Everything is Broken

You Smasha My Guitar
I Smasha Your Face

Well, not the best of times in Jookyland, I have to admit. First of all a courier manages to break the neck of my Raspberry Ripple One, despite hardcases and everything else - and I know what you are going to say about SGs and headstocks, but even so.

But then something definitely more Fenderish is my lovely La Cabronita - The B Movie One - which must have had a bit of a stomping as the top has cracked-in-transit and the volume pot has been half-buried into the body. I'm not even sure how you manage to do that while it is in a hardcase and a box.

I've got this mental image of some geezer in Totectors jumping off a pallet in a warehouse somewhere and seeing if he can manage to land buried up to his knees in well waxed Jooky.

And then The Fabulous One is coming back with a not-so-fab problem with it's neck.

*sigh*

So all in all, not verily happy about it all.

There, spleen vented. More insurance claims to enjoy.

Call me Mr Paranoid, but I am starting to think that it is personal.

Anyway, on the plus side of this mis-balanced sheet, I am rather pleased with the third coming of The Raspberry Ripple One as I've strung it up and it still plays and sounds lovely. I am however, beginning to think that maybe I shouldn't let my little Jookies out to play anymore, it's a lot safer here with me. Which let's face it, is slightly worrying.

As for other bobbins, the Jazzmaster trem-thing arrived for The Fallen One, as did some strap pins, a neck plate and some other bits I don't remember ordering. I already have a Mustang bridge, so somehow that means I am only in need of pickups and wiring, which Mr Mojo is going to sort out.

So basically, I need to make the neck pocket a tad deeper and deepen the pickup routs too as they are a tad on the light side. Oh and do the finish and put it all together.

None of which sounds horrendous if I say it quick.

What else? Well, I can get on with The Ronin One at last, which is nice, and I'm already thinking about re-working The Fabulous One with a Bigsby and a new neck if that is what it needs.

And, and...sometimes this all gets a bit complicated and I feel quite tired.

Yours, feeling slightly sorry for myself, a little tattered and torn - sparrow-like,

La la laa

DIY Waterboarding - or Fixing Guitar Necks

Two Broken Necks - Not So Much
A Raspberry Ripple as Evel Knievel

Well, the holibobs are on, so Jookyness will be limited in scope and stunted in activity, but it doesn't stop me trying.

For instance, in between serving 9 kinds of breakfast and planning culturally important and absorbing visits to museums, galleries, famous personages' birth places and sweet shops, I decided to undo the clamps on The Raspberry Ripple One and see how the neck-gluing-back-on went.

Oh, and the new Argos catalogue is out, so that was a bit of a trip too.

And first impressions are good. I had to remove a little sliver of wood, so I will have to do a bit of work there, but on the whole it looks solid and I was quite pleased.

In fact I had it going on in my head..

1. Sand the neck back
2. Fill the gap with some wood filler
3. Let it dry
4. Sand it smooth
5. Redecorate.
6. Sorted.

And it was all going well, up there in me bonce, until, that was I noticed that one of the clamps had somehow come off the bit of wood I'd used to protect the fretboard and left a lovely circular indent in the rosewood. A couple or three mm deep. Not happy. Not happy at all.

Oh how I laughed.

Maniacally.

I mean it will still be playable, but not exactly the professional look I envisaged.

So searching deep in my splintered memory, I thought I'd try something I saw my Granddad do once to get a dent out of the kitchen table, and try to 'lift' the dent using a sopping wet rag and a very hot iron.

Now I haven't tried this before, but what the hell, how bad can it get?

(As I type that I'm trying to remember whether the linseed oil I put on the 'board is flammable or not.)

So, if an iron is good, I figured a soldering iron would be better and as it was super-heated, body armour affixed and an old T Towel suitably wet, I gave it a go...

What I did was soak the T towel, and leave it on top of the 'board for half an hour. I figured it made sense to have water in there to swell the fibres or something. Don't know if that is true, but what the hell.

I had already wire-wooled it to try and remove or at least break-up the oil. Not sure if that actually helps either to be honest, as thinking about it, where I am trying to fix has already been 'broken'. But again, whatever.

Anyway once the water had a chance to soak in, I re-soaked the towel, placed it over my circular divot and then pressed down gently, almost lay on the verily hot soldering iron.

Cue clouds of steam and a satisfying sizzle.

Anyway, I repeated the soak and sizzle for fifteen minutes before I got bored, then I stopped.

As for the result, well originally it was a good couple of mm deep, but now it feels flat to the touch, which is quite a turn-around. There is still a semi-circular mark on the 'board which doesn't want to shift, but that is OK, you can't really notice it unless you are looking and I'll claim it as a PRS moon thing, so that is cool.

Finally then, I gave it another go with some wirewool and after it had dried I re-oiled it, and problem solved methinks.

Lovely.

Now that that was out of the way, I got on with my sanding-filling-finishing of the back of the neck.

And as I forgot to post this earlier, I got on with it quite well, as it happens and as you can probably see it is all done bar the drying and looks rather nice indeed. It is covered in lacquer, so I'll leave it until tomorrow to put some strings on and see if a flying headstock removes an eye or breaks a nose...

La la laaa

Jookies can now come with, err, Moons

A bit of Tea Towel Waterboarding

And There It Was Gone

Raspberries and Fallen Walnuts

Raspberry Ripple - Maybe The Name Was Pushing It?

Well, a while back, if you remember, I had a bit of a disaster with The Raspberry Ripple One, as despite hardcases and everything else, the neck got broken on the way to it's new home.

Anyway, insurance shenanigans have run their course and so it has come back to me...once again all tattered and torn

Now, the sensible thing would probably be to strip the parts and chuck it away, but that isn't really my thing, so instead I'm going to glue the neck and then see if I can think of something cool to do with it.

Play it even, maybe..who knows.

The sad thing was despite being an Epiphone, once it had been totally upgraded, it was one of the nicest SGs I've ever played. The Seymour Duncan Phat Cat sounded brilliant in it (as opposed to shonky when it was in my Gordo) and the Gibson 57 Classic is just sweet, but there we are.

Anyway, no time like the present so as you can't see (as I forgot to take any fotos on the way) I've cleaned up the break a bit and glued and clamped for the second time this week.

Fallen Yet Still Only Plonked Together

I must be getting cocky about this as I didn't go thru the usual avoidance and angst stages. Not that I particularly want to become expert in fixing necks, it isn't a good sign of anything useful,  after all.

So, once the glue has dried, I'll sand it back and I might as well refinish the neck too. Got to show willing and all, dontcha know.

Other than that, I've been collecting the bits for The Fallen One, so I thought I'd do a quick plonk together. I've gone for one of Mr Mojo's Jazzmaster pickup sets and a wiring loom too, so I know it will sound fantastic.Can't remember if I said, but the body is ash with a nice walnut veneer, and the usual maple/rosewood Jazzmaster neck gets a Jooky twirl as it is reverse of headstock. Or maybe a Lefty downside-up. I can't remember.

Despite how it looks, the body actually needs a fair bit of work, so it won't be a quick one to do, but it already has that Elvis Costello vibe, which is cool. I'll probably stain it a bit darker and maybe even give it a thin coat of nitro - but there be woodwork to do before I worry about that, so gord knows what state it will be in after that.

But, it is the last day of freedom and unfortunately, I won't finish anything else today.

The B Movie One is off to a new home (couriers permitting) and I will be sad to see that go as it really is quite beautiful and the P90s are uber sexual in excelsis. However it will be making it's gigging debut on Saturday - more details on that to follow.

La la laaaa

Hunting and a Gathering Virtually

The Jobo One - A Telemaster on a bed of paisley pink

Well, somehow The Raspberry Ripple One gone and got fettled, I'm still not quite sure how, and to play it is to lurve it. Well, I think so anyway.

In fact, a small plea - PLEASE DON'T BUY IT.

There, that was subtle.

But anyway, where was I? Well, obviously the rest of the weekend is going to be Jubilicious as I am the Queen's #1 fan and all, but it doesn't stop me thinking about what happens next, and so I have been. So lock me in the bloody tower, seef I care.

With holibobs once more precluding woodwork, it is The JoBo One I'm aiming to do over the next couple of weeks. As it happens I'm a bit light in the parts department, but I have the Telemaster body, I have pink paisley and I have various lots of gubbins. After that, well, I need all the other parts.

Still, the hunter-gathering is half of the fun, and my current shopping list reads:

1. A neck. I'm thinking maple/maple for the twang is the thang,

2. A bridge. It has to be a full monty Tele one I fear, all brass saddles and steel of plate,

3. Control plate. I've actually got a Mojo harness already, so I just need the plate and knobs,

4. Scratchplate, I'll have to make that. Luckily Simon included some plastic gubbins for me to use,

5. Pickups. I am a bit undecided on these. On one hand I fancy doing an Esquire with a Mojo Broadcaster at the bridge. Actually, that sounds good. On the other I could maybe find a TV Jones or PAF and put it at the neck. Dunno, can't decide really, but time will tell.

6. Tuners. I really like Grovers at the moment, so I'm going for a set of those.

7. Screws, strap pins, and other bits 'n bobbins.

Hmmm, sounds quite a list. Still, all good fun.

La la laaa

Sold: The Raspberry Ripple One

The Raspberry Ripple One arrived in Jookyland all tattered and torn. Its neck was broken and all it’s body parts had been snatched. It could have felt sorry for itself, we could have felt sorry for it, but an inner strength appeared like a scene in Rocky 14.9 and to be quite honest we all got a bit of the eye of the tiger, rolled-up, rolled-up our sleeves and got on with it.

Starting with the neck, as it happens it was an easy thing to put right. Titebond glue and an assortment of clamps and Bob was our Aunt and things got strange at our cousin’s parent evening.

From there, bronze and copper enriched paints gave it a top-to-toe tan. It felt quite Essex, even more so when we started splashing our home brew acid in it’s face.

After that was done and dusted, we moved onto hardware, Grover tuners are rock solid, so blam, in they went.

A cheeky wiring loom came direct from a Gibson SG, and was poignantly joined with a Gibson ’57 Classic humbucker at the neck and a Seymour Duncan Phat Cat P90 at the bridge. And man do they rock.

If The Who really did “Live in Leeds” (and believe me I went thru all the fone books, they don’t) this SG would have nailed the tone. I don’t know where Robbie Krieger and Angus Young live either, but they would feel at home too.

All in all, this is a stunningly pimped guitar, which proves that rags to riches tales aren’t just for Hollywood. Tom Hanks couldn’t even spoil this one.

*

To be clear, The Raspberry Ripple One is an utterly unique guitar, and there will never, ever, be another made. It is signed and numbered, entirely hand built and finished cooler than a slo-mo run across the pebbled beach at Portishead. There will genuinely never be another guitar like this and past experience suggests that it won’t be around for long.

*** SOLD ***

Technical Stuff:

Type: Pam’s Baywatch Bronze, Lulu’s Copper Top

Electrics: Gibson Classic ’57, SD Phat Cat P90

Guitar Type: Gibson SG

Construction: Mahogany Bod, mahogany/rosewood neck, Corroded Copper/Bronze Finish

Strings: Nickel 10s

Output: ¼” Guitar Lead

Controls: Volume, Tone

Special Stuff: Certificate of Authenticity, Builder Signed and Numbered, All Wrapped with our Trademark Jooky Wrapping.

Serial Number: JGE#54

RSP: £799

So Very Nearly, So Very Muchly Not

Well, I have to say today has been kinda frustrating. Nowt has been as simple as it should, every screw head has broken off or rounded, I've demolished a chunk of the stairs with my nose and when I've come to put The Raspberry Ripple One together, it has been like honey trekking. Most annoyingly slow of going.

But despite all the having to trim scratchplates, ream holes, burn holes in the kitchen table and play hunt-the-brown-spring-on-the-brown carpet, it has somehow come together and turned into a guitar. In fact it looks very nice and all that is left to do is a couple of blobs of solder and to put some strings on.

Obviously, that was the point when I remembered the Jubilee party at the bratskis school, so it is still unsoldered thanks to Britannia ruling the waves and calls to get us all to crush rebellious Scots or something.

Actually, that was the National Anthem, wasn't it?

Anyway, I'm hoping that I will get a chance to do that last thingy later and just about hit me deadest-of-lines and have something new to play over the holibobs.

I do of course have a pickup-less Gordo now, which I'll have to think about, but there we be.

Speaking of thinking, I've been having a ponder at the stash I got from Simon, and I am verily tempted to use the Telemaster body for The Jobo One. I just think it could look super cool in pink paisley with touches of corrosion to set it off, and I'll always use the Tele body when it finally arrives anyway. Maybe even with that mythical walnut burr laminated on top So the telemaster - it just seems a shame to leave it there doing nowt much at all, after all.

So that is the new plan - The Jobo One is going to be a Telemaster. Sorted.

Must buy some grain filler, among well, everything else I've run out of.

La la laaa

Whole Lotta Wood

Well, what can I say apart from taverymuch to young Simon of Fusion fame, for delivering lots of woody goodness, which I hasten to mention came in the shape of some guitar bodies and blanks, and planks and templates and gord knows what else. Thought I'd better explain that in case you thought he was pushing little blue tablets or something.

From the top then, you can hopefully see a rather delish Strat body, and a flat-Strat type of thing and another of his stunningly cool Telemaster bodies and a lovely chunk of Tele-shaped ash.. All of which should keep me busy for weeks to come and no doubt delay wood-chopping-from-scratch even more, but there we are. At least there is a ton of wood to chop now when I do eventually  get my act together.. Nowhere to sleep, but plentitudal woodyness.

Other than that, only the scratchplate arrived for The Raspberry Ripple One so it is fingers-crissed for the day's post being more complete and that I'll be able to finish and have a guitar to play this weekend. (I have my Jazzymaster, of course, but not a lot else now that I've disemboweled my Gordo. *sigh*)

But walking on the bright side of the road, I have at least got the Raspberry scratchplate, so I can put the pickups in it and get it wired if nothing else, and the rest is handraulically mechanical so I can fit that in easily enough even if it isn't done today. But I hope it will be, as I really want to play this lil SG.

All of which means that I suddenly have lots of woodwork to do, and I can't keep finding excuses.

Yours, trying not to feel too very much daunted

La la, err, laaaa

Writing On The Wall

Well, another day another duffnut and as I'm into my final hours d'freedom I thought I'd see how far I can get with The Raspberry Ripple One. So the plan today, for today and tomorrow (assuming such things as tuners and scratchplates arrive in a timely manner) is to finish this baby.

To this end - I am such a writer honey - I have removed the pickups from my Gordo, which now looks sad and forlorn, but every war has casualties and it will just have to deal with it - and I have put them on a table next to the wiring loom that came from a Gibson SG some time or other.

Sitting on a table, big step towards productivitiness, you have to admit.

Also, I have dug out such niceties as chunky strap pins and bits of bridge and tailpiece (OK, haven't found the tailpiece itself, but I know I have one somewhere), and there we go. Once the 'plate arrives I should be able to solder and bolt and with a bit of luck we might end up with a pretty guitar that makes cool noises and everything.

All good stuff.

If on the other hand nothing arrives as hoped, well, I will immediately leap into Plan B Mode and pretend that I'm a fat old sad white boy rapper who looks like Paul Jewell. Or maybe at least get the soldering out of the way so I can plug everything else together when such opportunities present themselves.

I think we all know what will happen here, to quote a poet of note, the writing is on the wall.

Shelley never came up with lines like that, though maybe Shelley Winters did, I wouldn't know.

As for what I'll do over the next week or so, well woodwork is out, but I have vague hopes that all the various bobbins will arrive so that I can get it on and generally bang a gong with the pink-tastic The JoBo One. I've decided that this will be a proper single pup Esquire and I'm-a-planning on getting another Broadcaster pickup from Mr Mojo as it quite simply was the best Tele-pup I've played so far, and that be good enough for me, tellin-yer.

But that is for another day...just a case of waiting for the postie...

As for today, I'm maybe possibly meeting Simon from Fusion Guitars at a motorway services to relieve him of some bits of wood and guitar bodies (I think anyway), so that is something to look forward to in between watching day time telly in my vest and generally living on scratchcards and Pot Noodles.

La di laaaa di daaah

Clanging Chimes of Doom

Well, today proved to be a bit of a deadloss again, though The Raspberry Ripple One is lacquered and hardening off so I guess that be a step in the rightest of directions.

I finally decided on the pickups, and am swapping the Gibson '57 and Seymour Duncan Phat Cat in out of my Gordo, which I'm going to do something different with.

I like the PAF/P90 mix so that should sound pretty good methinks.

Especially now that I've realised the Phat Cat sounds a lot better if you, err, wire it proper-like.

School holibobs are nearly here and it is dawning on me that I won't get The Fabulous and Pearly Dewdrop Ones much further along, but that's OK. I can live with that shame, on top of so many more I usually have to pay for.


As for the Riviera, I've decided that it would be nice to have a Semi to keep, so I'm not Jookifying that one even a little bit. It is just going to be a straight rebuild once I find a Bigsby and everything else. I should never have sold The Bosted Dot with it's Mr Bump sticker, but such is life, you live and learn and sometimes remember life's meagre lessons long enough to, well, whatever it was. Something cool, it really had to be. It's probably next to my car keys...

La la laaa.

WIP: The Raspberry Ripple One

Well, yesterday was a day of courier hell once more, but they got here in the end so the Epi Dot is off to fields fresh. As that kinda ruled out woodwork, I went hades-for-PVC with the Epi SG and apart from a couple more coats of lacquer to do today, got a fair old way along, I have to say.

As you can hopefully see, the body and neck have been bronzed with a smidge of copper for depth, and then suffered the indignity of a mushful of the house acid. This has been stabilised and then lacquered. I was planning to wax oil it but, err, forgot until about five minutes ago when I tripped over the tin of oil and spread it across the garage floor. Ho hum.

Other than that, I've had a change of heart and am doing it as a Jooky proper, as basically I thought it was worth it. So gone are the cheap Epi tuners and a nice set of Grovers are on their way. I've also ordered a full face scratchplate for good measure and have raised my sights on the pickups too. Basically, I've learned that I can't bring myself to do anything other than my best, which is a worrying trend. I never thought it could would should happen to me.

Speaking of pickups, I've decided I want to go the twin PAF route, for some reason, so I'm on the skirmish for those at the moment.

There we are, The Raspberry Ripple One. It might have had a broken neck, but it can still make a contribution to road safety in particular and society in a more general sort of way, I feel.

La la laa