Babylon Begins

Well, not that I can do much with it at the moment anywaysup, but I just got some pretty pictures of the Ricky 660 inspired body I got Jezz at Woodroffe Guitars to make for me, that will end up as the Babylon Blue one.

And I do love the shape - always loved Rickies - and making it a semi with a cat's eye slash, only gets better.

Looking forward to this, especially as the neck arrived yesterday too - a lefty Tele neck, obviously.

All good stuff, if I could well, start.

La la laaaa

40 Years of Hurt - Cheers Angela

Well, even by my slackest of standards, I've been on a bit of a go-slo-mo these last days, mainly, in my humble defence because I managed to dislocate my shoulder and apparently they are useful when you are doing guitar bobbins. I hadn't thought about it before.

Not that it is anything new - this year is officially the 40th Anniversary of the first time I dislocated that same shoulder - in fact I'd like to thank Alison McCormick for all the years of pain since then, as it was she who tried to pull me to my feet by my arm, back in Mrs Wilson's Reception class in  1973, at Moor Green Infants' School, and was left holding a dangly arm. I can still remember the bus ride up Raddlebarn Road to Selly Oak Hospital, mainly as they were resurfacing it at the time and it was a wee bit bobbly.

I don't hold a grudge though Alison, but I'll always remember you. fondly.

But getting away from a Hannibal moment (and I'm joking Alison I always thought you were beautiful and felt awful when you cried) it doesn't leave me with a lot to do - I can't even play a guitar at the moment, never mind screw one up, so instead I've reverted to type and have been planning.

And the plan I have been plotting is for a little Jooky web site. Everybody else seems to have one, and I was feeling left out.

Now it won't be anything fancy, I'm not your fancy kinda chap, but I would like it to be there in some shape or other, especially if I do a few more of these custom things (HM Customs apart, I'm enjoying it at the moment) and I have this faint idea that people could make guitars on-line with weird looks to them. It won't happen, but it is good to ponder.

But anyway, more soon I guess..

La la laaaa

Pearling The Shonky

Well, a few minor injuries here in Jookyland mean mucho work is missing, but I wasn't verily happy with the way the corrosion of The Shonky One turned out, so I went back to basics and did something else.

See, even one-handed there is no stopping the slug-like progress around here.

But The Shonky One - this is a finish I've been meaning to try for a while, and it is basically a mix of prismatic and opalescent paints, to give a battered shell kinda vibe, which I think worked out quite nicely.

Still a bit more work to do on that but under the light it is verily groovy looking, even if the fotos don't really catch it.

The nice thing is that it looks more mother of pearl than momma de plastic, which can only be a goodly thing.

But that is it for now and I expect for a few days more.

La la laaaa

WIP: The Shonky One

Acid Part Deux

Well, all over the place at the moment, but I managed to sneak on forward to the other side, with the front of The Shonky One and thought I'd share with the group.

Firstly, the wee thing got a dose of bronze paint.

Once that was dry it had another, and then a spindrifting touch of fairy dust, or maybe a swirl of copper, who can say?

After that I went for a two stage acid spray to start with the corrosion, and will carry on tomorrow as I want it to look a bit layered and morose.

I'm still not sure what pickups will end-up in this 'un, but I am coming around to a Bigsby or big tailpiece after thinking I'd go simpler...we'll see though.

OK, not that much of a burst really but you can see what I meant, hopefully.

Anywaysup...cold innit?

La la laaaaaaaaaaa

First Coat

Fairy Dust Coat

Acid Part One

Scrolling Back The Tears

Staining Guitars is Tricky Business
So Brandy and Smarties help

Well, another week in paradise delayed, and I thought I'd get a shift on as far as The Shonky One goes, as it is too lovely for words.

First things to do were to drill a few holes for the wiring - I'm making a special effort here, I normally forget until I've started the finish and then get worried.

That was easy enough, and I've put three holes in the top too for good measure as I'm thinking a three-way-switch, a volume pot and a jack socket. I know it is minimal but there we are. Maybe a tone pot too, I didn't thing about that earlier. I could always put the jack socket on the edge instead.

There, simple, decision decided.

After that there was a bit of sanding to soften the edges and flatten the top and bottom and all that, which is fun. I find sanding quite therapeutic these days, and I almost feel like I know something after using a handarulic dril and sanding block. Like I'm a grown-up.

From there I decided to stain the back and sides with a nice dark oak. I've used this stain a few times now and really like it for some reason. Not as warm as your mahogany or rosewood, which is a plus at times, but I think it looks classy and I have to hang on to such driftwood when I'm struggling to keep a metaphor afloat..

That I brush on, rub back and then apply again with wire wool which gives a nice finish.

Rather than hard wax oil this time, I'm going for an ageing varnish as I want a slightly more classical look to the back, and it works well when I distress it a bit later on. When I say distress I don't mean relic, that isn't my thing really, but I like the worn look and a few dints and scrapes go with that.

That will take a couple of days of coats and drying anyway, so not a lot else to report really there.

When I do get to the front, I probably said that I'm going to have a go at doing an acid burst, which should be fun as it will involve spraying acid around rather than paint and all the laughs and fun that offers.

The top is going to be bronzed to start with, and then the acid sprayed to corrode it in a bursty manner around the edges, with less in the middle. It should work and I am vaguely confident, but until you try these things, who really knows.

Oh, if anybody from Customs is reading this - can I have my three necks, please?

La la laaaa

Scooby Snackin' In The UK

Well, I am coming to the conclusion that the man never sleeps, as Jezz of Woodroffe Guitars has sent me thru another pretty picture of what will one day be The Scooby Doo One.

As I may have mentioned before, I asked Jezz if he could make me a body based on the old Mosrite guitars, but it would be a semi-acoustic jobby with a nice slash of a sound hole at the top. And sure enough he is well on his way already with the CGI bobbins. One of the things  I wanted to do this year was some different types of guitars alongside more Jazzmasters, and with the Teardrops, Semi-Jazzmasterish, Mandolin inspired, Ricky and Mosrite angles already covered I think it is starting well. I want to get a couple of originals in there before he end of the year, but for now it is just cool not to be doing Strats and Teles, fun though  they be.

But The Scooby Doo One. Obviously this will be a leetle way off, but when we finally get there it is going to have a reversed lefty Strat neck, some kind of funky tremolo and a couple of quaintly angled pickups for good measure.

As for the finish, well it is going to be funky yet with shimmering hints of the groove. I can say no more at this juncture.

And not a damn kid or a dog in site,,,cool.

La la laaa

Monkey Hanging Cool

Well, I talked about The Shonky One yesterday and then glibbly skittered-over the other body that showed-up in the shape of a Jazzmaster with the name of The Hartlepool One.

So I'd better put that right.

Anyway, as you can see this is a sleek and sexy Jazzmaster shape, semi-acousticalified with a glorious slash of a cats-eye hole bored deep and dirty into it.

Obviously, we're going to have a nice Strat neck, all big of headstock and sumptuous of girth and I do so love my split Klusons so they may get the nod as well.

As for the metalwork at the other end, I'm going for a full on proper Bigsby and roller bridge, with the pickups a bit hazier, being either P90s or mini-buckers or something in between. Don't know really, until I have a chat with my pickup guru up there in the frozen wastes of Mojoland.

As for the finish, well I'm trying something new (for me) with this one and am going for a deep and dark colour (black, blue, purple, dunno) with added fairy dust, glammer and glitz. Not quite sure how that will go, but I really want to make this a bit of a wow and there we are. It will be distressed a wee bit too, of course, because all good things have lived a life after all.

So there we are. It won't be quick, but I think worth the wait, dontachaknowhoun, dontchajustknow...
The Hartlepool One, no well hung monkeys just an exceedingly cool guitar 2B.

La la laaa

Babylon Warming Up

Well, not only did I get a couple of lovely bodies today (stop it) I also got a pretty wee picture of what will become the body for Damo's The Babylon Blue One in the nearest of futures..

As you can see it is based on a Ricky 660, but with a lovely eye of cat hole for good measure.

It is going to have a Tele neck - lefty reversed with block markers - and probably a Ricky toaster matched loosely with a Tele rail and some sort of trendy cool flicky switchingness.

I think we can safely call this unique.

La la laaaaa

The Shonkiness Starts Here...Finally

Well, snow stopped play yesterday, of course, but somehow a sherpa got thru this morning with a couple of bodies to play with, which always puts a smile on the mush.

So I've been thinking proper-like about The Shonky One, and I think I have a leetle plan.

In case you don't remember, and why would you, I've always loved the look of the old Gibson scroll topped mandolin, and so after he did me such a lovely Teardrop or two for me, I asked Jezz at Woodroffe to do me a guitar-sized body based on the mandolin shape, and he has only gorn and done it, I'm really chuffed.

It's really nice to see your madder ideas turned into 3D and off-the-wall it may well be, but I think it should make a quite stunning guitar..

Jezz must agree as you can now buy your own from him too, as well as the Teardrops, I feel all flattered.

As for the Shonky's finish, I want something Jookily classic and so am going to stain back and sides a dark oak or perhaps mahogany, and then try something new on the top. It will be based on bronze/acid corrosion, but I'm going to try and do a burst the old fashioned way, which should be fun and look rather crazy cool in a restrained and subtle way, as I always try to achieve in everything I do.

As for the rest, it will have a Strat neck and I think a hardtail bridge, just to be awkward, while pickup-wise, I'm planning on some of the Harmony inspired 'buckers Marc at Mojo Pickups was tempting me with recently, but I need to check the measurements and all that and there is a bit of woodworking to do before I get started anyway, so there is no panic.

The other body was the semi-acousticalified Jazzmasterish body, and that is going to have something quite different I feel. The Hartlepool One is going to sparkle somewhat, it is a while since I made Hartlepool sparkle. Monkey magic indeed.

La la laaa

So Much To Thank you For

Well, I managed to get The Mysterio One fettled and what a joy to play it is. Loving the neck, loving the wiggle note bits and the sound is simply dee & vine. Tidy indeed.

I also had a little box turn up from Steve at Manchester Guitar Tech (or maybe it is Steve, the Manchester Guitar Tech) as he has given me an old Audition guitar, which is basically one of those Teisco-made 60s or 70s pieces of exotica, made in Japan sold in Woolworths. Ah, who would ever have thought Woolworths would fall before the Empire of the Rising Sun?

Not quite sure what to do with it yet - but I do love the little touches like the body shape, the zero fret and the binding on the neck. Light as a feathery thing too.

Being a helpfilled kinda chap, Steve has also given me some pointers on how best to do the finish on The Babylon Blue One when I get to it - he is the go-to-chap for Nitro-in-a-can, especially if you want all those old Fender and Gibson faves. Check him out Here if you haven't already...

In fact yesterday was a decent day in the end, with the icing sugar on the cherry on the top of the meringue, clotted cream, sponge fingers and marmite was this rather wonderful video thing Eriktheweary put together, direct from Halley Berry.

OK, Halesowen, not sure what I was thinking of there.

Anyway, he did it to tell the story so far of The Tickled Pink One's journey. Still plenty of time to spend a few bob on a good cause Here. All you need is love and all that and the kids can wear those leaky shoes for another week. Stump up time.

 

Today though - snow ploughs permitting, should see the arrival of the bodies for The Shonky and Hartlepool Ones, which I am seriously looking forward to in a pacy-up-pacy-down like one of The Duchess of York's chaps.

I can't quite remember what I was planning for either, so it is jolly good I wrote about it on here, or maybe I'll just make it up all over again. It's the best bit anywaysup.

La la laaaaa

Sold: The Mysterio One

Where do you start in describing a guitar like The Mysterio One?

Well, it is based on a Fender Telecaster, has an Alder body and Maple/Maple neck, but after that things tend to go a bit haywire.

For a start it is an Esquire, in that it has only one pickup. Nothing new there, apart from the pickup in question which was wound by the Magician that is Marc Ransley at Mojo Pickups is Hot, Hot and Hot.

Based on his usual Broadcaster this has all the tone but plenty of oomph to spread the word.

To give a few options, the pickup has been coil-tapped and Marc has put together a wiring loom specifically for this guitar that will give three great tones when you are playing. Maybe even when you aren't, it is that good.

From there we get to the finish, and man what a finish it be. The body was stained to give the impression of an old panel with the top of this being given an Abstract Expressionistic  treatment that is way and beyond a hand brim-filled with splatter. This is textured and 3D in every sense and is stunning to be beholden by.

The bridge is a Wilkinson cut down ‘Shorty’ Tele style for a stripped down look that the guitar probably needed and all in all it is a total joy.

Wondering what the metal work at the Wondering what the metalwork at the back is?

Well, it isn’t a weird Bigsby, this is so much cooler as it is a Hipshot B-Bender with Drop-D flicky switch and a G-Bender thrown in for good measure. Until you’ve tried one of these things you really haven’t lived – I am a total convert – and apart from the obvious country, this is fantastic if you are looking for textures that you can’t normally find.

All-in-all, a crazy good guitar with extras that’ll take you places you really didn’t imagine you’d ever visit.

Magical.

*



To be clear, The Mysterio One is an utterly unique guitar, and there will never, ever, be another made. It is signed and numbered, entirely hand built and finished cooler than a slo-mo run across the pebbled beach at Portishead. There will genuinely never be another guitar like this and past experience suggests that it won’t be around for long.

*** SOLD ***

Technical Stuff:

Type: Patsy’s Painted Guitar

Electrics: Mojo Hot Broadcaster, Esquire Loom

Guitar Type: Fender Telecaster

Construction: Alder body, Maple/Maple neck

Strings: 10s

Output: ¼” Guitar Lead

Controls: Volume, Tone, 3-way-switch

Special Stuff: Certificate of Authenticity, Builder Signed and Numbered, All Wrapped with our Trademark Jooky Wrapping.

Serial Number: JGE#71

RSP: £999

A Rose By Any Other Name - WIP The Mysterio One

Well, it needs a bit of a set-up, and I seem to have mislaid the middle position somehow, as it is tres diminutive, but I'm nearly there with The Mysterio One and it is really rather lovely.

As you can see from the fotos I got some strings on today, and generally it plays beautifully, so I thought I'd do a quick WIP.

The fleet of eye among you may notice that the fotos show my mistaken first attempt at the stringing where I managed to neglect to put the strings thru the right holes (the B Bender doesn't work very well when you do that - you might want to note that down for future reference), but when it is done properly, it works like a dream and sounds twangtastically groovy

I mean I'm not much of a country player, but even I can pick a few notes then bang the bar with my leg and sound like I could change my name to Dwight or Gram.

So there we are, I'll do a proper introduction tomorrow I expect.

Other than that, I had an annoying day again - one of those where people ask me to sell them a guitar, but put a Fender sticker on it first. I mean, I love Fender guitars, but my name isn't Fender and I really can't see why I would want to do that. It'd be a bit sad or desperate and while I'm both a lot of the time, I like to 'sign my work', so like it or lump it. Jookies they be.

It's not as if there aren't enough Fenders in the world already is it, and I'm sure their Custom Shop would happily take your money so stop bugging me. I'm not hurting anyone.

La la laaa

Of Burford's 'The Reefer' Sitar Pedal, Frou-ish Teardrops and Japanese Fenders

Well, this week seems to be starting as well as last week went, and so I'm really not sure how much will get done. However, following on from the joy that is The Seaside One and the still-in-need-of-strings The Mysterio One, I did manage to get The Frou Frou Fox One further along, despite the fact that I'm not happy with the neck and have added that to my growing list of guitars-awaiting-necks. It has now been wired up and has a ruffle to die for and I'm happy that at least I am as far as I can get along the road.

One thing I'm still not entirely sure about is the bridge. As you can't see, I'd planned to go for a floating one, but I'm not sure now - mainly as I think the strings will be 3" above the fretboard with the one I intended using, so I need to consider such things.

So in summary, not a lot happening at the moment until the postie gives up some parts.

Two things that did arrive last week were a nice old 90s Japanese Telecaster, which came from a cool geezer called Andy who will find The Black Russian One going in the opposite direction once the neck puts in an appearance. The Tele has been modded, I think it is fair to say, rather lovely new neck, locking tuners, plain black 'plate, funny coil-tapped rails pickup at the bridge, and I'm really liking it. I may have to swap the rails as I'm a bit old fashioned about these things, but there we are. Something to strum.

The other new arrival is a Burford Electronics "The Reefer" Pedal, which is loads of fun as it makes your guitar sound like a 60s Coral Sitar Guitar (Coral, Reefer, very impressive wordplay.) And this really is a joy to play around with, especially doing single string things and the odd drone. I dug out a scale book and tried it with some vaguely Indian style bobbins and it definitely has that sound, though it does sound like a sitar guitar rather than a sitar, but then there are only six strings so you can't expect miracles.

I'd not tried any of Burford's effects before, but £69 is dead cheap especially as it sounds better than the EHX Ravish Sitar which costs more than twice the price. Build quality is really good too. I might have to try a few more of their pedals soon. This has even stayed in the house and being used for four days now without being Ebay'd which is a new record in itself. This is where you can find Burford's effects, designed by Alan Exley and well worth a punt.

But what to do? I don't really know.

La la laaa

WIP: The Mysterio One

Well, apart from a lack of strings, I seem to have got The Mysterio One fettled and fawned like fauna in a, err, strong breeze. And I have to say that it is looking crazy good...and I can't imagine there is anybody that wouldn't concede I am at least half right.

As the spec has somewhat changed, let me talk you thru it...

From the top it is an alder bodied Tele that has been coloured to looked like a time-stained painting panel thing, and then attacked with all due ferocity with some acrylic paint. I used to paint a lot  (and sell them, believe it or not) and this is kinda a retrospective of my Dragon Period.

From there we add to the little mix a super hot, hot hot Mojo Broadcaster pickup, along with a custom Esquire loom Marc has put together that coil-tapps the pickup in one of the positions so that it is only hot, losing two hots in the process, though still hot by normal standards.

It is a warm thing, with a notched thermostatic selector switch, that is perhaps a simpler way to look at things.

All of which was pretty much the original plan (if there ever was one), but as I acquired a weird and wonderfilled Hipshot B Bender with Drop D thingy, this seemed the perfect place for it.

Now, I can see this taking a bit of getting used to, but I'm sure it will be worthy of the effort.

So all-in-all, it is nearly there now, though I am expecting to have fun-a-plenty with the set-up, and it is, after all is done saying, your run-o-the-mill, basic, hand painted Esquire with a brace.

Simple really.

La la laaaa

Sold: The Seaside One

The Seaside One is clearly based on Fender’s Classic Jazzmaster, but with a couple of Jookified twists along the way.

The body is carved from Alder, which has been hand stained a Yellow/Red colour before being finished 23 Karat Gold leaf and then hard wax oil, for a well abused look and a thin but hard finish. This really is a stunning look – the fotos don’t do it justice.

Under the hood we have two of Mojo Pickups groovtastic Jazzmaster pickups. These were wound especially for this guitar by Marc Ransley, who also came up with a top quality wiring loom for many years of eventless and glorious strumming.

A mustang bridge, classic Kluson tuners and a Fender Jazzmaster tremolo complete the picture for what is a stunning looking and sounding guitar.


*


To be clear, The Seaside One is an utterly unique guitar, and there will never, ever, be another made. It is signed and numbered, entirely hand built and finished cooler than a slo-mo run across the pebbled beach at Portishead. There will genuinely never be another guitar like this and past experience suggests that it won’t be around for long.

*** SOLD ***

Technical Stuff:

Type: Marilyn's Golden Guitar

Electrics: Mojo Jazzmaster pickups and full Jazzmaster wiring loom

Guitar Type: Fender Jazzmaster

Construction: Alder body, Maple/Rosewood neck

Strings: 10s

Output: ¼” Guitar Lead

Controls: Volume, Tone, 3-way-switch

Special Stuff: Certificate of Authenticity, Builder Signed and Numbered, All Wrapped with our Trademark Jooky Wrapping.

Serial Number: JGE#69

RSP: £999

Introducing: The Seaside One

Well, err, slight mistake yesterday, as it seems I had screws for the pickups of The Seaside One all along, and a sneaky set of strings right in front of me too, so err, there we are then. It is dusted yet done.

So let me introduce you to the latest in an ever unconscionable array of Jooky Talent, fresh from the bench if not the beach, The Seaside One, a seriously cool Jazzmaster with stars in it's mincers.

From the top it boasts an alder body, stained yellow (which to the naked eye looks vaguely red) and then gold leafed using some 23 karat gold. Shiny McGlitzy, that's me.

This has been scuffed and scarified and generally introduced to the darker side of life, and then hard wax oiled, and verily nice it looks too.

I've totally dithered between a Tortie 'plate and  an off white one, but went with the red in the end, though I really couldn't tell you why. Maybe it matched my eyes.

Other than that, a rather lovely though non-trad neck -  9.5@ radius, medium frets and 22 of them), with a Mustang bridge, Kluson tuners, and a Fender branded American Tremolo. I even remembered a couple of Strap Pins for the modern chap about town.

As ever Marc Ransley at Mojo Pickups has excelled himself with a stunningly cool Jazzmaster loom and a pair of his handwound and scattered pickups. And Christ they sound good.

And side by side with my MIJ Jazzmaster, again the Jooky has it. I guess it is the lightness of covering, but it really does sing it's little heart out. Adel Weiss, three times an hour. But maybe that is just me.

So there we are, my newest baby, golden and noisy, like a proper Jooky should bey.

La la laaaaa

The Elves and the Jookmaker or WIP: The Seaside One

Well, pukey bugs mean that there is still not a lot happening in Jookyland, but luckily the accompanying insomnia meant that I nailed The Seaside One together in the early hours, in-between...

Actually, you don't want to know what it came in-between.

Anyway, with the odd exceptions - I only had long P90 screws rather than the shorter Jazzmaster pickup ones to hand, so that looks a little strange, and I have somehow run out of strings, which is slightly frustrating - the guitar is actually done and dusted with faerie sparkle glitter dust.

And verily fine it looks too. I'm really pleased with the shade of the gold - the staining below worked a treat, and it is suitably aged and bedraggled too, which is distressing, but then it is meant to be.

So - big question, I seem to have hour long escape windows, so do I play safe and order strings on-line (the screws are already on their way) or do I risk it all and drive to the nearest guitar shop and hope I can get there and back in less than an hour and save internally redecorating the Jookymobile. (OK, it's an eleven year old Astra, but it is definitely Jookified and more to the point it is paid for and vaguely fragrant-in-a-good-way on the inside at the moment. Magic trees, can't beat them.)

So Stick or Twist?

What to do?

The Seaside One, nearly possibly somewhere close.

Think I'm going to bed now.

La la bleuurrghh

From The Frozen Filled North...

Well, normal Jooky service will hopefully reassert itself tomorrow, but I had a nice couple of boxes arrive from Planet Mojoland, which will help things along no end and to be honest, I am bamping at the chit.

Fotos by a Blind Mouse, Earlier Sometime Ago

First of all, are the TV Jones-sized Filtertrons in Hi Lo Tron-esque covers, for The Black Russian One. Can't wait to hear these in action, though a slight delay on that as when I came to fit the lovely ebony boarded neck I noticed that it was split all along the back. Most bugging. I have a maple one which I might put on to try it out, but even so...it was made with ebony in mind, and that is the way it needs to be. I am verily serious today.

Secondly, Marc has done me a Hotter than Hot-hot-hottish Broadcaster bridge pickup for The Mysterio One. This can be coil-tapped (coil-split? I forget) and so he has done another groovy Esquire loom for me, with one of the positions being the tapped/split variation on the norm. This is turning into something completely different, especially as I might well put a B-Bender on the thing too, just next to the kitchen sink balancing on the cherry on the top. Should be fun, has to be said. If I can lift it to play it.

The third box contained the loom and pickups for The Seaside One, which is a real gilty pleasure (ahem), and that too is ready to finish when I get my finger out and proud..

So along with The Frou Frou Fox One, I think I have just enough parts to finish 3 guitars, though as I have succumbed to the Bratskis collection of puke-worthy bugs it might well be next week rather than this that sees them completed.

Anyway...

La la laaaa

Burn Babylon Burn

Well, I mentioned the other day that there was another custom jobby in the offing, and I'm pleased to say that it is out of the starting blocks now and Damo will get himself a Jooky sometime soon. (I'm as keen on exact delivery dates as ever.).

This is going to be something crazy-good, obviously..

From the top it is going to have a semi-acoustic body based on a Ricky 660, though with a slash style 'hole'. The body is going to have a white over blue, seriously worn finish to it which I think will be fun, as well as a few other touches that will make it individual - not that there will be a problem convincing you of it's one-off-ness when you read the rest of the spec.

As for the neck, well an upside down lefty telecaster neck, with block inlays is the plan, which is probably a bit obvious, but I can do conventional too at a push.

Pickups are TBC but likely to be a Toaster top one at the bridge and some sort of rail at the neck. Controls are also going to be interesting, methinks.

Other than that, not sure whether it will have a Bigsby or some other kinda tailpiece, we'll just have to see on that one, but whatever it ends-up with, I can't but help be thinking that it will be somewhat epic.

And to give it it's due, that will be the lovely bonkers The Babylon Blue One, coming to Damo sometime in 2013.

I could get to like doing these custom thingies, cool.

La la laaa

Dream, The Impossible Dream

LPB JM, Like Cindy Lauper and
Acorn Electrons
Held My Heart

Well, I am a little down-at-mouth this morning, as opposed to down-at-heel on most others, but I'm going to be strong despite the fact it is 20+ years of dreaming down the pan.

And it will sound silly and daft, but it is because I managed to mis-manage my way to missing out on a guitar body on Ebay. It was a BIN too, not even an auction that I got sniped on, most silly.

So what was it?

Well, aeons ago, the very first Jazzmaster I saw was in a book. I used to trail around the guitar shops of Birmingham and they never had 3D ones. And the foto that I obsessed over (and I'm not proud of such things, no young man should spend so many hours in his room lusting after unobtainable images in magazines, let's face it) was a Lake Placid Blue Jazzmaster with a white 'plate and old school white witches hat knobs. I mean I hadn't even knowingly heard one never mind played one at that point, but it was up there with an Acorn Electron as an Objet de lust. Oh, and the woman out of EBTG, bless her. And Cyndi Lauper.

Anyway, ever since then and many, many Jazzmasters since, I've never been able to get one - old ones never seemed to pop up when I could afford them, and the Custom Shop and AVRI alternatives were oddly dearer still, so no dice.

So when I saw a Lake Placid Blue nitro finished JM body on Ebay, my heart gave a little leap. And for two days I kept looking at it and for some reason, so deep and dark a nefarious little niggle of a no reason, I didn't press the Buy It now button. I even checked the spec with the seller and measured my freezer, but still, nada.

And so this morning I woke up determined to go ferrit and fulfil that wee dream of mine.

But it had gone.

I knew it as soon as I opened the Watch List and it was down at the bottom. 'Ended' next to it, cold and heartless like a fish without morals.

Ended.

And whilst I am obviously sending this tale of tragedy in to Simon Bates if he is still alive/on radio/not been outed as a friend of Savile, as this would clearly get them weeping across the country, I still don't understand my reluctance to just buy it while I could.

Maybe it was because I had this unspoken fear that I couldn't live up to such a guitar after so many years, so many juvenile dreams awaiting crushingness, I don't know. But when it came to it, I just couldn't do it, and I think that is something that will stay with me for the rest of my living born days. I now know what sort of man I am, and it isn't a nice feeling. I don't need a mirror to see the weakness of character, paucity of spirit, or the zit in the middle of my forehead.

So looking forward, what do I do?

Do I save my pennies and visit the custom shop?

Wait in forlorn hope for another opportunity, or do I go nettle grasping and sort it out myself?

So that is what I am going to do. I'm going to buy a nice Jazzmaster body and finish it myself in LPB nitro. Then I'm going to stick it in the freezer and then the airing cupboard a few times until the lacquer crazes, and then I am going to make that guitar, my perfect, beloved, poison dwarf of a guitar and then I will keep it forever.

Because sometimes you have to be brave and sometimes you have to be selfish and sometimes, just sometimes, you have to make a stand in this life, walk the incessant talk and tell the world that this is who you are, this is what you were always meant to be and this is my time.

So help me god.

First though, One Direction were on iCarly yesterday, so I need to watch that. Apparently Harry gets ill and Gibby has to step in to hilarious effect.

So that will be The LPB One, sometime in 2013. If my bottle doesn't twitch again.

La la laaaa