a painting once of an ice cream on a cinema curtain and liked the idea.

So that is it really, gloopy iron paint dribbling around, the body being bashed like a broken Etch a Sketch to move the lines a bit, and then rustification and the crossing of fingers
.
For the neck, I've got a beauty of a flamed maple/rosewood big headstocked Fender jobby, and the pickups will be a humbucker sized P90 at the bridge and an overpoweringly hot humbucker at the neck.

What that will be I dunno. I have got a Bare Knuckle Holy Diver humbucker coming next week, but I am really tempted to try a Hot Slag, if you know what I mean. It's the kind of sound I fancy.



Saying that I've been meaning to try a Wizard 'Progression'  for a while too, and a couple of newer IronGear pups, The Blues Engine and the Dirty Torque, so maybe I'll do that here.
Who knows?

So The Drip Dry One, coming sometime, somewhere, one day in the future, but most definitely living in the past.

WIP: The Moulin Rouge One

Well, weekend I know but I had managed to lacquer The Moulin Rouge One and figured I might as well put it together...

I've still got to wire it up, fit some tuners and find where it was I hid all my guitar strings, but I think it is looking pretty cool.

 Variegated Blue/Gold leaf to the body, with slight distressingness splashed across the top.

The scratchplate is rusted iron, which I've aged with tea bags to give a darker contrast.

At the neck is a PRS One P90 Soapbar,
at the bridge a Bare Knuckle Stormy Monday humbucker..

Maple neck,
rosewood fretboard.
Graphite saddles,
CTS pots
Orange Drop caps and well,
lots of screws and I don't know what else.

No nails though, I draw the line at nails....

Of Slugs and Jookuleles

Well, as you may have noticed, I finally managed to finish The Blue Moon One, the problem with the wiring turning out to be a single wire that was somehow broken in the middle, though didn't seem to show up until every time I put the scratchplate and strings on the guitar. Wish I'd realised that before I replaced every other component, but there we are. Intermittent faults, don't you love them?

It has been an odd week in truth, and that was sorted at about 3am. Either way, it is my last paisley guitar, and it proved quite a tear filled moment. Although the bucket brimming with G&T might have helped that of course.

In other pastures, I was having a look at The Moulin Rouge One earlier too. That is just waiting to be lacquered, but I've left it for a few days to settle down. I was a bit confused to notice that the rusty iron scratchplate had a different finish in parts to that I remembered, and as I got closer I noticed there was a black lump in the middle. Most odd. Anyway, the lump turned out to be a dead slug and the change in the finish due to it's sluggy slime. Most yucky, but verily chaotic and random, so I'm leaving it and seeing how the lacquer reacts to the organicness of it's new finish.

(The slime I mean, I chucked the slug out - though it could have given me a Jurassic Park-esque mozzy-in-amber finish that could see future scientists filling the world with giant slugs, but I'm not sure I'd want that on my conscience.)

Before the tender attention of Mr. Slug

Post lacquer, the rest of The Moulin Rouge One is ready to go and shouldn't take long (the fame of such words) and I'm really rather looking forward to it, not least because I have some ridiculously massive capacitors to put in it which should be fun They look like silver fire extinguishers.

After that, I think I really am going to get down to The Old Burny One as I'm pretty much out of excuses not to Although, I did snap up a Vintage (as in the brand) Ukulele the other day, which is crying out for a make-over. It has already been christened a Jookulele which I quite sadly like. I'm thinking it might be nice as a Reso/CBG type of thing, but we'll have to see how it looks when it arrives. I think (if it is the one I'm thinking it is) that they have mahogany top and bottom and good necks etc. so it could be worth the effort to do something cool with, ahem, The Jookulele One. I might shove a humbucker in it, or maybe a piezo as it is probably nylon-strung, thinking about it as I type.

Either way, it sounds fun.

I am a bit bugged on one side of things. The pedal parts I ordered to keep me busy during the holibobs won't be here for another month-to-five weeks, which is annoying. I could use others, but for one-offs I want them to be exactly right, and so we wait. Thumbs-a-twiddle.

Wonder if I could market rusted iron paint as a slug repellent?

Sold: The Blue Moon One

It seems odd to be talking about the end of something, when so much that is Jooky is recycled, but The Blue Moon One is exactly that. It is the final paisley guitar we will ever make (at least I believe so now). That too may seem odd, we have a deep love of paisley and paisley guitars are clearly uber cool. But even we have to admit that you can have too much of a good thing.

It is perhaps fitting though, that as the last of it’s type, The Blue Moon One is so utterly gorgeous. The colour is stunning, and the copper leaf smothered scratchplate sets it all off a treat. Adding to that some jingly yet somehow still bluesy sounding lipstick pickups, a quite lovely big headstocked neck, and the fact that it is one of our favourite Jaguar/Jazzmaster designs, well. What can I say? Modesty rejects ‘perfect’, but for me at least, perfection seems pretty close.

Officially then, The Blue Moon One is an ash offset bodied, sea foam greeny blue paisley finished, maple and rosewood necked, Jookified guitar. It has a nitro finish on top of all other sorts of bobbins, Schaller tuners, Wilkinson trem/bridge thing and Kent Armstrong “Hot Lipstick” pickups.

And it is paisley. And copper, and lovely.

*

To be clear, The Blue Moon One is an utterly unique guitar, and there will never, ever, be another made. It is signed and numbered, entirely hand built and finished cooler than a night in Fats Domino’s fridge. There will genuinely never be another guitar like this and past experience suggests that it won’t be around for long.

Technical Stuff:

Type: Leona’s Groovy Guitar, Lulu Copper Top

Electrics: Kent Armstrong Hot Lipstick Pickups

Guitar Type: Fender Jazzmaster/Jaguar Style

Construction: Cloth over wood. Schaller Tuners

Strings: Nickel 10s

Output: ¼” Guitar Lead

Controls: Single Volume, Single Tone, Five-way Switch

Special Stuff: Certificate of Authenticity, Builder Signed and Numbered, All Wrapped with our Trademark Jooky Wrapping.

Serial Number: JGE#28

RSP: £499 SOLD

The Dating Game

I've always been really careful about how I date the Jooky guitars. I mean, there is very little around here that doesn't rely on a certain amount of randomness and chaosisity, but I did think that maybe having the date I actually finish each guitar written on it somewhere would be a nice thing to do. And I think I can safely say that I have signed and dated them all (or if I've missed any, it wasn't intended).

As to where I sign and date them?

The Blue Moon One
Out of Date before it is finished
How cruel is that? I ask you

Well, if they are bolt-on necks, as most have been, I tend to write in the neck pocket or on the bit of the neck that goes into the neck pocket. That's the most common. I can remember writing inside a couple of pickup cavities, but couldn't tell you which guitars. And a couple have even been scrawled on on the back of the headstock, mainly because I had forgotten to write on them anywhere else, I don't mind admitting as let's face it, who cares?.

Really it doesn't matter much, it's just one of the things I do. Can't imagine it impacts on anybody else overly. But the dates. See the serial numbers aren't always in order - they kind of get 'assigned' when I start something rather than when I finish it, so given my ability to get side-tracked whilst mid-juggle, it would be a miracle if they did follow some sort of linear path.

But the dates, they are meant to be right, you know?

Which isn't always easy, I mean if I write a date in a neck pocket, and then take a few days to put strings on, or have a problem with a dodgy connection that means I have to order a part, wait for it, get around to fitting it, attempt to fit it, find that maybe I should have ordered the right part, re-order, re-wait for another delivery, re-fit...realise I haven't got any strings, and so on.

Well, if that happens the 'end date' I've written may prove to be a touch optimistic. And so it has been with The Blue Moon One. The "Last of the paisley Jookies" as I've now started to call it in some kind of desperate attempt to engender vague interest and a modicum of faux limited-edition-ness.

But the date, of the ill-fated, much delayed guitar of mine, I notice now is rather wrong being set in wood sometime in April. When I thought I'd finished the thing for the first time, but patently hadn't. Not even close.

But I'm not sure what to do about it. Should I leave it - as nobody cares but me - or should I simply sand it off and write a more correct date? Maybe a month or two from now which I can aim for?

Maybe I should do that.

Or maybe I should be thinking more about actually finishing it and let the world spin backwards on it's own sometimes.

Maybe I should have realised that if I hadn't spent so much time trying my best to get around to organising a rough outline plan that I can later firm up, assign resource to and generally initiate, that will aim to put procedures in place that will provide the building blocks, set the goals, objectives, milestones and other topologically inspired metaphors into a correct and proper order and generally if not specifically enact the process of beginning-to-do-something rather than flap flap flap and wait, pause, ponder, complicate and in simple terms never get around to doing anything, I may well have completed the guitar a lot sooner than now, or even my randomly assigned date at some point in the future that will match that written in the neck pocket of the guitar. Although as we stand and I may have mentioned, that was months ago, and now I'm not sure what to do about it.

Did I mention the lipstick pickups, look great against the copper leafed scratchplate, and the last ever, ever and ever paisley finish?

Who am I again?

WIP: The Moulin Rouge One

Well, I managed to grab a few stolen moments before I hit the road again, and somehow ignored all my plans for these holidays (The Old Burny One, pedals and oh, looking after kids) and made a bit of a start on The Moulin Rouge One.

The Moulin Rouge One
Minus some war paint

I've been talking about it for ages, and have changed my mind a dozen times, so the current plan is:

1. A Variegated ziggy and zaggy Blue/Gold leaf finish to the body, and possibly the headstock if I have enough size left. (Which as it happened, I just about did.)

2. It is a Tele Custom sort of thing, of course, so it is four knobs to twirl and a 3-way switch to dick about with.

3. A rather lovely P90 soapbar will be doing sexy noise duty at the neck. This is my old fave the P90 Soapbar from a PRS SE One. It is of course a bridge pickup, but I like that bit of extra oopmh at the neck. It almost amazes me how often people 'upgrade' these pickups as soon as they get a PRS, but long may they be doing such things, like.

4. On loud rock noise duty, we find a Zebrafied Bare Knuckle Stormy Monday pickup at the bridge. This is a slightly hotter than PAF humbucker and one I've fancied trying for ages, and it was put it in this or put it into a Strat, so what the hell. First come, first to taste the glory of the lord, as it were. (No, I confuse myself at times too.)

5. The over-large sweeping (!) scratchplate is to be iron painted/rusted. I'm going to do this along the lines of The Rusting Nail One, so that it is moody and mean rather than shiny orange and carrot-topped. Actually, this I have already done apart from the lacquering, so all is good. Jesus loves me.

6. A fixed bridge (not sure of the proper name) complete with graphite saddles apparently. Not sure what they are meant to add, but curiosity dictates etc. But it is 'strung thru' which adds majiic  to your guitar playing elixir.

7. The neck is Maple/Rosewood and rather lovely. Can't remember where it came from as it happens, but it feels nice-in-palm, which is the main thing.

And that is about that. In fact it is going to be more of a Gibson type of thing than a Fender, but I guess the customs always were really .There is still a fair old way to go and I'll be living on scraps in terms of grabbing tender moments to work on it, but there we are. I think it will prove to be rather groovy.

Update before I finished writing the first bit thing:

Odd Camera Angle means
this isn't actually an Emu's Head

As I didn't finish this description, events have thingified again, and the body is now completely leafed with a few dribbles of corrosion twisted in for fair measure, and the 'plate is rustified too. Both need to be lacquered, and then we'll be pretty close. All of which means I'm in serious danger of finishing yet another guitar before I do The Blue Moon One. Which is silly, and whilst I know nobody really cares, even I'm ambivalent or it wouldn't be the case, it is kinda annoying.

I am well aware of the irony of my finishing guitars during holidays, and what that says about my work ethic the rest of the time. Thank you much verily.

In Gordo We Trust

Degunked, wire wooled and
Danish Oiled into submission

OK, I promise not to go on about this anymore,

mooning over some knackered old guitar

- well -

I agree that it is maybe a bit sad for a chap of such advanced age..

...but I did finish my lovely old Gordon Smith yesterday, and figured I should show you.

It has been stripped, smoothed a bit and Danish oiled.

I put a new bridge post and some Epi Casino tuners on after I broke the ones that came with it.

Fretboard got lemon oiled like a Roman god.

Slightly re-shaped one of the nut slots - brass nuts, sound great, a bitch to 'edit'.

Yes, I can't find the switch tip

Future plans:

I will probably change the knobs if I can ever manage to remove them.

I may replace the pickups or at least the neck one which is a wee bit bland.

OK, the keen of eye may notice that I've managed to misplace the switch tip somehow, but there we are.

Isn't it lovely?

Divine?


I just keep giggling.

Normal service will resume soon enough, I guess, but I'm all teenage and starry eyed, and would you begrudge me that?

I'm lurving the logo is upside down, and the Epi tuners

You say it's love?
It's the back of love...

WIP: Old Battered Gordo

Well, after a weird kind of week, I finally got my hands on the old Gordon Smith guitar I was talking about, this weekend. As expected it has a few signs of decrepidness, and I'm not totally sure what model it is or how old it is  come to that. As the serial number has long gone, it isn't likely that I'll find out either, but I can't say it matters much.

I'm guessing it was originally a single pickup jobby a GS 1.0, or maybe a Single coil plus a humbucker - a GS 1.5 - but whichever, it has had a humbucker fitted at the neck and the coil taps aren't wired anymore.

The original scratchplate also seems to have been removed with less than forensic subtlety. At least there seem to be a couple of bits left behind.

Other than that the bridge is held in place by a piece of wire, the tuners are new locking ones - or were until I broke two of them somehow and generally it seems quite sad about itself in every way, even the strings were rusty, bless them.

All of which amounts to not a lot compared to the beautiful neck, amazingly buzz free yet low action, and great sounds the pickups put out. I'm guessing one of them is the original Gordo pickup, the bridge looks the right style compared to other Gordos I've seen, but not sure what the other is, there are no markings other than a number - 025520 if that means anything to anybody.

Whatever it is though, sounds pretty good, if slightly anonymous compared to the bridge pickup which has more of a 'throaty roar' (tm) Every Guitar Magazine Reviewer In History.

Anyway, I've now stripped it down, cleaned it with some heavy duty de-gunker (the same stuff I follow my daughter around with - dirt maget that she is) and amazingly there was some wood under there. As it is well scratched and scored, and I like such a lived in face, I gave it a gentle going-over with some wire wool (XXX or maybe AAA, I forget) and have given it a well needed dollop of Danish Oil. And even the first coat has made it look glorious - despite appearances, I love natural oiled wood finishes as long as the wood has lived a bit of a life first.

Other than that, as I mentioned, I knackered the existing tuners, so am going to replace them with a set I got off an Epiphone Casino. I might get something different in time, and could get Gordon Smith replacement parts, but that isn't really the vibe for this and to be honest I can't see it as a resurrection project. Nobody is going to be collecting this one for a couple of millenia at least. And then it will be because nobody remembers wood.

I am loving it though, and before I took it to pieces it just felt like home. I already know that this one is a serious 'keeper', which is unusual for me. I do love that it has obviously had some work done at some stage in it's life too - the fact that a replacement GS logo has been put on the headstock upside-down is brilliant. And though a quick Ebay search showed somebody selling replacement - official even - headstock logos, I don't think I want to make the change. In fact everything about it just feels right to me and it is a real where-did-that-hour-go? kind of guitar

It's funny, I've been craving a Les Paul for ages - years in fact - and I've gone through every combination of objet de lust: Gold Tops, Cherry Tiger Stripes, natural wood, Juniors, Customs - you name it - and even barely finished BFGs, and I've played and tried a load over the years.

I've also always wanted a Gordon Smith, but that was always a bit of a 'I should try one, some dim and distant day' kind of thing. But when I finally do, it's mad but I just love it. It truly is everything I want in a twin 'bucker guitar, fantastic neck, great sound and battered to bits.

But there we are, I've got a beater and man I've never played a Gibson that feels this good. Sod Nashville, Viva Les Mancs, and I never thought I'd be saying that.

(Maybe if I do change the neck pickup I should give The Creamery a shout, they're up that neck o' the woods an' all...)

*** 

I went to the Bristol museum last week as it happens and had something confirmed that I have long wondered about. I was looking at the dinosaur exhibits, and in small print it said that they had been illustrated as being green, but nobody really knows what colour they were as basically you can't tell from fossils.

Now I've always been bugged that every book shows dinosaurs as being green, and had an argument with someone once about it. You see, I've always felt that dinosaurs were more likely to be running around and stomping in a variety of day-glo colours. I remember the counter argument still, 'But they would have been green for camoflage purposes' - which firstly assumed that plants were green then, which I let past, but secondly, and most obvious of all - why would you assume that dinosaurs were good at camoflage when they're all bleedin' extinct?

So it was nice to realise that I was probably right all along.

What that has to do with guitars, I don't know.

The Beaton One: And the winner is....

Well, I bottled out and left it to my son to choose as (at 8) he has a more advanced sense of humour...

And the one he chose to win the battered and time-torn The Beaton One is...

....... David Farmer, for

If I win I may commence work on a concept album telling your tale through a series of literary allegories and pop-culture music and film references featuring tracks such as:


"The Jooks of Wrath"

"The English, Patient Man who made Guitars out of Tat."

"Episode VII: Return of the Jooki"

"Jookrassic Park"

"Jooky Balboa"

"One Flew Over the Jook-oo's Nest"

"We Built this Jooky (We built this Jooky) on Junk 'n' Orts"

"You Jook Me All Night long"

"Jumpin' Jook' Flash"

and finally:

"I Would Do Anything for Junk (but I Won't Sell Tat)"

I'll be in touch, as they say at moments such as these.

Cheers to everyone that wasted their time etc.

School Holibobs Doom - Day One

Well, I still haven't got to finish The Blue Moon One. As expected the switch arrived but too late in the day to be utilised. Still, maybe this evening or over the weekend I'll get a chance. I'm starting to feel a bit Blue about it meself.

I've said a couple of times that this may be the last Paisley guitar I do, and that is the plan really. Not that I won't use fabric anymore ever and never, I'm sure I will, but I figure it is quite nice trying other things. I'm liking my rust and corrosion at the moment, and there are so many things to try as far as the gold/variegated leaf goes that it is daft to repeat myself too much. I get bored soooo very easy-like.

The Blue Moon One is gorgeous though, especially with the copper 'plate and lipsticks, and lets face it I'm too indecisive to be certain of anything, but for now this most definitely is it.

As for the summer, well, it is a definite slow down. The Old Burny One is still top of my list, and I think The Moulin Rouge one may get a bit of attention too, if I'm honest. I've also got a hankering for a P90 & humbucker HH Strat, but that should be for the Autumn really. I've also ordered all sorts of bobbins to make a few pedals, and if they ever turn up that would be nice to try again.

Today of course, I get to choose the winner of the wreck, err, lovely piece of guitarhood that is The Beaton One. I really should read the comments, shouldn't I? Maybe come 3pm I will...

It's quite nice doing a guitar you know you aren't going to have to sell. Giving it away is so much more fun. The nice thing is how many previous Jooky owners want another one (or fifth in the case of The Fat Old Man). Or maybe they just think one of them will turn out right if they stick at it long enough. Well, you never know.

I mentioned the other day that I had acquired a WIP Telemaster body from the nascent Fusion Guitars, and I have to say I've been a wee bit excited at the prospect ever since. First of all, it is basically a Telecaster in a wolfish Jazzmaster's clothes, which sounds good to me, and it will 'take' a standard Tele neck, which is even better as I happen to have a nice roseyboarded one hanging around and looking for a home.

As for plans for it, well, I fancy having another go at a rusty finish. I absolutely loved The Rusting Nail One, and I have a few things I want to try in that direction. There is also another wrinkle or three I'd like to add to it, but we'll see.

Other than that, it is, as with the beautiful Lulu One, going to have a somewhat Esquire vibe - a black pickguard at the neck. Whether I go stealthy and pop something special under the hood or not, I'm not sure. Time will tell.

At the bridge it will be all Tele though, I loved the Bare Knuckle Brown Sugar Lulu boasted, so that is an option, though maybe one  of their other ones. Or then again, there are so many to try, who can say where my philandering gaze will alight.

Bridge-wise, it will be old school Fender-esque ashtray and chrome cover, with a bit of compensated twiddliness for the modern gentleman that, well, likes to be vaguely in tune, I guess.

What is intriguing me most, is what a red cedar body will sound like. It is apparently very light and soft - so should Jookify quite nicely over time - but sound wise, well, colour me curiosity-filled. You could say the same about pine, and the Squier Classic Vibe Teles - and Lulu, of course -  sound great - so eternally hopefilled am we.

But I'm having the summer off, so it is academic, innit?

La, La and laaaa

Chisel Rage

Well, as you probably expect by now, all my plans, hopes, dreams and vague expectations fell to ashes around my trainers.

Chisel-rage-routed The Blue Moon One,
with knackered old Korg Pandora,
being watch by thankfully
working and in one piece
The Beaton One

Firstly, I would like to say that I did in fact get the Blue Moon One - now to be known as The Albatross That Is Slowly Strangling Me One - wired up, took my frustrations out on the routing with a chisel and put it all together. It looked great, beautiful in fact. The last ever Jooky Paisley guitar. I almost shed a tear.

Then I almost shed a few more when I plugged it in and it was doing a great impression of something silent, dead as a dodo and generally a bit too laid back for anybody's good.

Many hours were then wasted on rewiring, checking my resoldering of every joint until I remembered I own a Multimeter, and five minutes with that told me that the switch was knackered. Brand new, good make, yet flat-lining like a good one.

Well, I've ordered a new one and hopefully that will show up today as it all goes close to the wire again. I do feel that this guitar is just not destined to 'be'. I don't know why, it just feels like some kind of impossible mission.

That was Tuesday. Yesterday though, well that turned into a disaster too. If you remember (are vaguely interested) it was meant to be Gordon Smith New Guitar Day, combined with a trip around the fantastic light of Bristol's guitar shops. However at literally the last minute or three, 'family illness' intervened for the second time and so that never happened either. I still have the smell of NHS disinfectant in my nostrils as I type this missive.

So all in all, a complete pitta bread of a week in the end, I'm gutted about it. I still have today to hopefully sort out the BMO but lets face it, the odds on that working out are slim-to-zilch. The post won't show up with the switch before the schools are out and then I'm stuffed.

Still, Friday I get to give away The Beaton One. So that no doubt means the gaff will be turned over tonight, just to complete the joy, so you'll no doubt see it popping up on Crimewatch in artist impressionistic form.

Oh, I should add one uplifting little note for the day. When I finally got home yesterday an old original version of the Korg Pandora (PX1) was there waiting for me. Slightly battered, a good dozen years vintage, the back-lighting is unlit and the display can only be read from an odd angle, but plugged in it sounds great. Well, some of the effects sound great and the others can be tweaked, so a good half 'n' hour of jingling and jangling my way around Ghostdancing by Simple Minds and various Smiths and Echo & the Bunnies songs, put a smile back on my face. All for a bargain £3.84. You've got to love Ebay sometimes...even if the rest of real-life sucks like a Big Brother contestant.

The End of Paisley as we know it?

The Blue Moon One
I know I keep using this foto
but I haven't done anything with it since

Well, time is a running away with me, if I'm actually going to get The Blue Moon One dusted and done or hosed and in the homestead. or whatever it is I need to do before the holibob tsunami hits my quietish peace..

So Tuesday is officially Mooning day, as Wednesday is Bristol/Gordo day and Thursday is last-chance-salon day. You can see my predicament. There aren't may left.

So what has been the problem with TBMO? I know I've mentioned my shaky soldering paw, and that is part of it, but I've managed half-a-dozen other guitars while I've been faffing around not doing this. So it must be something else.

And the truth is that I've wired it three times, or maybe four, it is starting to blur.

Three times it worked anyway, but unfortunately in all cases the wiring didn't fit in with the routing which is a bit odd. Now don't get me wrong, I've measured it, and planned it on cardboard, but everytime, it hasn't quite managed to fit and it does my head in.

So I storm away and sulk for a month. All very childish, and maybe I should have just chopped some lumps of wood out of it, but I haven't - mainly because it would knacker the finish, of which I am rather chuffed and pleased, in that order.

So anyway, Tuesday - this time I'm taking a different approach that involves bandages, soap, a small pile of salt and an aubergine. Maybe even some burnt feathers if I can catch one of the magpies laughing at me thru the window. Which I probably should have done in the first place, but there we are. And if this doesn't work, well, another sulk will be in order...

The annoying thing is that it is one that I'm really pleased with. The paisley is likely to be the last one I ever do, the lipstick pickups I've used before and I know will sound great, and the Lulu Coppertop scratchplate looks amazing. The neck is a beauty too and ever the tuners are classy. It should be perfect, and yet, I just can't seem to deliver on it
.
It isn't so much the soldering that bugs me, it is the un-soldering when I bugger it up that grates.

In other news, I realised I needed a case for The Beaton One, which was daft as I ordered some last week and thought I had enough, so that was another chore. Should be here in time for next Monday's despatch anyway. Though typing that I've realised that I forgot to get one for The Blue Moon One, if that isn't tempting providence to sneak into fate's house and connect tripwires to bags of flour and buckets of tar and bundles of feathers on every door. But there we are. I might as well get one anyway.

I know that when I come to flog these babies of mine, cases makes them more expensivo, but they do seem to arrive more or less in one piece when I do, so it is a better thing.

But TBMO, it really needs to be sorted out. I have so many other things I need to torture myself over.

Traaa-la-laaa.
the End.

Of Cabronitas and Telemasters

Well, some interesting diversions coming along at the moment..

Firstly, I was really chuffed to see some fotos of a guitar put together from longterm-friend-of-Jooky Andy, the first and only chap to have a signature Jooky Guitar - The Crowley One.

Though his name isn't Crowley,
but that's just how we do things around here.

Anyway, Andy put himself together a lovely Cabronita out of a collection of parts, finished it in Nitro and I have to say I am well impressed.

I can't wait to see the blue stable-mate he is already planning...

* Sigh* I can see what I'm going to be having a go at sometime soon...it looks gorgeous.


Speaking of unplanned plans, I also came across a new Cornish-based luthier called Fusion Guitars, which as it happens is run by a cool chap called Simon who frequents the Music Radar Forums, what like I do.


Anyway, he has got Fusion up and running, and is not going the usual Fender/Gibson clone route of so many others, but instead is doing some interesting stuff around the edges. He is also a dealer for Allparts and TV Jones, which should make life simpler around here. Certainly one to be watched - you can find him on Facebook HERE.

The reason for the mention, is that I noticed he had a Red Cedar Telemaster type of body nearly finished, which for the uninitiated is a Jazzmaster outline with Tele routing/neck etc.

These were initially a kind of urban myth, but a few are popping up from Custom shops, and I have to say I've long fancied one. Anyway, long and short of it is that once it is done, it will be coming this way - and I seriously can't wait.

So much for a summer off, eh?

As for other things, the competition for The Beaton One seems to be getting some interest still, which is nice...

La la la

Sunday Morning

Battered Gordo with
unlikely upside-down logo

Well, it seems as though there are maybe one or two people out there who'd fancy The Beaton One after all - though how I'll decide who gets it, I'm really not sure. I do quite fancy a sandwich, though it has to be said...I'm a tad worried that we're attracting so many, well, strange people.

Not my style at all. (Ahem)

Of course the coming week is my last before the holibobs start, so I've got four whole days to finish The Blue Moon One before I can relax into a summer of child care with a clarity of conscience, previously unknown, assuming I manage such a  feat..

Saying that, one day of the four is ear-marked to be a whirlwind tour of Bristol's guitar shops, and there is also the teensy matter of a new-to-me, but old and battered Gordon Smith guitar coming this way.

I've wanted a 'Gordo' since, ooh, the late Eighties but it has never happened, but maybe this time it will. I like the fact it is battered too, the idea of a pristine Gordo seems wrong somehow. They need to be prole-like and agricultural, to my mind. I think what attracted me most to this one is that the bridge is a bit knackered and held together with a piece of bent wire. The logo is also upside-down, and I think it has been converted from a single pickup jobbie, to a twin-tub.You can't get better than that.

But back to Jookyland and I think I said before that the plan over the summer is to finally do The Old Burny One. A labour of lurvvee, but without any pressure. Which no doubt means it won't take any time at all, and I'll be bored out of my box before you know it. It is going to have a 23 Karat gold top, with a cracleur finish to give it that aged look. I have in fact already gold leafed it once, but wasn't happy with how it turned out, so it is stripped back to square one.

I talked before about the traditional Gibson wiring loom I got from Shugz/Hugh, which looks amazing, and the fact I've finally 'decided' to use the Gibson Bill Lawrence 'Original' pickups I managed to screw up but then fix a while back. In fact, all the parts are pretty much Gibson originals themselves. Not really sure why, but I guess I've always wanted a Les Paul and this will be as close as I'm likely to get to a Custom jobbie.

I go around in circles, I know.

Still, as ever, time will tell.

Win a Million Quid Guitar - Shocker

Well, I've been promising this for a little while, but The Beaton One is finished now and all that is left is to give it away. So here goes...

The Beaton One is a battered, psychologically damaged, beaten-up and generally well-bashed hunk of alder, has a maple and rosewood neck, and has been covered with a variety of gold, platinum and copper leaf, subjected to the humiliation of a variety of chemical drips and dribbles so that it is aged and rotted and looks somewhat tortured, it has to be said. Actually it looks more chewed in parts, but it adds to the ambiance.

The Beaton One has a Recommended Selling Price of a cool One Million, two hundred and seventeen thousand, eight hundred and ninety-eight pounds and forty-three pence. (£1,217,898.43) including post & packing, and lots of brown tape.

So as you can see this is a seriously cool offer, that quite literally is never to be repeated.

Beneath the bashed-around-the-ring surface though, is a cool guitar, 'boasting':


- Tusq nut,
- Fender Custom '69 pickups,
- Quality pots, switches, jack and vintage wiring,
- Wilkinson Bridge for three ton of sustain, and
- Wilkinson Easy Lock Tuners
- Tweedy Hardcase, Delivered to your door.

As with all of our lovely guitars, this is a totally unique, never-to-be-repeated, one-off, and comes with hand written tags, it's own 'handbook', arriving all wrapped in brown paper and string within a lovely tweedy hardcase. It'll probably still have a sticker on it with the price, but that'll come off with a bit of Fairy Liquid.

And for one lucky chap or chapess, it will be totally free, zilch, nowt, sod-all and basically a gift, delivered to your door, unless you want to pop around and have a brew and save me the postage.

So what do you have to do to get this vision of batteredness?

I'm glad you asked as I was losing the will to live.

If you would like to enter this free competition thingie, and really bug the PRS Custom players down your local open mic night, all you need do is reply with a comment on this very page, saying why I should give The Beaton One to you.

Extra marks for really weepy sob stories, general slagging off of everybody else that wants it and offers of slightly perverse yet interestingly imaginative bribes. Offers only please, the neighbourhood watch around here wear brown shirts.



And that is that. A million quid-plus guitar, up for grabs for nowt but a moment of your time, a sample of your humour.

So in summary:

- Free to enter, just comment below
- Include a name of some sort that you will recognise if I happen to pick you as the winner
- Entries must be dated/timed before 2.44pm on Friday 22nd July 2011 GMT
- No wheelbarrowload of cash alternative. The prize is a guitar, deal with it.
- Winner picked by me entirely at random or at least with whatever prejudice feels good at that particular time
- No arguing about anything, I bore really easily
- Guitar will be sent within a week using a courier that will no doubt damage/drop/send it via Melbourne
- Prize may be replaced with a different guitar if somebody buys it for the RSP in the meantime, assuming somebody reads this to a footballer or something and I haven't disappeared to South America with the money.
- If nobody at all enters, I will donate The Beaton One to science
- Can't think of anything else much to say

So let the, err, battle commence.

Introducing: The Beaton One

About The Beaton One

The Beaton One is a mashed together collection of our recent influences, using 23 Karat Gold, Copper and a variety of aged and variegated leaf across both the body and the headstock. In truth it looks rather battered all over and maybe even a touch chewed here and there. All of the damage is vaguely protected by first coats of acrylic and then nitro lacquers.

The guitar is of course based on the ‘70s  Fender Stratocaster, and the pickups are Fender’s own Custom ‘69s which are exceptionally Strat-like, you really can’t imagine. Tuners and Bridge are Wilkinson takes on traditional parts and work perfectly.

All in all, it is a unique looking and sounding guitar. Verily groovy indeed.

To reflect the sheer audacity of this guitar's finish, we're sorry to say that the current economic circumstances facing, well, everyone...means that it  is a little more expensive than has been the case with other Jooky guitars. Although, the RSP of £1,217,898.43 does include a tweedy hardcase and free delivery.

*

To be clear, The Beaton One is an utterly unique guitar, and there will never, ever, be another made. It is signed and numbered, entirely hand built and finished cooler than a pleasant night checking your odor eaters are still charcoal impregnated. There will genuinely never be another guitar like this and past experience suggests that it won’t be around for long.

Technical Stuff:

Type: Marilyn’s Gold Top, Lulu’s Copper Top and everything else we could throw at it,  really

Electrics: Fender Custom ’69 Stratocaster Pickups.

Guitar Type: Fender Stratocaster-esque

Construction: Variegated Leaf Finish to the body and headstock. Alder body, Maple neck.

Strings: Nickel 10s

Output: ¼” Guitar Lead

Controls: Single Volume, Dual Tone, Five-way Switch

Special Stuff: Certificate of Authenticity, Builder Signed and Numbered, All Wrapped with our Trademark Jooky Wrapping.

Serial Number: JGE#33

RSP: £1,217,898.43 incl. Hardcase & Delivery

Reporting Live From The Scene

The Beaton One
With a Million Dollar Smile...

Well, after the usual stuttering courier shenanigans, the Futuristic and Rusting Nail Ones finally made it to The Fat Old Man last night, which for some reason amazed me....just hope he likes them. I really miss The Rusting Nail One at the mo' - don't feel I'd started to scratch the surface with those pickups.

The Beaton One is also nearly done - new parts fitted, though a different bridge as my attempts with a measuring stick (ruler?) proved inept. Same with the tuners, but man can I ream a hole in a crisis.

Anyway, hopefully a formal introduction to that later today and then we're in business. It really is a battered old thing, but Ye Olde Fender Custom '69 pickups should make it sing. It has also been wired 'old style' and breaking a habit of a lifetime, I've actually used some Strats knobs - as they seemed to go nicely with the 23K Gold scratchplate and the Tele switch cap.

It ain't just thrown together

*sniff*

Just looks it (boom-boom)

I am really impressed with the Wilkinson Easy Locking tuners though, I can see me using them again if they are as stable as hoped. I've put strings on now and for the first time in ages not sliced a finger in the process. So The Beaton One is unblooded, not that that is a marketing triumph, claiming in all literalness that 'There's a piece of me in every guitar.' It doesn't sound quite right somehow.

You'll have to forgive the rolling-nature of this post, as I am writing and setting the guitar up at the same time, and I've just plugged the wee thing in and it sounds well cool. I forgot to polish the frets though when I oiled the fretboard, so I'll need to do that as sliding around isn't as easy as it could be. These pickups sound great though, everything you'd want in a Strat - cool.

Right, I'll do a bit more on it and get some fotos/do a proper introduction later on...

Lulu Live & Personal

Dan and Lulu - as captured by Andrea Brown

Ah, I love it when I get to see some fotos of Jooky guitars being used in public, so I was doubly chuffed when Dave, the keeper of The Lulu One sent these through yesterday.

Dave plays in a couple of bands - the rather excellent Gorman and the equally chilly cool Frank's Wild Band a Tom Waits Tribute. And you don't get cooler than that, Lulu must feel well at home.

Anyway, no more blether from me, just check the bands out and let your eyes see the glory of the coming of Lulu.

Incidentally, The first atmospherically beatified foto is by a very talented lady called Andrea Brown, while the others are by another talented happy snapper, known only as David Norris - for it is his name - of Wizards Photography.

Hopefully Dave will pop along and correct all my mistakes/omissions....and of course many thanks to Andrea and David for letting me illuminate my little site with your talented pictureness

Dave & My Lulu - as seen by David Norris

God she's pretty

Dave looking for his sandwiches

Ah, I remember 1974...

Dave counts his strings and wonders why they
are poking out of the headstock

There are a load more of David Norris' fotos on Facebook, HERE if you affiliated...