More Blather

The one problem I have with building these Jookified guitars is that I always want to keep them.

I guess this is always the way - you make things you would like yourself, but can't keep all of them as basically you have to live and having room for Lego and dolls tends to take precedence around here.

I mean, I have had lots of guitars before - which is good and informs my choices blah blah blah - but now I'm finally getting to play guitars I really like, I always have to let them go.

I have a no-keepers rule, and that is just the way it is.

There is always a tendency to make things so off the wall that nobody else will want them, but I wouldn't get away with that for long. One or two hanging around is as good as it gets.

So, after such a preamble I have to say I am loving the Siamese double-neck one, and wondering whether this could be the exception.

Just one little guitar

It wouldn't hurt

Would it?

It wouldn't
would
it?

Suicidal Sperm, Can You Imagine?

I used to play in a band a long time ago - Suicidal Sperm, you must remember them *ahem* -  and to be honest hadn't thought much about it in recent years, until I had one of those google-people-you-know moments and got back in touch with 'the singer'.

That was quite cool, 15 years on, and it is funny.

Can You Spot The Goth?

It inspired me to dig out some old tapes - not that I have any of the ones we recorded proper-like, just a couple from rehearsals, and it is funny looking back.

High points: John Peel and Steve Wright,

Low points: letting the drummer and bass player put Rush-esque drum and bass syncopation in the middle of our gloom-laden indieness.

I cringed then and still do now..

I have one of the T Shirts somewhere, though not-a-chance of squeezing into it I would have thought.
Tells it's own tale, that.

Pondering Like A Cloud

I'm still hunting around for a Tele to turn to the Paisley side, which is annoying.

Finding Strats is easy by comparison - why is that?

Do people buy a lot more Strats or do they just hold onto Teles more often?

I have to admit I don't know.

Either way, it is a pain.

I can get Affinity teles easily enough, but something a notch or two higher within my admittedly teeny budgets seem scarce.

Saying that, maybe I should just find a decent supplier of bodies and necks and be done with it - but then they wouldn't be second-hand, and I might as well just buy new guitars and pimp them..

Bleurgh.

Ing-er-lund

And I promised I wouldn't do that.

Talking Siamese

OK, I've been all-a-ponder, but I know what I'm going to do with the Siamese double-necked one that has been gazing all accusatory at me.

As I said the other day, I've taken it to bits and generally re-vamped the electronics, though so far I've left the pickups in that came with it.

Not quite sure what to do with the twelve-string ones, though maybe P90s of some sort - regular readers will recognise that that is my default position, of course.

For the six stringer side of this schizo guitar, I'm thinking something hot and heavy - be a nice contrast that way, which I guess is the point of guitars-en-duplo, after all.

So, pickups - maybe something tasty for the six stringer, and something yummy for the twelve.

Tuners, seem OK as does the other hardware and no real way of being sure until I try it. I have got replacements for the six-a-side which I might use though.

What else? Well, I need a new nut for one of them, so I'll prob get new ones for both.

As to the finish - i have two in mind.

Firstly, something groovy and cloth-like - or secondly cool and paper. I quite like the idea of another comic, maybe Viz though rather than old Beanos this time - and The Fat Slags along with Hot Slag pickups does have a nice ring to it.

As ever though, we'll see.

Like a Penalty, Sorely Missed

I think it is probably a hangover from the adrenaline rush that is due to the fact that England managed to beat a team who's best players were released by West Brom, and are suddenly world beaters on the back of it, but I needed to think Jooky today.

Oh, the washing machine now works too, always a bonus. Three weeks to get the part, but there we are.

Where was I? Oh yes, Jooky guitars.

Anyway, I've started to take the twin-necked 'Siamese One' to bit in preparation for it's transmorgifying. No pictures just yet, can't find the camera, but I think this will be fun. Hopefully. Though where it will end, I really don't know.

Here is Frank Sidebottom, singing his England song..

Sorely missed, indeed.

Like an old neck, err, chief

I'm starting to understand why I keep doing this Jooky thing, and my 'Rules' are proving to be motivational, as it happens.

Basically, I love Paisley guitars for some reason I am yet to understand.

I mean, I like James Burton, but he isn't My Hero or 'owt, and other than him I can't think of anybody else who plays one.

It may, in truth, go back to when I was a kid in the '70s and I was most impressed by a scarf thing my dad would wear when he was off for a night out. It had a red paisley lining and I think maybe that set me off.

But the motivation to make these things is that everytime I flog one - and Rule#1 is of course that I have to sell them to continue to the next - I realise that I don't have a paisley guitar in the house and then whatever else I was planning to do goes out of the window causing a hell of a mess on the perfectly tended lawns of Chez Jooky.

OK, weed-ridden, and the glass is metaphorical, or maybe allegorical, I'm not sure right now. It isn't a synonym, I know that, but it may possibly be a fable.

Whatever, I seem to have to have a paisley guitar around before I can move on.

Sad I know, just the way it is.

Pants On Fire

I know I promised myself that I would never do this as you really can't improve on perfection.

And I know I will probably be on a hit list in Arkansas when the Tele-fascists catch-up with me, but I can live with that.

Until they do catch up with me and really are intent on vio-lence.

And I understand that I'm setting meself up for a fall if it isn't uber perfecto even in a Jooky kind of way.

But there we are.

But despite all of these things, I am going to only-go-and-do-meself-a-paislified-tele.

There, I've said it.

I am going to make a Paisley Telecaster, of my very ownsome.

A Jooky one, naturally, with all the grubbiness that entails.

But a Paisley Tele nonthemore or less.

Damned am we,
as we say in the Black Country.

What changed my mind?
Well, the thought of Paisley, plus Tele, plus single bridge Bare Knuckle pickup, Esquire scratchplate and leccy-tronics, kind of appeals.

Plus I've always wanted a Fender Paisley Telecaster and have never had the money.

So there we are, I am my own Custom Shop.

No deluded grandeur, here in
The Palace of Jooky Delights
Versailles,
Portishead.

Mwahh..

Morphing Like A Morphy Thing

You may - or may not - have noticed that I've had a wee bit of a sort out as far as the Jooky site goes, and this has seen the Amy and Cheryl-tone amps, along with the Sophie's Filthy Boots effects disappear from the menus.

Sorely missed and all that.

Anyway, this doesn't mean that we won't ever make them again - quite the opposite in fact, but given that recently we've been mainly doing guitars, I thought it made sense to de-clutter, until we actually have such things available.

I am that daytime-TV-relevant, truly I am.

Instead then, the site only now shows things we are really doing, which will hopefully be less perplexing and maybe even stop people asking for them.


I've also had a wee think about what the guitars are meant to be about, and really they split into two approaches or ideas or thingies.

I like 'thingies' - two different thingies then. -

Thingie One:
Leona's Groovy Guitars: These are the paisley and velvet covered creations that are pretty groovy you have to admit. I've come to the conclusion that I like doing these and will carry on. At least for a while, so there we are. These are and will be bolt-on neck and vaguely Fenderish most of the time.

Thingie Two:
Kylie's Cool Guitars: These are the glitter, paper or comic covered ones - like The Beano One - and a couple more that will come along soon. These I've decided to christian Kylie's Cool Guitars, as they are pretty darn cool, let's face it. Obviously not named after somebody famous, etc. Not even the lass in her shimmy over there. In the main these will probably be Gibson-esque fixed neck types of things, and cost a few bob more than the Groovy bolt-ons.

There will be another section too when I finally get around to finishing some Cigar Box Guitars.

As for the amps and effects, well, they will come along sooner or later, I just want to make life easier for you all, dontcha know?

Carving In The UK

Obviously there are a lot of luthiers in the UK, and all of them are doing something quite different to me. Like woodwork or something. Few though seem to go beyond the standard forms and stretch themselves, which is a shame.

Don't get me wrong, I'm sure that they want to be totally original, but people don't often buy originality and it is a far safer bet to spend a grand on a Fender, PRS or Gibson than on a handmade one-off, as the re-sale value for most mass-produced-mainstream guitars is always pretty steady.

Bucking this trend though are The Creamery and Wes Venables, whose guitars all hit the right notes as far as I'm concerned. I'd love one of each - if I had the dosh - and so I have to press my nose up against their webby windows instead.

(Hope they don't mind my nicking their photos for this post - if so give me a shout and I'll take them down).

Vendetta 'Smaug' - Wes Venebles

It is cool though that we have people willing to do things a wee bit different. Gordon Smith guitars are fine, but there is so much more out there if you want to try something British.

Inept promotional Strategy Part 760 1/2

I've just about finished the Glistery One, and despite everything I've said before it really plays well, even with the neck being a touch of a challenge to string bend on.

(I don't mean that because it is detached as in the foto - more because of the glitter on the fingerboard. Keep up, eh?)

I'm pleased about this one, because as I mentioned before it is entirely made of other people's chuckaways. But what to do with it?

Well, I could sell it, but I covered that one before, so I'm thinking that in the spirit of such things, maybe I should give it away.

More on that soon then,
lets do just that
have a bit of a competition,
set the juices a-pace.

A Burning Hunk of a Yearning, Authentically speaking

I've been thinking a lot about Jookydom, which explains the navel-esque posts of late, and I'm starting to think that I'd like to start carving my own bodies.

Not that I've read too many horror books recently or been mainlining the Grateful Dead (Evil dead? I don't watch a lot of horror).

No I mean I would like to get some reclaimed wood and maybe a router or a new chisel and try and have a go at building something from scratch.

Which as I am inept at handiwork, kinda goes against the grain in many ways.

Don't Read This Backwards

In my ceaseless search to find guitars to play with, in a Jooky manner, I managed to come-up with something I really wouldn't normally go for, as it is a wee bit too metal for the likes of me.

The photo isn't of the actual one as I'm not that organised, but it shows it off nicely - it is an Epiphone Les Paul Studio Gothic, complete with a matte black finish and obligatory crucifixes.

All mahogany and set neck,it has that 'proper' weight about it, which means it is basically a sustain machine incarnate.

And it will drink the blood of any virgins you may know.

Which is all good, but I'm not sure what I can do with it...


So if anybody wants to trade it for a Telecaster or something interesting, give me a shout.

Saying that, I could think of something, I'm sure....
If I really tried a little.
Maybe fairy lights
or a bit of taffeta.

And then there was One. Again.

Well, the Groovy One has been and gone, like so many before.

Well, not that many really, it just feels like it.

So we're down to a stock of one guitar again, my bambino Beano One, gord bless her, so I'd better get on and do something if I'm going to justify your interest.

What is on the cards?

Well, there is the double-necked, Siamese One.
Not sure what to do there.

Then there is the de-glossing of the Vintage Les Paul.
Not really a Jooky thing that though.

Then, well, I keep meaning to do some Cigar Box Guitars,
I could get my act together in that direction,
couldn't I?

What else?
Hmmm...

Same ol', same ol'.

Something completely differently stroked

Before the flood

Well, I've finally gotten around to playing with the Vintage Les Paul I bought, and I think it is going to be fun. Not a Jooky thing really, as I'm planning to keep this a bit more trad than that, but still an exercise in pimp-ology, which should prove interesting.

Unless I completely mess it up, in which case it might go in a different direction.

In case you don't remember, what I'm planning to do is remove the sheeny shiny glossy lacquer to give it a more matte, silky finish, kind of like the recent Gibson 'Slash' models.

This is going to take a while using an electric sander with a sort of foam surface - like those green pan scrubbers you get - but will hopefully look loveable afterwards.

Once that is out of the way, I'm going to treat it to some Kluson or Gotoh tuners and nice nickel hardware, which I think look a tad classier than the original gold against the orange bursty colour.

Wiring-wise, I'm thinking the full Jimmy Page jobbie, as I've never tried to do that before and it has a plentitude of options, which will be cool.

Pickups, as ever it will be what I can, err, pickup. I had planned to use some Bare Knuckle 'Peter Green' PGs, but I think I'd like something a bit squealier, but time will tell.

We'll have to see what turns up instead.

Saying that, I've also been meaning to try the IronGear Blues Engine pickups, which I'm told sound as close to an original PAF as anything - despite being dead cheap.

We'll see though...be a while before I have to think about it, I expect.

Brothers Do it for themselves too

I keep getting asked if I will make people a Jooky guitar to their specifications, or more often as it happens, whether I will 'finish' their own guitar.

Usually in Paisley, of course,
fast turning into my trademark that one is.

So far I've declined each and every one, and to be honest I can't really see myself going that route.

It would be pointless after all, as the fun is in the ideas not the service-industry aspect.

What I don't mind though is if people buy something I've done and then change it. In fact that really appeals to me in lots of ways. I've always loved chaos theory and the practise of evolution, and the idea that somebody might change pickups or other bits, well, that is all good.

It's like a painting that changes with you over time, and I always felt that people should step in and finish a few of Monet's for a start.

I've even helped a few people who want to do the fabric finish thing themselves, as that is cool too. So if you want your guitar covered in Paisley cloth, do it yourself. it isn't hard and you'll have a lot more fun doing it than you will by throwing me a pocketful of shrapnel.

DIY is the new punk, after all, as well as the old one.

They are made of wood. Shock.

One thing that has surprised me so far about the Leona's guitars is that nobody has asked about the 'provenence' of the guitars or parts I've built them from. Now as it happens, that is good. Not because I'm worried about them being bits of junk I've picked-up - apart from the Glistery One, that is - but more because they have been pretty decent guitars to start with. That may sound odd to say.

The reason I don't advertise where they have come from is basically because the last thing I want people to think is that I sell a 'Fender with a fancy finish', if that makes sense. I wouldn't want the buyer to buy the guitar because of it's roots with all the pre-conceived ideas of quality that engenders, as it were, instead I want people to love them for what they have become...

La la la. I am sooo very up meself.

It doesn't mean though that I don't think about it. I could quite easily pick up a cheapo, rubbish plywood Strat copy, for instance, and give it a quick cover of something flashy and then flog it on for ten times the original ticket. It would be a well shonky guitar, but heh who cares if it looks OK, right?

There is no fun in that, of course, so instead i try and find decent guitars and then see how I can Jookify them. The Groovy one, for instance, was a Squier neck and body - the proper ones not the Affinity series, and then all the bolt-on-bits were whatever I laid my hands on - but again, not the cheapo bobbins I could find for pennies. Second-hand maybe, but good old 'uns.

Did it seem daft sanding off the Squier logo?
Probably, but there we are.

Tis art sugar and nobody said it had to make any sense.

Welcome To Positioning

I can't quite make my mind up about where to 'position' the Jooky guitars - the Leona's, as it were.

I mean, so far I've tended to use whatever I can get hold of and go for quality parts but not absolute top notch. Value-for-money, rather than thru-the-nose...

But then I think, wouldn't it be better to, say, buy a Les Paul Standard, slap a couple of handwound pickups in, upgrade the electronics, the tuners, nice light weight tailpiece, locking this, nickel that.

Basically, buy the best of the best and produce a top notch guitar that is then finished in a Jooky way.

Is that better - and to be honest it would simplify things for me. I could spend a grand or more on parts and then maybe make a nice profit, wouldn't that be wiser?
More controlled.
More sensible.

Or do I keep things tight and ad-hoc, enjoy that touch of chaos that not really knowing what will turn up supplies by the shovelled-clod-full.

It isn't as easy to answer as it would appear.

Dumb joke of the day

Can't remember where I found this - so apologies for no credit given - but:

A man opens his front door and retrieves the morning paper.

Noticing a snail on it he flicks it into the yard.

Three weeks later there's a knock at the door.

Man answers.

It's an angry snail who says -

"What in the hell was that all about??!!"

Product Demos....Maybe Not

I spent half an hour  last night videoing myself playing The Beano One and The Groovy One.

Not some epic production, just some little camcorder thing I've never really taken too much notice of, but I gave it a go, and there we are.

Anyway, it was a little bit sobering as, despite the guitars sounding pretty much 'gah' - that is a good gah, of course - I've realised that I'm not very good at the playing-in-tune side of things.

Maybe I should practice more.

OK, maybe I should practice.

Happy now?

I mean I've got excuses, numb fingertips, old age, blah blah & blah, but still, it was pretty sobering.

So excuse the lack of 'Product Demos'.

Indecision, Is In My Brain

Well, it's a funny thing, but even taking into account my natural state of indecision, I think it is the first time that I have brought a guitar into the house intent on Jookification without any kind of idea of the form that will take. It is the double-necked-one standing in my hallway, I'm thinking of, after a quick trip across the beautiful Severn Bridge last night to pick it up - cheers for that Rhys, btw.

So their it is, and no Big Idea (tm) already pre-conceived, defined and set in quicksand if not something more solid.

I have to say, that it does look pretty nice as it is. Couple of minor flaws - missing nut, screws here and there, knobs, not sure about the leccy bits, and all that, but the neck - necks - are straight and tuners turn and everything else that really matters is in place.

I mean, I could just cover put some strings on and fix up the leccy stuff if it needs it, but that is a wee bit boring.

No, this needs to be something different, I think.

Hmmm...

What's Going On?

Well, I've been neglecting these parts as real life takes over sometimes, so I figured a wee update might be in order.

First up, The Groovy One:

I decided to drop the price to a stunningly, bargainsome £199 including delivery, as to be honest I never quite know what to charge for these things anyway.

More to the point, I want to get on with something else and instead keep playing it - and The Beano One - which is great and fun and my Hendrix impressions have never been less painful to listen to, but does use a lot of time up that could be better spent doing something useful-like.

So save me from myself, why don't you?

Blah blah & blah.

Of more interest, I'm picking up the double neck later today - with a fair wind - and am currently deciding what to do with it. It is a six string and a twelve string beat combo, rather than a bass, so there is plenty of scope for mayhem there, and as fine an excuse to play Led Zepp as I'm ever likely to get.

I am thinking that I should call it The Siamese One, with a nod to an ex-girlfriend of mine, but we will have to see.

(I always felt bad about her, to be honest. She is a siamese twin, but dumped me when she found out that I was seeing her sister behind her back. I'm not proud of that.)

Other than that, I have a pile of Cigar Boxes that I really should do something with. A couple of sliders, I keep promising myself, and maybe even a couple of amps. I keep thinking aloud that I will make some more Amys and Cheryls, but never quite seem to settle down and do them.

Heh ho

Lust, at my age...

I know it is sad - a 42 year old, lusting after young, firm bodies, but I have to say that at the moment I can't seem to get one particular wee beauty out of my mind.

Some would call her a Plain Jane, I'm sure and OK, she hasn't got the attributes of her higher maintenance sisters, but that is part of the appeal, I think. The fact that she has limited horizons and is unapologetic about it.

Who is this lassie then?

Well, it is a Gibson Melody Maker I fancy walking out with - one of the new ones, don't mind what colour, white, black or 'bursting with sunshine.

Ah...she's lovely.






p.s. Did I mention that I'm open to trades for The Beano One or The Groovy One?
No, well, fancy that...

Chucky Counting

I probably shouldn't do this as it will no doubt jinx it all, and the world will start spinning wrongly-loike, but a guitar came up this evening,
and hopefully
I'll be picking it up next week.

What do you think?

And more to the point....

What
to
do
with
it?

I think this might be a lot of fun

Cool

In love again

*Sigh*