Sold: The Pink Hephalump One

Picture the scene..

You wake-up one morning still walking,
yawning sounds of Amsterdam around you,
salty fragrance of a night's excess clinging to your hair,
your clothes.

You reach into  your pocket,
pat your jacket for the shake of a matchbox,
for the McGuinn jangle of your bordello-boarding house keys,
met only with a semi-solid thump of an unexpected
lump in your jeans
pocket.

Reaching in you look around,
stragglers still trying to wipe the condensation from windows,
trying to peep at long gone

girlza 

girlza 

girlza.

Sound like they are from Dublin;
party people.

You look down at the half-forgotten lump you are
grasping in tar-stained fingers and
see the glitter-sparkle of an elephant's arse.

Smell the faint traces of vanilla tobacco,
realise that it is a Jooky little amp you are holding -
neat, little thing, it raises a half smile.

Perhaps you could busk your way home,
that could be fun.

You look around for a long gone Rickie,
then remember Paula.







Unfortunately, you can’t buy The Pink Hephalump One, as somebody nice beat you to it.

Technical Stuff:
Amp Type: Amy-Tone
Output: ½-1 Watt
Box Type: Pink Elephant Cigarette Packet
Construction: Varnished Fag Packet
Dimensions 100mm x 48mm x 15mm
Power: 9V Battery
Input: ¼” Guitar Lead
Outputs: 8-Ohm Speaker
Controls: None
Special Stuff: Certificate of Authenticity, Builder Signed and Numbered
Serial Number: JGE#7
RSP: £500

Loving A Good Plan

Well, my Pink Heffalump is drying at the moment, but hopefully all will be revealed over the weekend. It looks good fun, so with a bit of the lucky stuff it will hit the spot.

Meanwhile, in Distraction City UK, I have been-a-plotting my next thingie, and basically planning how my £100 Challenge guitar will come together.

My basic idea is cunningly simple - I want something that is totally off the wall and slightly barking. I also don't want to do any woodwork or painting right now and so am going for another cloth finish, but something different this time, I feel.

The plan then - which will no doubt have changed twice before I reach the end of this post -

a.  Get a cheap Telecaster
b.  Strip all the parts off and sell them on eBay
c. Strip down the neck and stain it very dark before adding a glittery kind of finish.
d. Add gold coloured tuners - indeed all the parts will be gold coloured for total gaudiness
e. Make some kinds of holes in the body for resonance.
f. Cover the body in cloth - I'm thinking velvet or faux suede right now, not sure which.
g. Add some kind of fancy Gibson Semi type of tailpiece and bridge
h. Add a scratchplate from a Semi - I got one for a fiver off a nice chap on the MusicRadar forums this week.
i. Add a powerfilled P90 at the bridge
j. Make a Sustainer and put that at the neck.

And then I guess try and make everything work.

Now, I know, this all seems a touch on the ambitious side, especially as I haven't tried making a sustainer yet and will only have a month to put everything together, but there you go.

So the hunt for components begins. I have got the Tele and will flog the spare parts, hopefully to fund other bits 'n' bobbins.

I must admit, I might fit some rubbish here and there for the challenge and then replace it with better stuff later, just depends on whether I can sell the original bits, to be honest as I'm brassic...

La la la

This Gun For Hire

As the regular reader will know - just ask her - the Jooky way is a meandering little path, that tends to follow the muse rather than the cash register. As such, I seem to spend most of my time answering emails that ask -

'Will you make me...'
with my own that say
'Sorry, but no...'.
Not because I'm unhelpful, just that I do this for fun, have little time and lets face it, am hardly innit for the money, am I?

It came as quite a surprise the other week then, when I said 'Yes' and indeed offered.
Not sure what came over me,
but there we go.

Which brings me to something slightly new, which is making an amp out of a cigarette packet.
New to me, I mean, Smokey have been doing the same thing for a couple of decades, but new nonetheless.

And that is what I've started and I liked the packet, hence the post, although rather let down by the photography, I'm afraid.

What you can see there is one packet that has just been painted with some gubbins that will make the card go a bit more plasticcy, and the other that hadn't then but has now.

Hopefully, it will be done shortly - the amp, and I'll let you see what delights glitter so.

Oh, the amp will be called 'The Pink Hephalump One' though what the other box will be used for, I'm not sure right now.

La la..

Too much coffee today, I fear

Sold: The Paisley One

It wasn't all free love and The Beatles vs. The Stones in the Sixties, there was a fella who played the Guitar called Hendrix, and a thirst for invention and advancement that saw mankind race to the moon...look around and then come back with some Seaside-of-Tranquility rock for the kids.

Millions watched in black and white as an acid-fuelled world turned technicolour around them, before Jimi burned his guitar and single-handedly ended the Viet Nam war.


I might have that part wrong, I wasn't born until '68 so I am basing a lot of this found-memory on Time Life commercials and the dim recollections of my parents.

Ever since, we have all become accustomed to a variety of re-writes of history and the glorification of the dead stars of the day.

Jim Morrison was the lizard king not some fat alkie who rarely washed.

Janis Joplin was an artist not a clapped out drunk who ingested her body weight in Southern Comfort before breakfast,

And of course Jimi Hendrix was the best guitarist ever to grace the planet,
despite never being able to keep his guitar in tune.

And it is Hendrix that inspired us to make this unique piece of guitar history that is The Paisley One.

It is Hendrix that we thought we would cynically cash-in on, like everybody else does

It is Hendrix and the questions that are raised every time the circulation of a guitar magazine dips,
that pushed us to think about the eternal lament -

'What would he be doing now if he hadn't snuffed it?'

And The Paisley One is our response to that unanswerable question.

The Paisley One is our retort aimed with barbs at the Disney-esque 'Gibson Hendrix Authentic Electric Guitar' and to all the other phony nostalgia that people pedal, based on myths about stars they never met or even rated at the time.

There were forty million people at the Isle of Wight festival back then, 
and they are just the people I've met.
Woodstock?
I hate to think.

And The Paisley One is our response,
for we truly believe that if Jimi Hendrix were alive today,
he wouldn't be stretching the limits of music and musicianship
with midi-controlled voodoo robots,
and he wouldn't be creating
Venusian soundscapes
full of psychedelic volcanoes
erupting dolphin-inspired
operas.

Nope, he would be doing what
every
other
relic
of that decade is doing and
would be playing
a
Paisley
Strat
on the end of a pier
or if he is lucky
in a Vegas casino,
or at the Albert Hall,
cashing in on ersatz nostalgia and
burning
his
guitar
twice
a
night
and three times on Saturday
for the Chicken-Kiev-in-a-basket brigade.

So it was with sadness that we set out to create a Paisley Strat,
to add our own tribute to the King of the Fuzz
to a world already teeming with them
in the shape of a guitar with a Strat body, PRS pickup, Suhr shaped headstock
and a Jooky built-in Sophie's Filthy Boots fuzz thing.

It was with a tear that we tracked down the coolest and grooviest design and
finished it with true psychedelic love.

We did it for Jimi,
and we did it for you
just you
to give you a piece of Jimi
to let you say you have
his guitar
because you are special
and we're not
at all
cynical
we love Jimi
and you
especially
you.

And we feel Jimi
would have wanted it
would have wanted you to have
The Paisley One,
to own his guitar.

Be him.

And one lucky person can now be Jimi,
can own his guitar,
can be
The Paisley One.

But there can only ever be one Jimi Hendrix
can only be one owner of The Paisley One
can only be one Paisley One
Will it be you?


To be clear, The Paisley One is an utterly unique instrument, and there will never, ever, be another made.
It is signed and numbered, and was entirely handmade by somebody who was at least born as a product of the Summer of Love, even if you weren't.

We're Sorry to say that you can't buy this guitar, as it has now been Sold.

Technical Stuff:
Type: Custom Guitar
Output: Single PRS P90 Bridge Pickup
Guitar Type: Based on a Fender Stratocaster shaped guitar with a Gibson-rip-off-style-headstock
Construction: Cloth over wood
Power: 9V Battery for the Fuzz effect
Output: ¼” Guitar Lead
Modes: Standard Bridge P90 and Sophie's Filthy Boots Fuzz, selected via a Slide Switch
Controls: Volume and Tone. Tone provides a fuzz level control when in Sophie's Filthy Boots Mode
Special Stuff: Certificate of Authenticity, Builder Signed and Numbered, All Wrapped with our Trademark Jooky Wrapping.
Serial Number: JGE#6
RSP: £SOLD

And now..

Well, the Paisley One is there at last, and between tweaking it a wee bit and playing it a fair bit more, it has been quite nice to get to the end of that particular, err, 'journey'.

I am soooo very Generation Zzzzz.

But, that isn't the end of things and it is equally cute to get back on track with what I should have been doing in the first place, and building some amps and effects.

To set the ball-a-rolling then, I'm going to put together a couple of Sophie's and an Amy or two. Maybe even a Cheryl if I'm feeling adventurous. I'm also plotting something new for the Cigar Box Guitar on the horizon, which will be nice.

Oh, and there is also a little Pink Elephant or two that I've got to get my head around...next in fact, but more on that anon.

But it is late,
or early

it is all
about
perspex

nitey-nite

Finally, Really Finished, Honest

Well, I thought it would never end, never mind you, but I am oh-so-gloriously-happy to be able to say that I have finally finished The Paisley One. Or JGE#6 as it will be forever known.

For the record - it is based upon a second hand Strat type body and I believe a Squier neck of some kind, although cut into the shape of a Suhr.

Though, I might struggle to pass this off as that.

The body is covered in a beautifully colour-rich fulsomeness of paisley fabric, which has been glossed to a sheen and sort of polished a bit here and there. Which makes taking fotos a bit tricky, but there we are.

The scratchplate is a second hand, left-handed one I flipped over and covered with the same cloth.

The pickup is a single P90 that came off a PRS SE One, that sounds excellent and sustains for a week at least.

The Volume pot is just that, but the Tone pot is really a Fuzz control knob thing, for the cunningly hidden-under-the-hood Sophie's Filthy Boots Fuzzy thing, that is switched on with a little sliding switch on the scratchplate.

Other than that, I've put a nice ashtray bridge cover on which serves no practical purpose and doesn't quite fit right despite the gentle persuasion of my lump hammer. It looks good though, and that'll do for now.

All in all though, it sounds amazing and is all made from lots and lots of boney old scrag end...which is of course what my Jooky little adventure is about..

I'll try and record a video or something later on so you can hear The Paisley One in action


Cool as

Finally, Nearly...OK, I Still Haven't Finished

I'll admit it, despite spending a whole 37 minutes on it earlier today, The Paisley One lies uncomplete on the kitchen table, and I've resorted to beer.

Now, don't get me wrong, I did actually do something. I foiled the cavities - if that doesn't sound like something they are introducing in Manchester Airport - and I sorted all the knobs and pots and jacks and little match box with the Sophie's Filthiness inside it, and I even put a string on to see whether it sort of worked.

And I'm pleased to say that it sort of worked,
better even when I flipped the pots over and
put the wires
in
the
right
places.

But it isn't finished, and is all a tad noisy-in-a-bad-way for my liking.
So I need to do more
but not tonight
with beer to drink.

La la & a la.

Challenging Times

Well, no sooner had I jumped at the 2010 £100 guitar challenge thing, and started a-scheming-and-a-planning, some bright spark decided to issue a 'Made it yourself' challenge, which entails building a wee Cigar Box Guitar or Diddly Bow or something.

Naturally, I bounded in double-clogged.

La la laaaa

Filthy Stuff, no strings attached

Well, in yet another last minute change-of-mind, for which I'm becoming somewhat known and in-fame, when I came to wire up The Paisley One, I decided that rather than go with the previous forty-seven ideas, what I really wanted was one of our Sophie's Filthy Boots Fuzzy things available on-tap.

And so that is what is happening,
I've changed the switch to a different type,
Sophie is in her little England Glory matchbox, and
the tone knob is now going to be a control for the fuzz -
so it won't mean a thing when the switch ain't got that swing -
doowap, doowap dooo-wap.

As for actually finishing this guitar that has become a bit of an odyssey or perhaps an Iliad,
that should be done today.
Wired-up and ready to go.

Just one problem
I've realised
I forgot
to buy
any
strings
so I
might
have to
pop-on
and out.

la la la

p.s. The Foto of Sophie Ellis Bextor has nothing to do with the Sophie of the Filthy Boots, clearly. I just thought it made a change to see a model with some flesh on her. She is my new heroine.

Limping toward the retreating line

Well, the Paisley One is so close now, but still I can't seem to kill it off.
It's starting to annoy me now, to be honest, but so many other things seem to get in the way.
Bleurghh.

Yesterday, however, I did manage to assemble everything minus the electronic bobbins, and it now stands proud with a neck, tremolo/bridge and block thing with springs in between.

It also has a backplate - black which looks boring and might have to be covered - and at the top of the shop the chrome tuners and string trees that came with the neck in the first place.

So basically, the electronics I still haven't sorted out are becoming a 'must'.

But I can't do them until tomorrow afternoon
which bugs me
lots.

On a more cheery note, it looks like there is to be a £100 guitar build challenge again this year,  over on the Music Radar forums. The idea of this is that you basically build a guitar - or update one - for a ton or less.

All the parts and everything apart from labour and postage to be counted or estimated.

Which sounds like fun and as it has to be completed within a month - assuming that the rules are the same as last time - it might put a rocket up me to get going and finish everything else first.

The trouble is, I'm off thinking about that now,
not the Paisley One,
Sophie's Filthy Boots,
or my dearies,
Cheryl and
Amy.

Despite all my promises of focus and dedication
to the cores.

*sigh*

No Logo

I was wondering, the other day, why I never get comments on this blog, but do get emails from people. Then I realised I hadn't switched the comments on, so sorry about that. I would love to hear what people think about all of this bobbins, good, bad or WTF. So let me know if there is anything on your mind, as it were.

What reminded me of this, is that I got an email yesterday from Christ in New York, asking why I don't have a neato logo on everything, as it would help with the branding, which you have to say is a fair point. And as it happens, I've, in the past, spent many a long boring meeting on logos and brand values, trying to enhance offerings and generally milk them babies.

And I  have even tried my best to create such a thing with a little company I loved and lost once-upon-a-time. So brands, I am aware of, and I guess by calling this 'The Jooky Guitar Emporium' and not just 'Stuff I make' I am in a way trying to give it an identity, which is like a brand really. A name.

But logos? Well, to be honest that isn't what this is all about. And marketing spin? Not my cuppa tea this time around either.

And will I be sending Guitarist magazine review 'copies?'

I doubt it somehow, as even if I did and they reviewed it and liked it and wrote nice things, and loads of guitarists all over the place thought

'I know, I'd like a Jooky little amplifier or a pair of Sophie's Dirty Boots'

and showed-up looking to buy such delights from this Emporium.
Even if they did that, they would all just end-up shrugging shoulders and wondering where all the products are. They would never get to do that guitarist forum thing where somebody says

'I got a Jooky pedal, it's soooo very coooool'
and somebody else would say

'Oh, I was going to get one of those'
and then somebody else would say

'Oh, the other guitarist in my band got one, but he thought it was a one-trick-pony',
and then maybe someone else - you know the guy, the self-appointed expert - well, this someone else guy would say

'But isn't that like the pedal Chapman made as a prototype before he concentrated on his stick, and buried in his garden unheard by any living person as he was embarrassed as he couldn't get it to work but not before sketching out a schematic on the back of a fag packet which he left lay around and I saw on display in a glass cabinet guarded by elves in the cellar of the music shop around the back of my school in Abersychan. Jooky just nicked it from there.'
and then somebody else would say

'Yeah, I heard that'
and then everybody would join in and it would be,
like,
hell.

And basically, I don't want that sort of hassle.

So the way I see it is that I'll make things that I like.
One at a time and all just because I like them or the idea.

Once I've made them, I'll write on them, in me bestest paw
so you can tell where they came from
with a number and
everything.

I generally will use a marker pen, like a Sharpie or something.
Or like on the Paisley One here, I might burn it on.
Depends how I feel, really.
I'm just along for the ride
like a leaf in a stream.

Think I need more sleep.

p.s. I meant to mention, that if you are rather attached to logos on your guitars - and looking around eBay you can spend a lot of money buying one - HERE is a nice way to do it on the cheap, if you are looking for a Fender logo anyway. I tried water slide decals on my guitar build, and they are dead easy to use.

p.p.s. If you arrived at this page by searching for milk them babies you are at the wrong web site and probably need help.

Meandering like a butterfly. Achieving like a cuppa tea

If you are one of the - amazing number of - folks who have been reading this blog regularly, it won't come as a surprise to hear that I get side-tracked easily. Not that it really matters, as Jooky was never meant to be a profit-centre or money-generating-entity, or anything other than a measure of fun really, but some people do wonder what the point is.

In fact, I'm not sure myself. We sold The Snake Hipped One yesterday, and to be honest it came as a shock that we were selling anything at all when the email arrived, as I'd totally gone off on a tangent with The Paisley One.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm pleased we did sell it - it gives all of this a point - and I hope they enjoy it. I'd forgotten how much fun the amps are until I, err, tested it last night for half an hour.

And that did make me think. It made me think that I should make more things, well, finish more things as they are fun to use and it is nice for other people to have a go with them as well.

So I'm going to be a bit more organised and instead of going in twelve directions at once, I'm going to make the effort and set myself a little rule that we have at least one of each of our 'products' - I hate that word - in 'stock' - yeurch - at all times, and if somebody happens to buy one, then I'll make another of the same kind of thing.

So there we are, my big plan part 77.8:

1. Finish the Paisley One and put some strings on it
2. Make a Sophie's effect of some type. I'm thinking a golden shag tin
3. Build a Cheryl-tone Amp, maybe with a painted box
4. Create another Amy-tone Amp.

After that, I can get on with playing I reckon.
And start to dismantle the Telecaster I've just acquired, 
I'm thinking flock wallpaper
or gold lame
or maybe
just
m
a
y
b
e
.
.
.

p.s. The Shakey Spear One is still up for grabs HERE for the next few hours anyway.

Decisions, decisionless

Well, the little Paisley One is pretty much there body-wise now, and it has come down to a couple of decisions before I put it all together. Starting with the trivial, it is a case of whether I go for a cream coloured pickup cover, or a black one. I've got both, just can't make my mind up...

The second little problem, which to be honest will dictate the pickup cover vexedness, is whether to go for a plain black pickguard instead of the paisley one. Again, I guess it doesn't really matter too much, but I can't get my head around whether the one-hundred-per-cent-paisley approach is a bit much, and a little less could be a lot more effective.

On a more interesting level, I'm finally about to sort out the leccyness, and thinking that perhaps the sustainer idea is one for another day, as I'd rather get this working without six months R&D. So, the plan is to utilise the cunning teeny sliding switch I've put onto the scratchplate, and offer a choice of the basic P90 or the mayhem of an octaving fuzz thing. Whether that will be my own variation, or for easiness/laziness I use the Tonepad Green Ringer one, I'm not sure. Mine sounds a bit brighter, but the other sustains a little better, so I'm not clear which I prefer..

One other thing, is the tone knob. I wasn't going to bother with one, but I've cut the hole now so I might as well. I'm thinking this will either be a variatone idea or maybe I'll have it as a blend and include a piezo pickup under the hood... unless I go for a boringly normal tone knob.

Decisions, decisionless.

The fotos are a chuck together, by the way, to see how it looks before I really nail it good and proper-like.

It's In My Brain

Well, managed to do a bit more cutting and pasting, and The Paisley One - to give it it's formal title - is looking a bit more likely to succeed.

Hopefully, you'll be able to see in the fotos that all of the creamy colour has now been paisley-fied, apart from the cavities, and generally it is starting to look the part.

There is still a wee bit of work to be done, as it is a bit untidy here and over there, and we've got to get into the sanding and clear coating cycle for a while, but generally it is rough enough for my tastes yet looking solid enough to survive.

The neck too, mustn't forget that. I've resisted the urge to go Bisto-like, and so it has ended-up nicely honeyed rather than daytime-telly. I also had some gold tuners, which are on in the foto, but as all of the rest of the hardware is chrome, may not be for long.

Going forward, I'm going to wire it basically and fit it together once a few bits show up, and then decide what to do about the electronics for real.

That is the interesting part, of course. I'm kind of torn between using the octaver/fuzz I've been playing with, putting a Sophie's Fuzz in or trying to build a little sustainer, like the Fernandes or Sustainiac ones.

One step at a time though, getting it to play in tune will no doubt be the first step...

Making holes & a Bit More Paisley

Not too much time today for Jooky-stuff, but I did manage a couple of jobs before real life took over..

Firstly, I finally put those there chisels I got from Homebase to good use, and 'routed' out a bit more space so that the P90 pickup will fit in. I also made more room generally at the front as to be honest I am still not entirely sure what sort of electronic gubbins I will be including in there, or more to the point, how much room it will take.

Once the chiselling desisted, it was nice to be able to at least place the pickup and scratchplate onto the guitar. It either looks nice, or horrendous, depending on your view of such things, though more 'real' if nothing else, all would have to agree.

Anyway, it was good to move on that bit.

Next, I got down to the real business of the day, and following the procedure I described yesterday, managed to stick some lovely paisley stuff onto the back of the guitar. This still needs a couple more coats of the Podge, and the usual sanding and clear coating, but man the shape - it looks like a guitar...which feels good after all this time.

If I get the chance later to put the front on, I'll let you know.

As for how easy it was to do, well lets just say the flat and the big curves were fine, but the neck end was a 'mare and I've decided that there will probably be a bit of patchwork going on to make it all nice and neat.

No matter anyway, though If I ever do this again I think I'll either got for a nice flat Tele, or go the Fender route and only apply it on the front, painting the edges and bursting around the design. That would be a load easier, but there we are. I'd worked that out up front to be honest, I was only ever being awkward.

DIY Groovy Scratchplates & Fake Tan For Your Neck

Well, I wanted to get on with the Purple Paze this weekend, but realised that the 'chiseling' part of removing wood from the guitar to fit the pickup in needed a chisel, which I didn't have. Which slowed me down a wee bit, but meant I could concentrate on a different bit instead.

Two jobs then, and the first is easiest dealt with... When I got the neck for this guitar, it had - has - a lovely feel to it, but I have to say I thought it looked a bit insipid and pale. What I decided to do then was to give it a bit of a fake tan, so first job of the day was to break out the trusty tin of Danish Oil I used on the neck of my Cigar Box Guitar, and try and warm it up a wee bit. As I write this there are a couple more coats to go, but so far so good.

The second one was more of a trial, but seems to have turned out beautifully, and is a nice 'proof of concept' for the main guitar body. As I couldn't go ahead and start covering the guitar body with my Paisley cloth, I thought instead I'd try it on the scratchplate - see how it worked.

The truth of the matter is that I'm not sure whether I will use this scratchplate anyway, as design-wise I'm figuring a plain black one will look more effective against the background ocean of Paisley, but you never know, and nothing lost whether it works out OK or not.

How to do it though, was pretty easy.

First off, I traced an outline of the scratchplate onto the back of the cloth and cut an inch or so around that, so that when I lay it on the scratchplate it flopped over the edges.

Second, I came over all Martha Stewart - God, that would be aw-fful *- and used a product called Mod Podge to glue the cloth onto the plate. I covered the back of cloth and the surface of the plate and then stuck it together. It's not hard.

Third, to make it nice and smooth and bubble free I used an old debit card to spread the cloth out. The only pain was  because there are the three pickup holes cut already, the cloth naturally dips into them. One will be cut out, but the other two are a pain. Hence the thought that a new custom cut scratchplate might be the final solution.

Fourth, I let the scratchplate dry for twenty minutes, and had a cuppa. Hard work all this, I ain't kidding you.

Fifth, is the good bit and what will either make this whole cloth covered guitar idea work or not. The clever thing with this Mod Podge is that it isn't just a glue. Nope, it will also act as a 'grain filler' and sealant, and so the next step is to literally paint it over the top of the scratchplate.

This will fill the teeny little holes in the cloth, and eventually make it hard and smooth, and to be honest putting it on is a dream. Painting it pretty thickly, it is just a case of leaving it twenty minutes to dry for each coat - it goes on white and ends up transparent, so you can tell when it is 'done' - repeating the process five or six times. At the end of that, the material is like pliable plastic, and slightly rough to the touch, with a nice gloss sheen to it. There is a matte version too, as well as some others. Cool, to be honest.

Sixth, once that was dry, I used a Stanley knife to trim the excess cloth off from around plate, and it looks excellent and feels very hard wearing. The finishing touch today will be to smooth it down with some wet and dry, and seal the whole shebang with  couple of coats of clear coat, which I have left over from the guitar build. It doesn't actually look like it needs the clear coat, but Mod Podge can get a bit sticky apparently, and that is meant to cure the problem.

And that is that, and exactly what I plan to do on the guitar body. I have to say, I was leaping into the night a wee bit with this whole thing, and I am surprised how well it worked on the scratchplate. Better than I had hoped in truth. I still have to cut out the hole for the pickup, you may have noticed, but I figured I'd do that once I know exactly where it will sit in relation to the scratchplate. It would be grim for things not to line-up, and all that.

It does set me thinking about scratchplates generally though as it is an easy way to update your own with any design you like on the cheap. The Mod Podge cost £3.49 and the cloth was pennies, but it will stick paper as well as cloth and the scope for that is endless.

Other than that, I went and bought some chisels - set of five from Homebase for £3.59 - so I'm going to have a go at routing it out today, and maybe do a bit more cloth sticking for real.

* Copyright Rob Newman, sometime late in the 1980s 

Relics are such an odd idea

I have to say, I don't really understand the whole relic thing, when it comes to guitars, especially when it comes to paying somebody thousands of pounds to smash up an expensive guitar for you.

Don't get me wrong, I would love an old Strat or Tele, a real one, just to see how different they are and how age has changed the wood and all that.

But paying a custom shop to build one for me just seems odd.
Call me the-son-of-a-war-baby, but if I'm going to spend thousands on a guitar,
I want a bloody new one.

So I find the whole idea strange, though in moments of self-awareness perhaps not that different to me making things out of really old tins and boxes - I've got a beautiful 1890s tin I'm going to turn into a multi-fx, by the way, but I digress.

So to be honest, apart from the Vintage Lemondrop, I never saw myself as interested in a relic or ever likely to buy one, or even have a go at making one.

The Lemondrop I would buy despite it being 'distressed' as it sounds amazing...

Well, until I came across this little site, The Relic Guitar Studio no less, where it really made a bit more sense. You see what I have realised is that most of the relics I have seen have basically been battered in a ham-fisted kind of way, and don't really look old as such.

Just knackered.

I mean, I bought a Jazzmaster in '89, and it has since been played a lot, I used it for gigs and it has generally been left in a gig bag or on a stand since. I'm not somebody that wraps anything in cotton wool. Over twenty years then it has been knocked over, dropped down stairs, got kicked off a stage, and being at the tender mercies of two dribbling babies who now aren't so small.

All in all then, it has lived a bit and has a few scars, dints and knocks to prove it. What it hasn't got is a back that looks like it has been attacked with a radial sander, or 'comfort curves' to match. The colour has changed from white to a sort of dirty cream, and I think the neck is probably a bit more yellowed than it used to be, but generally, in a foto it still looks pretty good, and not so bad in person. It's lasted better than I have.

Now, bearing in mind that at no point in history would you say that your average Tele or Strat was a throwaway kind of purchase for your average musician, why is it that people think that these guitars would all of been absolutely battered for the intervening forty or fifty years? Wear and tear, that I can understand, and wanting a guitar that plays and looks like it has been around for a while, again, I can understand. Most people buy jeans that have been pre-washed after all.

But the site I mentioned has changed my mind about whether relics can really look the part or not, as looking through their guitar bodies and necks, they just look, well, old.

Old and well used, like real guitars.

And the marks where it looks as though a scratchplate has been removed, looks like my Jazzmaster when I take off the scratchplate, and the colours of the paint are perfect, and the way paint ages is just right and shows an amazing attention to detail. And that is it - an attention to detail that means the end product simply looks perfect.

And despite vowing never to buy a guitar again, I might just have to bend a little and buy some pre-aged -I can't bring myself to say relic - parts and make my own authentic looking guitar.

And most of all they do a Hendrix Monterey Strat, which is lovely, and beloved and would look dead handsome and a bit more lovely in my arms.

And if I had the money I would click on the 'Buy Me Now' button right-now-this-moment.

But I don't,
so maybe I will have to try and make my own after all
or save up some pennies
or sell a kidney
or three
on ebay.

*sigh*

Back to the Purple Paze

The Relic Guitar Studio is HERE

If anybody wants to buy me a Monterey Strat, CLICK HERE

New Year Bobbins

Well, now that we're well and truly into the New Year I figured that maybe I should start to do something about the Purple Paze, my cloth-eared P90 Strat thingie.

As I said before, I think I've got all of the pieces, but am a little bemused about how to chop chunks of wood out of it so that the pickup will fit in.

The plan then:

Firstly, I've marked where I want the wood removed.

Secondly, I'm going to take a chisel to it (although I have been offered the loan of a router, but not having used one before it might be something I leave for another day.)

Thirdly, I'm going to cut a hole in the dodgy old, flipped over scratchplate, again so the P90 will fit.

Fourthly, I'm going to have a go at covering the scratchplate with the paisley cloth. I figured, it would be good to try it on there before I brave the body itself.

Its a start anyway...

Other than the Paze, I'll probably spend most of this week actually trying to play something on a guitar, as those fine people at Guitar Tools have somehow managed to put over 160,000 guitar tabs up and on their web site. Just about everybody you can think of is represented on there, and it looks likely to expand as time goes on...

They were still tuning the server last time I looked, but well worth a visit if you want to fulfill your life and nail that elusive guitar solo in George Michael's 'Faith...'

La la la
Happy Noo Year

More Porn

I know I'm in danger of turning this into some sort of XXX Cigar Box Guitar Porn site, but I err, just 'came across' this picture of an Oil Can Guitar made by Chicken Bone John, who I previously showed playing some excellent slide HERE.

(This blog isn't just thrown together,
apart from when it is.)

Which is a nice way of introducing the fact that the article on my first Cigar Box Guitar build, is now up and available to be poured over by scholars and acolytes alike, on the Guitar Tools Web Site.

An article that describes the fact that my CBG was not quite as nearly lovely as the Chicken man's.

You can read all about it HERE at DIY Dunce

Chicken Bone John's web site, full of his amazing looking and sounding creations is HERE

DIY Dunce

It might seem odd, the fact that we have this Jooky place, making and (finally) selling some quite luverly amps and soon-to-be-seen effects and maybe not-quite-so-soon-to-be-seen-but-soon-enough, some handmade guitars, whilst at the same time I'm writing about how useless I am at DIY over on the quite excellent Guitar Tools web site.

It might seem weird, but there we are, the fact that Jooky is (to my mind) such a cool thing is only enhanced because when it comes to DIY I am indeed a technical cripple.

Jooky is cool despite me.
I can live with that.

Anyway, I haven't talked about the DIY Dunce column before so I thought I'd point you at it.

At the moment, it has a description of how I was guided thru the build of a guitar kit by my much-better-at-this-than-me six-year-old son, and in the New Year there should be new features on building a Cigar Box Guitar and some effects pedals, and who knows what else.

So have a look why don't you, it is OVER HERE.