Thursday 1 January 2009

The Small Print

Welcome to the Emporium, the Palace of Jooky delights, and a place where you can find a varied collection of one-off guitar related things, built by hand and never a sign of anything being made the same way twice.

I say 'things', because this isn't a traditional shopping experience.

Everything that gets sold at the emporium is built at the emporium.
Everything we have is made just because we feel like it.

We don't have a product range or a stock rotation policy, we just build things we like or maybe think that would be helpful to other guitar builders, and then if you want to buy one you can.

If not, and they hang around a while, never mind, we'll still like them and there we are.

No harm done.

Are you wondering what the 'Jookiness' is all about?


Well, Jook is another name for junk, or bootlegs, and that's how we see ourselves. We make guitars out of boxes and amps out of tins and basically, like a lot of fine people subscribe to the idea that you don't have to have the same as everybody else to be cool.

So, we make things out of what we've got and we make them with the tools we've got and I'm not sure I can even spell CNC some days never mind know what one is meant to do and if that means that things aren't streamlined and homogenised, well what can I say, that's just the way it happens to be..

You see, if you want a proper Marshmallow stack of amps or a hot rodded, made-in-the-U-S-of-A guitar, this isn't really the place for you. Go check out Fenderland or Gibsonville, they have Quality Control and Pastry Cutters and trademarks and patents and consistency.

Well, so I hear.

We on the other hand, well, we just don't. Our stuff is built from what we can get hold of, whether it is old cigar boxes or cigarette tins, second-hand bits of guitar or just wire we found hanging around.

(Actually, we usually buy the wire as you don't tend to see a lot of that lay about the place.)

Anyhow, we're not time served luthiers either, but we like it that way, it makes things more interesting, if you see what I mean, and the guitars, amps and other things we put together each have their own personality, their own sense of style. Like I say, they are all one-offs too, so if you are playing a gig you won't be surrounded with another dozen people playing  the same guitar, through the same amp as you. You won't have to hear that 'tone is all about fingers', if you know what I mean.

Just to absolutely make sure that everything we build is unique, they are also numbered and signed, but to be honest that is more for our benefit than yours, it helps us keep track of what we have been doing with ourselves. Keeps us out of trouble in a funny kind of way

What we do though, is care about everything we make. It may be built from this and that, and we very deliberately make things a bit shonky around the edges if they aren't already, but the end result has to be good and 'for real', and be full of personality. No point flogging anybody junk after all, you can find that anywhere. Selling stuff that you make from junk, but that turns into something else entirely, well, that is different.

That’s an artform.

But that is enough about the Emporium, just have a look around and if you see something you fancy, why not give it a whirl. If you don't, come back another day, we might have been busy and come up with something new that you do like. Either way, say hello, we're pretty friendly most of the time. We just like to do things our own way, and not really trot along with everybody else just because that is how things have always been done.

You never know, you might grow to like being a little bit different too.


Something About Us & How To Get In Touch
The Jooky Guitar Emporium is a fun little project and not really a for-profit kind of thing at all.
We make the odd guitar amp, effect pedal or guitar in a DIY non-traditional way, and sell them to pay for the next couple. It isn't really a business, but obviously there are rules about selling things so there are some Terms and Conditions we have to abide by.

1. If you buy something from us, you should be aware that it will often be made from pre-used boxes or tins. Therefore, they won't be in pristeen condition, although all electronic components will be brand new, unless otherwise stated. We like things that look battered and broken, and this is reflected in what we make. Things will be well made, but generally you wouldn't know it by looking at them.

2. If you buy something direct from us and change your mind, or don't like it when you see it, we will happily refund the cost of the item. Just email us and we will tell you what you need to do. We won't however be able to refund the cost of P&P.

3. If an item you have bought direct from us doesn't work 'straight from the box', please get in touch as soon as possible. Obviously, all of our 'things' are handmade and soldered, and whilst they should be OK for everyday use, aren't designed to be thrown from tall buildings or otherwise mistreated. Saying that, we will usually try to fix anything that you break for free, as long as you cover the cost of P&P. Talk to us first though, as we may not feel quite so magnaminous if a box full of beer and shattered amp parts turns up and ruins the Axeminster.

4. If you aren't happy with anything we do, please email us and tell us, and we will try and cheer you up. We do this for fun,  and hope to carry on doing it for a long time, and basically don't need any hassle any more than I'm sure you do.

If your name is Cheryl, Sophie, Leona or Amy and you are famous and feeling litigious, we really love you and the Amy, Sophie, Leona and Cheryl that inspired our designs are nothing to do with you. They are another bunch of psycho scrubbers we came across back in the day.

5. We use PayPal, and sometimes eBay so all of their rules apply in those cases as applicable. We don't accept returns from eBay sales unless we feel like it in specific cases.

If you want to Contact Us, feel free to email us at: info (at) jooky.co.uk

To see a complete list of everything we have sold, by serial number, visit The Jooky Hall of Fame

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